恋爱手册（2014）

A to Z S01E09

Part 1 April 9, 2021, 4:40 p.m.

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距离圣诞还有两周
It was two weeks before Christmas,
安德鲁和泽尔达已经决定
and Andrew and Zelda had just decided
一起在城里过年
to spend it together in town.
这可能是我们迄今为止最棒的主意
This may be the best idea we've ever had.
没错
Agreed.
我还做了世上最棒的蛋酒
And I make the world's greatest eggnog.
其实就是马克杯里倒了伏特加
It's really just vodka in a mug.
那是我最喜欢的种类
That's my favorite kind.
对了我对送礼物很在行
Um, incidentally, I am a really good gifter.
不是要给你施压
Not to put any pressure on you,
你准备好接受
but get ready For
一生中排名前五的圣诞礼物吧
one of the top-five Christmas gifts of your life.
不是性♥爱♥优♥惠♥券吧
It's not a sex coupon, is it?
不是现在
Not now.
说真的我有个秘密武器
Seriously, I have a secret weapon,
她就在你身后
and she's right behind you.
我会帮他为你挑礼物小泽
I'm gonna help him shop for you, Z.
而且由于你的礼物也会出现在我的公♥寓♥
And because your gift will be in my apartment, too,
你就别期待小狗
don't expect puppies,
香薰蜡烛或是恐怖封面的电影了
scented candles, or movies with scary covers.
这不公平
Well, that's not fair.
显然你送的礼物会比我选的好
You are obviously gonna get the better present
因为你有我闺蜜的帮忙
because you have my best friend's help.
你随时可以找斯图帮你啊
You can always have Stu help you. Hol...
才怪
她能看见你斯图这么大块玻璃呢
She can see you, Stu. There's a giant window.
告诉她我是送礼"怪才"
Tell her it's "On."
-他答应了 -我不知道
- It's on. - I don't know.
我和斯图不太合
You know, Stu and I are sort of like --
就好像猫和狗或像是斯卡利亚和索托马约尔
Like cats and dogs or like Scalia and Sotomayor.
安东宁·斯卡利亚和索尼娅·索托马约尔是最高法♥院♥大♥法♥官意见不合常起冲突
他们是最高法♥院♥的法官
Supreme court justices?
快说你知道这两个名字不然我揍扁你
Just say that you know who they are so that I don't lose it.
-是他们啊 - 谁啊
- Oh, right. Those guys. - Who?
说真的别担心这事了
Seriously, don't even worry about it.
我完全乐意接受一张性♥爱♥优♥惠♥券
I'm perfectly happy settling for a sex coupon.
好吧告诉斯图算我一个
Okay. Tell Stu I'm in.
各位明天就是圣诞假期了
You guys, tomorrow is Christmas break,
这就意味着接下来的两周
which means that for the next two weeks,
全国的家长们会问他们未婚的孩子们
parents nationwide will be asking their unmarried kids,
"你们怎么回事" 逼他们去网上相亲
"What's wrong with you," driving them to internet-date.
要是我们的工作到位
And if we have done our job right,
他们就会选择壁花网
they'll choose Wallflower.
请看...自行车
Now...bikes!
人人一辆自行车
Everyone take one bike.
圣诞节快乐好好享受假期吧各位
Merry Christmas and enjoy your holidays, guys.
尽情享受
Enjoy!
莉迪亚有件麻烦事
Lydia, we have a problem.
天啊
Oh, my god.
艾琳·华♥莱♥士♥已经在我们网站注册三年了
Irene Wallace has been on our site for three years.
她花了一万四千美金寻找伴侣
She has spent $14,000 in the pursuit of a mate,
而她得来的却只有几次失败的约会
and all she has to show for it is a handful of failed dates.
你不是说遇到麻烦了吗这事怎么这么滑稽
I thought you said you had a problem, not a hilarious story.
我刚发现她正要接受
I just found out that she's doing an interview
《赫芬顿邮报》的采访
with the Huffington Post...
她将在采访中分享
...where she's gonna share
她在我们壁花网的悲痛经历
her disastrous experience here at Wallflower.
但是节假日会给我们带来四成的的注册用户
But 40% of our sign-ups are over the holidays.
不良报道可能让我们功亏一篑
Bad press now could crater our earnings.
我刚在自行车行做了投资
I just invested in a bike shop.
谁碰了自行车就没医保可拿
Anyone who touches one of those loses their health insurance.
都别碰自行车
Step away from the bikes.
他们大多数人都没有医保
Most of them don't have health insurance.
我嗅到了危机
I smell crisis.
如果你珍惜假期就马上跟我来
If you value your vacation, you'll come with me right now.
快走快走不走就来不及了
Move it! Move it! Move it or lose it!
快走
Move it!
赶快赶快快走
Hustle! Hustle! Move it up!
这是个危机霍华德
This is a crisis, Howard.
我们得召集有奉献精神的员工
We need to put together a team of dedicated employees
愿意将假期计划抛诸一旁
willing to put aside their holiday plans
直到我们解决危机
until we solve this.
瞧这些狡猾的小懦夫们
Those crafty little cowards.
我们需要人手霍华德
We need people, Howard.
大家都去哪里了
Where'd everyone go?
大事不妙走走走
There's been a crisis. Go. Go, go, go, go, g--
迪内希
Dinesh.
迪内希女士罗恩·霍华德
Lady Dinesh, Ron Howard...
电♥话♥
...phones.
谢谢你们的奉献
Thank you for your sacrifice.
什么
What?
安德鲁和泽尔达将会约会6个月
Andrew and Zelda will date for six months,
2小时12分钟
two hours and 12 minutes.
这部电视剧完整记录了
This television program is the comprehensive account
他们的恋爱点滴
of their rationship...
一字不落
From A to Z.
I代表不良沟通
我可以送他一台华夫饼机
I could get him a waffle maker.
开玩笑
Are you kidding?
-安德鲁早餐就是吃的华夫饼 -怎么了
- Andrew eats waffles for breakfast. - What?
因为我已经送了他一台华夫饼机
Because I already got him a waffle maker.
好吧
Okay, uh...
那就送点运动相关的
What about something... uh, sports-related?
-是哦比如运动相关的物品 -对
- Oh, yeah, like anything sports-related. - Yeah.
比如我们就送他个斯坦利杯[职业冰球全国锦标赛杯]
Like, uh, let's get him the Stanley Cup.
好啊多少钱
Okay. How much is that?
听着简单点就行了好吗
Look, you just keep it simple, all right?
只要惊艳的就行
Just make it awesome,
比如我给他买♥♥的这个老式唱盘
like this vintage turntable I got him.
是啊对好的
Yes, right. Okay.
我先看到的我正要给他买♥♥的时候
I saw that first, and I was gonna get it for him,
你就抢在我前头排队付款了
and then you jumped in front of me in the line.
-你... -我等不及看到他在圣诞节
- You... - I can't wait to see his big eyes light up
打开礼物时两眼放光了
when he opens it on Christmas Day.
好吧我受够了
Okay, I'm done.
泽尔达退出
Zelda out.
我们已经在这里逛了好几个小时
We have been here for hours,
你所做的就只有抢走我的主意
and all you do is, uh, ding my ideas.
你没抢我主意时
Oh, when you're not dinging me,
就在抢我要买♥♥的礼物
you're gift-blocking me.
我承认我们出师不利
I will admit it -- we got off on the wrong foot,
但是你再耐心等一会好吗
but just give us some time, all right?
我肯定安德鲁和史黛菲
I'm sure that Andrew and Stephie
还没什么进展呢
have not exactly hit the ground running.
-你觉得她会喜欢吗 -会超喜欢
- You think she'll like it? - She'll love it
搞定
Done.
来杯酒庆祝吧
Cocktails.
我很感谢你努力帮忙
I really appreciate your effort in trying to bond...
-可我觉得这非常... -请问
- ...but I think that it's very -- Excuse me.
你是圣诞老人吗
Are you Santa?
非常抱歉
I'm really sorry.
没关系
It -- it's okay.
对我是圣诞老人
Yes, I am Santa,
可我现在的卧底身份叫斯图
but I'm here undercover as a guy named Stu
来看看所有的乖小孩圣诞节想要什么
to see what all the good boys and girls want for Christmas.
-我想要个Xbox -是吗
- I want an Xbox. - Yeah?
让我问问我可爱的精灵泽尔达
Well, let me ask my lovely elf, Zelda,
有没有这个可能
if that is possible.
对我觉得没有问题斯图
Yeah, I think that we can arrange that, Stu.
好的
Yes!
好哦
Yeah!