恋爱手册（2014）

A to Z S01E09

Part 3 April 9, 2021, 4:40 p.m.

and my bike store deserves a shot.
好吧
Okay, fine.
我不会让你失望的莉迪亚
I won't let you down, Lydia.
赞
Good!
还有顺便说一下你1米98
Oh, and, uh, by the way, it says that you're 6'6",
所以记得早点到餐厅
So, uh, make sure to get to the restaurant early,
别站起来
and don't stand.
我都没来得及问你
Hey, I never got to ask you.
你跟安德鲁的购物进行得怎么样
How did your little shopping trip with Andrew go?
不错他很沉默
Fine. Yeah, um, he's very closed-off.
自己的事一句话也没说
Doesn't reveal much about himself at all.
真是个反复无常的沉默的
Sort of a mercurial, brooding...
家伙
fellow.
话说安德鲁刚给你发短♥信♥说
By the way, um, Andrew just texted you saying,
"谢谢你没跟泽尔达说圣诞节的事"
"Thanks for not telling zelda about Christmas."
安...安德鲁说的
A-andrew said that?
怎么回事
What about it?
我...我去泡杯新茶我要多喝点
It's -- gonna make some more new tea -- more tea for me.
哥们你准备好跟我看国王队比赛了吗
Hey, man. You up for watching the Kings' game with me later?
洛杉矶冰球队
泽尔达不想跟你一起过圣诞
Zelda doesn't want to spend Christmas with you.
什么
What?
还有我杀了谢尔比
And I killed shelby.
我本想跟谢尔比拥抱的但是我失手摔了它
I tried to give Shelby a hug, but I dropped him.
然后我把它捧起来想要亲亲它
Then I scooped him up to give him a kiss,
但是它咬了我的嘴唇
and he bit my lip,
然后我不自觉地就把它往墙上摔
so I instinctively just threw him against the wall.
我们能不能晚点再说谢尔比的事[扎一针]
Can we just put a pin in Shelby for a second?
我扎了但是它没反应
I did, but he was unresponsive.
我以为只有我
I thought I was the only one
不想在一起过圣诞
having second thoughts about Christmas.
那很好你们俩同步了
That's great. You guys are feeling the same thing.
你应该告诉她的
You should tell her.
但现在我又想和她一起过节了
But now I'm having second thoughts about my second thoughts.
不你知道吗
No. You know what?
我要跟泽尔达一起过圣诞
Yes, I'm gonna do Christmas with Zelda.
这是我一直梦寐以求的
It's all I've ever wanted all along.
那你确定你不是因为
So, uh, are you sure you're not just feeling,
觉得紧张和没有安全感
like, freaked out and insecure?
不是这将会是最棒的圣诞节
Nope. This is gonna be the best Christmas ever.
我想制♥造♥一个耶稣诞生的场景
I was thinking of making a nativity scene.
你觉得哪个更像小耶稣
Which one do you think will make the best baby Jesus?
你觉得我像基♥督♥徒吗
Do I look Christian to you?
霍华德情况如何
Howard. How did it go?
我要听所有的细节
I want all the details.
我好几年都没有约会了
Well... I haven't been on a date since the Aughts,
而且我只去辣味餐厅
and it's been longer since I've been to a not-a-chili's restaurant.
服务员走到我跟艾琳身边说
And the waitress comes over to Irene and I, and she says,
"我们这里跟别地不太一样"
"We do things a little differently around here."
我觉得有点意思就对艾琳说
So I was intrigued, and I turn to Irene, and I say,
"这话什么意思
"Well, what's that supposed to mean?
难不成是饭店请我们吃饭"
Do they pay us to eat?"
她也没笑
She didn't laugh, either.
我们吃的东西叫小吃
The food was something called tapas,
西班牙语意思肯定是"吃不饱"
which must be Spanish for "Still hungry."
她也没笑
Now, that she also did not laugh at.
也就是说你表现得还是很霍华德
So, basically, you pulled a Howard,
所以我们完蛋了
and now we're all screwed.
完全没有我们相处甚欢
Not at all. We had a great time,
她也同意不在采访中说壁花坏话
and she's agreed to not do the interview bashing Wallflower.
太好了
Yeah!
太好了对吧
Okay! Yeah, right?
我不知道你内心藏着个完全不同的霍华德
I didn't know you had a reverse Howard in you.
你贡献巨大
Wow, you've saved the day.
这代表我们...
Does that mean that we --
对你们可以骑着自行车走了
Yes, you can leave and take a bike.
谢谢你为团队牺牲霍华德
Thank you for taking one for the team, Howard.
现在我想明天
Now, I was thinking tomorrow,
可以开始好好审一下我们的预算了
we could start with a deep dive into the budget.
明天...
Oh, tomorrow is, uh...
我明天中午要和艾琳一起吃饭
I have lunch with Irene tomorrow.
为什么你已经成功了
Why? You've succeeded.
为什么要把真霍华德展现给她
Why pull a double reverse Howard?
艾琳跟我真的很投缘
Well, Irene and I actually really hit it off.
我们甚至谈到一起过节
We've even talked about spending some of the holiday together,
也许在奥哈伊租个宾馆
maybe rent a B&B up in Ojai --
那里能养宠物
a place that accepts pets.
我有只火蜥蜴
I have a salamander.
但是我俩一直在节日工作
But you and I always work over the holidays.
你知道吗算了
You know what? Forget about it.
去跟艾琳约会吧
Go hang out with Irene.
我叫她芮妮
I call her Reenie.
我一点都不关心你叫她什么
I don't really care what you call her.
我只是很高兴你找到了另一半
I'm just so glad that you've found someone.
真为你高兴
I'm so happy for you.
谢谢莉迪亚
Oh, thanks, Lydia.
谢谢你
Thank you.
保重
Take care.
你也是
Oh, you, too.
玩得开心
Enjoy.
开心点
Have fun.
这跟我想的开心一点都不一样
That wasn't as much fun as I thought it would be.
未知号♥码
喂
Hello?
我们有麻烦了
We have a problem.
斯图我把你的号♥码拉黑了
Stu, I blocked your number.
我知道我用的是一次性手♥机♥
I know. I have a burner phone.
安德鲁和泽尔达都想回家过圣诞
Andrew and Zelda both want to go home for Christmas,
但是我哥们有点疯
but my boy's kind of losing it here.
所以如果你能让你闺蜜过来解决这问题
So if you could send your girl over here to fix it,
那就太好了
that'd be great.
她是理智的那一方
I mean, she's the rational one.
我不确定
I don't know about that.
反正快点叫她过来
Just get her over here quick.
看上去像圣诞老人吐了我们家一屋
It looks like Santa Claus threw up all over my house.
谢谢谢谢你们能来
Thank you. Thank you for coming.
我知道你们都错过了航♥班♥
I know you both missed your flights,
但是服务器崩溃了
but the servers crashed.
一切似乎都没问题
Everything seems to be fine.
这是圣诞奇迹
It's a Christmas miracle.
听我说既然你们都来了问个问题
Listen, since I've got you both here, quick question.
坐
Sit.
霍华德为了拯救公♥司♥去和那个
Howard saved this company by going on a date
喜欢番茄的白♥痴♥约会了
with that tomato-loving cretin,
但为什么我内心觉得很糟糕
so why do I feel so rotten inside?
我的心脏支架脱落了吗
Did my heart stent fall out?
听起来你是动了感情
It sounds like you're having feelings.
喜欢霍华德吗
For Howard.
不
No.
他是中层管理人员闻起来像沙发
He's middle management. He smells like a couch.
他写《唐顿庄园》粉丝小说他是
He writes "Downton Abbey" Fan fiction. He's --
你的工作老公
Your work husband.
什么不别搞笑了
What? No. Don't be ridiculous.
吉米那个性感火♥辣♥的男人才是
Jimmy, the hot sparkletts guy, my work husband.
是的
Yes, he is.
我圣诞节要给他做薄荷巧克力
I'm making him peppermint bark for Christmas.
不吉米每个月才来一次
No. Jimmy only comes around once a month.
-你整天都和霍华德在一起 -每一天
- You're around Howard all day. - Every day.
如果你和工作同事
If you spend enough time
待在一起足够久
stuck together with someone at work...
你就开始喜欢他们的花衬衫的味道
You start to like the way their Hawaiian shirt smells.
或者他们机器人一般安抚人心的声音