恋爱手册（2014）

A to Z S01E11

Part 2 April 9, 2021, 4:41 p.m.

那我就去就这么决定
Then I'm in, sure. Let's do this!
干得漂亮
Nice move.
今晚7点我家见
I'll see you tonight at 7:00, my place.
这酒太棒了
This wine is amazing.
真的太好了
Oh, it's so good.
我们单独在一起时一切都更加美好了
When we're alone, everything is so much better.
-我知道感觉我们在度假 -是的
- I know. It feels like we're on vacation. - Yeah.
感觉我们在意大利之类的地方
I feel like we're in, like, Italy or something.
是的干杯
Yeah. Salute.
干杯
Salute.
你还知道其他意大利语吗
What other Italian words do you know?
意大利饺子
Tortellini.
再说一些
More.
意大利细面
Spaghetti.
兰博基尼
Lamborghini.
克里斯蒂娜·里奇
Christina Ricci.
-图蒂... -泽尔达
- Tutti-- - Zelda!
怎么
Why?
安德鲁你应该锁门
Andrew, you really shouldn't keep the door unlocked.
这是洛杉矶太危险了
It's Los Angeles. That's dangerous.
你们俩是谁那么有才
Which one of you had the genius idea
让我的约瑟夫和斯图一起去"约会"
to send my Joseph on a man-date with Stu?
糟糕
Oh, no.
约瑟夫的妈妈不会是丑女人吧
Joseph's mom isn't an ugly woman, is she?
什么不是他们现在成为了密友
What? No. They're now apparently besties.
23分钟后
有一天约瑟夫会和我结婚
And one day, Joseph and I are gonna get married,
斯图要给他做伴郎
and Stu is gonna be his best man.
他会发言谈谈是怎么先和我在一起的
He's gonna make a speech about how he was with me first
然后讲出某个奇怪的不合时宜的笑话
and then some weird, inappropriate joke
有关孩子也许是他的... 我的天
about how the baby might actually be his -- Oh, my gosh.
你计划未婚先孕吗
You're planning on being pregnant at your wedding?
难道伴郎不该是我吗是我介绍你们俩的
Wouldn't I be the best man? I introduced both of you.
好极了约瑟夫快到家了好了
Great. Joseph is almost home. Okay.
-我的天 -抱歉
- Oh, my goodness. - I'm sorry.
-爱你 -谢谢你和我们一起吃饭
- Love you. - Thanks for eating with us.
再见注意安全
Bye-bye. Get home safe.
-终于 -我的天
- Finally. - Oh, my god.
好了我们之前在...之前在...
Okay, what we were -- what were we --
今天的比赛太棒了
That was a game right there!
我裤子上有快船队员的汗
I got clipper sweat on my pants.
约瑟夫绝对有一套
And Joseph definitely has a way
能让男人对妈妈的长相感到羞愧
of making men feel bad about their mothers' looks.
他很恶毒
He was vicious.
另外今晚会有雷暴雨
Also, there's gonna be a thunderstorm tonight,
所以我建议跳过一步
so I suggest we skip a step
让我直接和你们一起上♥床♥
and let me just go to bed with you guys.
床上见我去暖床
I'll see you in there. I will make it warm.
越来越失控了
This is getting out of hand.
我们可能再也没时间单独在一起了
We may never spend any time alone together again.
我们不如去海滩睡觉吧
We might as well go sleep on a beach.
我想那不合法
I think that's illegal.
是的而且天黑之后候鸟会来啄你
Yeah. Plus, after dark, the transient's come and tickle you.
什么
What?
这故事下次再说
It's a tale for another time.
等下太疯狂了
Wait. This is crazy.
你为什么晚上不赶斯图走
Why don't you just ask Stu to take off for the evening
这样我们就能单独在一起了
so that we can be alone?
因为我和他相互依存感情特殊
Because I have a weird, codependent relationship,
而且我怕伤他的心
and I'm scared of hurting his feelings.
但听你的
But what you said.
斯图
Hey, Stu.
什么事死党
Yes, best friend?
你觉得今晚看部电影怎么样
Uh, what do you think about seeing a movie tonight?
当然好你想看什么
Sure, yeah. What do you want to see?
我要去趟一元店
Ooh, I got to go down to the dollar store
买♥♥点糖果
so I can get some candy
那样我就能把他们贴在我的大腿上了
so I can tape it to my upper thigh.
其实我想说也许
Actually, I was -- I was thinking maybe,
你自己去看电影
uh, you go see the movie,
我和泽尔达
and Zelda and I would hang out --
留在家里活动下
I don't know -- at home.
好我懂了我是坏人
Fine. I get it. I'm the bad guy.
澄清下
Just to clarify,
你想把我从我付一半房♥租的
you want to kick me out of my own apartment,
公♥寓♥里踢出去
where I pay half the rent.
斯图没人要把你踢出去
Stu, nobody's kicking you out of anything.
我们只是想单独共度一晚
W-we just want our own space for one night.
你根本不用去哪
You don't even have to go anywhere.
如果你想你可以整晚待在自己的房♥里
You can stay in your room all night if you want.
谢谢你大人
Thank you, your majesty.
你知道我在那里不自在
You know I don't feel comfortable in there.
我还是没找到狼蛛
I still haven't found the tarantula.
斯图你能跟我认真点吗
Stu, can you just be real with me for one second?
当然我先说你弄坏了我的慢炖锅
Sure, I will go first. You broke my crock pot.
还有全宇宙里
And also, the only thing you care about
你只关心泽尔达
in this whole universe is Zelda.
真对不起我只想跟我的女朋友
Oh, forgive me if I want to be comfortable
自在地相处一晚上
with my girlfriend for one night.
看到没你证明了我的观点
You see that? You proved my point.
你根本就没提慢炖锅
You didn't even mention the crock pot.
为什么我们要讨论慢炖锅
Why are we talking about a crock pot?
如果你觉得不自在
If you're not comfortable,
不如自己去找个地方凉快去
maybe you should find your own place.
也许我会的
Maybe I will.
-好 -很好
- Good. - Great.
-罢了 -罢了
- Fine. - Fine!
-棒 -好
- Great! - Okay.
你能走开了吗我在等电♥话♥
Could you rush off now? Because I'm expecting a call.
我没在等电♥话♥
I wasn't expecting a call.
光看我你是不会知道的
You wouldn't know it looking at me,
但是我跟男人一直处不来
but I haven't always had the easiest time with men.
他们畏惧我的权力我的自以为是
They're intimidated by my power, by my brashness,
还有我从三年级开始
and by the fact that I've been this tall
就那么高的事实
since the third grade.
这真讨人厌
That's really irritating.
停
Stop.
如果我们要进行女生间谈话
If we're going to have girl talk,
你说话应该更像女生
you need to speak more girl-like.
完全没问题
I can totally do that.
低一个音调
Take it down a notch.
现在怎么样
How's this?
完美
Perfect.
还有你每天这身是什么装扮
And what about this costume that you wear every day?
你是阿米什人吗
Are you amish?
阿米什人以过着简朴的生活而闻名
不是这只是我的标志造型
No. It's my signature look.
真难看你需要改改
It's off-putting, and it needs to end.
关于女生间的谈话一般人怎么做
Now, regarding girl talk, how does one do that?
据我查到的信息我们称对方为"闺蜜"
Well, from what I gather, we call each other "Girlfriend"
而且在另一方说了些傻话之后
and remain supportive even if the other one
我们仍然要表示支持
says something idiotic.
好
Okay.
我让你的前男友迪内希
I had your ex-boyfriend, Dinesh,
让系统崩溃三小时
crash our server for three hours
这样戴恩就不得不到这里来
so Dane would be forced to come here
时刻关注我
and pay attention to me.
这完全疯狂啊
That's straight-up crazy.
闺蜜
Girlfriend.
洛杉矶租♥房♥♥信息
你在找新租♥房♥♥
I see you're looking at new apartments.
正是时候因为我有了个新室友