恋爱手册（2014）

A to Z S01E03

Part 1 April 9, 2021, 4:39 p.m.

安德鲁和塞尔达和许多的新情侣一样
Andrew and Zelda, like a lot of new couples,
大部分时候都挽着手
spent much of their time arm in arm.
塞尔达的朋友史黛菲
To the point that Zelda's friend Stephie
将他们比作花样滑冰选手
compared them to a pair of figure skaters.
谢谢刚刚那真是个让人喜爱的球星
Well, thank you. That was a real crowd pleaser.
对我们甚至从俄♥国♥人手上拿到了高分
Yeah, we even got high marks from the Russians.
对嗨
Yeah. Hi.
嘿
Hey.
就算尽管只是刚刚相遇
And despite just having met,
双方都认为他们都彼此深深了解对方
both felt as if they truly knew each other.
安德鲁安德鲁所以我觉得你们的应用程序
Andrew, Andrew, so, I think your matching app
有点儿像个灾难说实话
is a bit of a disaster, hon,
因为所有冲我而来的
because the kind of men that are coming through for me,
来自壁花网的男人
from Wallflower...
- 呃 - 啊
- Ugh. - Aah!
吓人的长相
Scary-looking...
在监狱工作的
Works in a prison...
在监狱蹲的
Lives in a prison...
- 哦 - 还有查宁塔特姆[知名模特]
- Oh. - And Channing Tatum,
如果这个查宁塔特姆脸被砸烂了的话
if Channing Tatum was smashed in the face.
哦你知道吗
Oh, you know what?
我觉得我应该把你俩撮到一块儿去
I should set you up with this guy
他是我垒球队里一个叫卡尔文的挺不错的男人
on my softball team, Calvin, who's a really awesome guy.
对而且他很可爱
Yes, and he's super cute.
- 他 - 但他没你可爱没你可爱
- He... - But he's not as cute as you. Nope.
不错他姓什么
Great. What's his last name?
迈尔森迈尔森
Myerson. Myerson.
-你在 -这是"露露"
- What are you... - I-it's Lulu.
用来审查前男友的应用程序
Ex-boyfriend review app.
好多人都从谷歌♥开始
A lot of people start with Google,
但我喜欢从露露开始
but I like to lead with Lulu.
为什么要先做调查而不是直接见面
Why lead with anything? Why not just meet him?
嗯对
Yeah, right.
为什么我不在看这些东西时直接给自己下迷♥奸♥药
Why don't I just roofie myself while I'm at it?
谁会在得到对方的资料前见面
Who meets without getting someone's information first?
我们我们是先例
Us. For starters.
真可爱
That's cute.
你知道我在工作的时候都不会说这些
You know, I would never say this at work,
但是有个研究表明
but there is research that suggests
知道对方的事太多
that knowing too much about someone up front
- 实际上不是好事 - 对
- is actually a bad thing. - Yeah.
为什么你不干脆就接受痛苦
Why don't you just, like, embrace the mystery
然后你懂的试试不同的东西呢
and just, you know, try something different?
让我好好考虑交给我吧
Let me think about it. Leave it with me.
但是我会提醒那群人我最后约会的
But I will remind the group that the last person I dated
没审查过的人是他
without vetting them was that.
哦不不不不
Oh, no. No, no, no.
我以为星期四晚上是史黛菲
I thought that Thursday nights were for Stephie
星期五晚上是斯图
and Fridays were for st...
- 对吧啊 - 对对
- Right? Yeah? - They are. They are.
他肯定是把他们搞混了
He must've gotten them mixed up.
这是个问题
This was an issue
因为上一次他们在一起的时候
because the last time they were together,
史黛菲发现史图谎称
Stephie discovered Stu had lied to her
自己是个叫做猫男德斯莫林的知名爵士小号♥手
about being a famous jazz trumpeter
只是为了和她睡觉
named Scatman des Moines just to sleep with her.
也许他们早就过了这个坎儿了
Maybe they're over it.
屋子里的猫男
Scatman is in the house!
我真喜欢当我们还能开这个玩笑的阶段
I love that we're at a point where I can make that joke.
谢谢
Thank you.
嗯
Hmm.
那是白贝雕麦酒吗
Was that the white scrimshaw ale?
嗯真棒
Mmm. That's really lovely.
服务员不好意思
Waitress, excuse me.
能给我让我喝一杯这个吗
Can I get a glass of this for my mouth?
太感谢了
Thank you so much.
安德鲁和塞尔达将会约会
Andrew and Zelda will date
八个月一周一天零一小时
for one months, one weeks, one days, and one hour.
这个电视节目
This television program
会全方位记录他们关系
is the comprehensive account of their relationship...
从头到尾
From a to Z.
就是说你和史黛菲的问题
It's just, this whole thing with you and Stephie
在开始给我和塞尔达制♥造♥问题
is starting to create some issues for Zelda and I.
尤其是现在我们你懂得开始来真的了
Especially now that we're, you know, getting serious.
那你们打算怎么分手
So how are you guys gonna break up?
斯图我求你了
Stu, I'm begging you.
消停一会儿吧
Bury the hatchet.
嘿小伙子们昨晚儿不错啊
Hello, boys. Fun night, huh?
告诉那个泼你啤酒的妹子
Tell that girl who threw a beer on you
她欠我一件新毛衣
that she owes me a new sweater.
在发现他们的老板
After realizing that their boss
昨晚就坐在距离他们三英尺远的地方以后
had been sitting three feet away the night before,
安德鲁和史图绞尽脑汁
Andrew and Stu racked their brains
回忆了他们当时放下的所有狠话
for everything incriminating they could have said.
我想我知道怎么绕过我们的色情屏蔽了
I think I found a way around our porn block.
我把大半时间花在了看窗外的塞尔达
I spend half the day looking out the window at Zelda.
我每天都带咖啡回家
I take home coffee every day.
当我说我有个商业会议的时候
When I say I have a marketing meeting,
我在车里睡觉呢
I'm napping in my car.
我独占了行政部门的洗手间
I deuce in the executive bathroom exclusively.
我们费用化过头了
We are so expensing this.
我们老板就是个小婊砸
Our boss is a total bitch.
令他们惊讶的是老板要说的跟这些一点关系都没有
To their surprise, it was none of these things.
你认为在自然条件下相遇
You believe meeting "In the wild"
在线上约会中是可取的吗
is preferable to online dating?
哦不哦莉迪亚
Uh, no. Uh, Lydia...
做事自♥制♥一点儿
Have a little pride in what you do.
- 好 - 你被逮着了
- Okay. - You got caught.
还有你你马上就会知道我是个怎样的小婊砸
And you, you're gonna find out just what a "Bitch" I can be.
我没有用引号♥
I didn't use air quotes.
我不觉得这是重点
I don't know that that's the point.
霍华德昨天晚上我知道了一个让人厌恶的事实
Last night exposed me to a harsh truth, Howard.
他们在背后议论我
They talk about me behind my back.
你们竟然出去没带我
You guys went out without me?
我想知道他们还说了些什么
I wonder what else they're saying...
可惜查看他们的内网♥管♥理系统是违法的
Too bad it isn't legal to read their IMs.
好吧技术上来说这些电脑都连着壁花网
Well, technically, Wallflower owns all these computers,
所以你可以读取各种信息
so you're entitled to any information on them.
我的天那我刚才干了什么
Dear God, what did I do?
我怎么才能和史黛菲和好
How do I bury the hatchet with Stephie?
女人们都想要什么
What do women want?
船本尼迪克特康伯巴奇[神夏主演] 金子
Boats, Benedict Cumberbatch, gold.
道歉就够了
Just apologize.
带有性暗示封面的书
Books with sexually suggestive covers.
我激活了他们电脑上的摄像头和麦克风
I activated their computers' cameras and Mikes.
那洗手间呢
What about the bathroom?
- 不 - 那会很有用的
- No. - This will do nicely.
胖乎的留着胡须平易近人的家伙
Chubby, approachable dudes with beards.
霍华德霍华德所以她是想
Howard, Howard, so, she has full access
要所有电脑的存取数据
to all company-owned computers?
我想估计是
I'm afraid so.
最好抹除咱俩的电脑痕迹
Better wipe our footprint.
请原谅我
Pardon me.
史黛菲
Stephie?
- 嗨 - 嗨
- Hi. - Hi.
好吧我屈服了
Okay, I caved.
你说什么呢
What are you talking about?
嗯我刚才采纳了你的意见
Well, I was taking your advice
没有用"露露"查卡尔文你懂的安德鲁的朋友
and didn't Lulu Calvin... you know, Andrew's friend.
对呀我知道
Oh, yeah. I know.