我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）

You're the Worst S05E13

Part 1 Oct. 14, 2020, 4:58 p.m.

You! Clean that window.
你把窗户擦干净
Yes, sir.
是先生
Pistachios? This isn't a baseball game.
开心果这又不是棒球比赛
No, you want to present the plate... aioli smear at 12:00,
不这道菜十二点再淋上蒜泥蛋黄酱
and for God's sake, call them servilletes.
还有用"餐巾"这个词
All good. Smashing. No notes.
都挺好完美
Atencion!
全体注意
Hello, help.
各位
In my history as a wedding guest,
我参加过很多婚礼
I have successfully heckled
挑过它们不少毛病
so many ceremonies, people are gonna be gunning for us today.
今天我的客人们必定也会吹毛求疵
Thus, our nuptials must be absolutely flawless.
所以我们的婚礼必须完美无缺
So, in the tradition of punching a bully
按照传统
to demonstrate one's gravitas,
杀鸡儆猴彰显权威
you, ma'am, are sacked.
你女士被开除了
You have been made redundant. You are proper on the dole now.
收拾铺盖走人吧你可以去领失业救济金了
Let that be a warning to you all.
希望大家以此为戒
Oh, and have fun!
好好干
Jimmy! Blessed day.
吉米今天是个好日子
Really, just jacked to shit. I love you so goddamn much.
我超兴奋的我爱死你了
Anyfarts, what are you doing out here?
不扯了你在这干嘛呢
Editing my vows, but now I've pulled a thread.
修改誓言但这就跟扯线头一样
It's all starting to unravel.
动了一处其他的都得重写
I did that to a sweater once. You hear Gretchen's vows yet?
我也这样扯过毛衣你听过格雷琴的誓言了吗
No, but I cannot wait.
还没有但我很期待
You know they're gonna be so emo.
肯定很动情
I hope she cries so hard she vomits.
我超想看她爆哭的
Oh, shit! Hey, welcome, guys.
糟了欢迎欢迎
We can't see each other.
我们还不能见面
Gretchen.
格雷琴
Missed you.
好想你
Huh, glad they're on good terms again.
看样子他们和好了真好
Hurry, hand it over.
快拿着
What's he handing her?
他在给她什么东西
I don't know.
不知道
That was weird. Anyjunk, what's up?
怪怪的不管了你找我啥事
Why'd you need me early? Last-minute titty bar?
为什么要我早点到去大奶吧嗨最后一刻吗
No. You're best man now.
不你现在是我的伴郎了
What?
什么
What?!
不是吧
No. No.
我没听错吧
Oh, my God!
老天爷
Well, well, well.
好了好了
Here comes my big apology.
我向你郑重道歉
Vernon, you're no longer best man.
弗南你不是我的伴郎了
Oh, okay. That's...that's fine. I'm fine.
好吧没关系我没事
All right. Let's have it. Let's have what?
开始吧开始什么
The begging, the groveling.
乞求讨好
Perhaps one of your signature pancakes
做一份你的拿手松饼
with "Sorry" Spelled out in frosting.
上面用糖霜写着"对不起"
Oh, no, I meant what I said.
不可能我说的都是真心话
I just came to bring you your rings.
我只是来给你送婚戒的
Oh, shit. Right, yeah.
我去差点忘了
I was, uh, about to text you for these.
我本来想跟你发短♥信♥说这事来着
Katie Overholser was not the kind
凯蒂·奥弗霍尔泽是很显眼的女孩
of girl you could ignore, so when she went missing...
所以当她失踪的时候...
What are you doing?
你在干什么
Waiting here in case you change your mind
等着你改变主意
and need a quick getaway.
迅速载你离开
And it was that swiftness, with which the search for Katie began,
对凯蒂的搜救行动迅速展开
that would, four days later, lead to her death.
但也因此在四天后导致了她的死亡
You're best man again.
你又是我的伴郎了
What a roller coaster!
真刺♥激♥
It tastes so much sweeter now that it was taken away.
失而复得的感觉真好
Your first order of business: get rid of Edgar.
你的第一项任务赶走埃德加
Hey, Paul.
嗨保罗
Lindsay. Perhaps you can help me.
琳德西帮我个忙
It says I'm assigned to Table 13,
我被安排在十三号♥桌
but I don't see any other guests assigned to that table.
但我看那桌没有其他的客人
Cool mystery.
可能是神秘彩蛋吧
Hey, it was really nice talking on the phone last night.
昨晚在电♥话♥里跟你聊得很开心
It was, wasn't it?
我也觉得
I'm glad to see I'm not the only one here without a date.
幸好我不是这里唯一没有伴侣的人
Oh, I'm actually... Here you go, lover.
其实我... 给亲爱的
Thank you. Keep the change.
谢谢留着吧
Seriously? Whoa.
真的吗
No one ever tips at the Froyo store.
从来没人给过冻酸奶店小费
I've thought about putting a cup out,
我想过拿个杯子出来放小费
but it just feels desperate, you know?
但感觉那样很凄惨你懂吧
You brought the Froyo guy? I didn't want to come alone.
你找了个卖♥♥酸奶的我不想孤零零的
Anyway, I better get this Bride Fuel to Gretchen.
我得先把这拿去给格雷琴垫饥
See you boys later.
等会儿见
Hey, got any errands you need done for tips?
需要跑腿吗完事打发点小费
Actually, would you see what you can find out about Table 13?
那帮我查查十三号♥桌什么情况
Will do, boss.
遵命老板
Okay, it's on.
我穿好了
Hold on!
等等
You're going to want this moment captured forever.
这一幕得录下来永久留念
Okay, come out. Let's see it.
好了出来吧看看如何
It's so beautiful.
太美了
Gretchen.
格雷琴
I can't believe this day is finally here.
不敢相信这一天终于来了
Oh, if you make me cry, I'll kill you.
你要是把我弄哭了我就杀了你
I mean, think about all the men it took to get here.
想想一路走来遇上过的男人
All right. So, so many men.
行吧好多好多男人
So many men... that I wrote a song about it.
多到... 我还写了首歌♥
It's called
叫做
"The Very Last Dick."
"最后一支箫"
No.
打住
I love you, though.
我爱你
Well, I love you, too. Just a few lines?
我也爱你就听几句
I rhyme Horatio and fel...
我还把霍拉旭写进去了...
No, no, no, no. Shh.
别说了嘘
It's Jimmy. Jimmy.
吉米出来了吉米
There they are.
他们在那里
Excuse me.
借过
Yeah, I'd still do him.
我还是会上他
Nice suit.
西装不错
Hey, how's it going? Yeah, excuse me.
最近怎么样借过
Groom advice. Yeah, thank you.
新郎建议谢谢
Advice for the groom, excuse me.
有话对新郎说让一让
Just know that she's never gonna change.
记住女人是不可能改变的
Lindsay sure didn't.
反正琳德西没变
Well, until she wanted to plow other guys in front of me.
直到她冒出在我面前啪其他男人的想法
That was a rather seismic shift.
打那时起一切都变了
Yeah, cuck, bye. But, hey, I have earthquake insurance.
拜拜绿帽王我有地震险
Jimmy, never go back.
吉米永不回头
Oh, wait, that's the tagline for Jack Reacher 2.
这是"侠探杰克2"的标题
Did you know that Tom Cruise is actually six-foot-one?
你知道汤姆·克鲁斯其实有一米八五吗
If you want to add that to your vows, Jimmy, go ahead.
你可以把这个加在你的婚礼誓言里吉米
What?
啥玩意
I've been reading about you in the trades.
我一直在关注你
Shame about your movie.
你那部电影太烂了
But you'll sell another one.
但你可以再卖♥♥一部
Or get staffed.
或者找找帮手
You have to, because you're marrying my daughter,
你必须这么做你既然要娶我女儿
which means you're responsible for her now, forever.
就得对她的现在和未来负责
Yeah, unlike you. Cheers, bye-bye.
我和你不一样玩开心拜拜
Oh, this is great, Jimmy.
太棒了吉米
All weddings should open with alcohol times.
所有婚礼都应该以酒开场