我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst S05E10
Part 2
Oct. 14, 2020, 4:58 p.m.
Hey! You have a face I've seen.
那谁 你看着很眼熟
Can I get a ride back to the office?
能载我回办公室吗
Um, sure.
当然
As long as you keep that shit off my leather seats.
只要你别把那玩意弄在我的真皮座椅上
Oh, no. Don't worry. This is all going in my mouth.
别担心 我会吃光的
And...
好了...
done with the adult breastfeeding scene.
"母乳诱惑"剧情完成
Plus, I made a list of some great pub names.
还有 我想了一串酷炫的酒吧名
Ready? The Erstwhile Butler.
准备好了吗 "昔日管家"
First of all, I don't have the mental bandwidth to stay attuned
第一 我对格雷琴微小的情绪变化
to Gretchen's every little mood shift.
没那么敏感
Fine. Hogwash and Smeagan. That might be my favorite...
好吧 "低级异类" 这可能是我最喜欢的
Secondly, it is precisely because Gretchen and I
第二 正因为我和格雷琴各自独♥立♥
lead separate lives that we're such a successful couple.
我们才成为了如此完美的一对
The Blunt Governess.
"直率保姆"
The Exchequer's Folly.
"财政蠢臣"
If we were to share every iota of our lives with each other,
如果我们对彼此太过了解
there would be nothing to talk about.
那会无话可聊的
The Fox and Ferret. The Bullfrog's Ale-Wife.
"狐狸和雪貂" "牛蛙的啤酒妻"
Counter-instinctually, it is separation that draws us closer.
不同于本能 距离才会产生美
Farthings.
"法辛斯"
And that keen understanding of the human psyche
我能写出价值六位数的剧本
is exactly why I am the one making mid-to-high six figures
就是因为我对人类心理
for a screenplay while you're here
有非常精准的理解
stuck pitching me pub names.
而你还在执着于酒吧名
Where do you think you're going?
你要去哪儿
To go for a walk and find somewhere quiet
散散步 然后找个安静的地方
to write the V-Day scene.
写情人节剧情
Maybe the park. But I was talking to you.
公园就挺好 但我在跟你说话
And I didn't like the way you were talking to me,
我不喜欢你的说话方式
so I am calmly removing myself from the situation.
所以我要给自己换个环境
Fine.
可以
We'll go write in the park.
我们到公园去写作
It'll give me a chance to break in my shoes.
我正好跟新鞋磨合磨合
Edgar, I said fine.
埃德加 我说可以
Wait for me.
等等我
Which is why I'm wearing my smart girl outfit,
所以我才会穿精英女孩装
even though my friend said it was a bad idea.
尽管我姐妹说这是个馊主意
But what does she know? She and Jimmy are exactly the same.
她懂什么 她和吉米一模一样
Most people have to change a little
很多人必须做点改变
to make sure someone likes them.
才会得到别人的青睐
And anyway, who knows? I could read books.
管那么多呢 我可以看看书
Whoa! No one's here!
一个人也没有
Which means the bosses aren't here.
说明老板不在
Well, I'm here, and I need to get to work.
我在这里 我要干活了
Let's do something fun like rolly chair races!
嗨个够 来个转椅比赛
Oh! Or leave fake love notes in people's offices.
或者在办公桌上放假情书
Really fuck some people up.
糟糟别人的心
Lindsay, you're very amusing,
琳德西 你很有趣
but I truly need to get to work.
但我真得工作了
I know! Let's raid the fridge for leftovers.
知道了 我们去偷冰箱里的剩菜吧
Who brings the best stuff?
谁的东西最好吃
Well, always go Colin first. Yeah.
科林肯定排第一 这样
Then Rebecca, Torshiro,
然后是瑞贝卡 俊郎
that weird guy from Accounting with the thing on his neck.
那个脖子上长东西的会计部怪胎
Ooh, yeah. Gross.
真恶心
Don't be jealous
# 别眼红 #
Don't be jealous, don't be jealous
# 别嫉妒 #
One, two, Nock Nock's coming for you
# 一 二 闹闹来也 #
Three, four, Nock Nock's at your door
# 三 四 闹闹候门外 #
Five, six, now you got syphilis
# 五 六 梅毒上你身 #
Seven, eight, bitch, it's way too late!
# 七 八 碧池 为时已晚 #
This is mayhem
# 这是场混战 #
Nock Nock coming straight from your a.M., I'm the illest
# 闹闹正面刚你 王者风范 #
I got illness, I'm the trillest
# 活出真我 #
I write thrillers
# 谱最嗨的歌♥ #
Did your boy bring it or what?
你的人唱得怎么样了
You absolutely brought it.
你太有水平了
I can't believe you were that good.
没想到你那么强
Me neither.
我自己也没想到
I guess working with my idols made me step up.
可能是和偶像共事让我进步了吧
Usually it's just me in the shower
平时都是我边洗澡边唱
and Charles on the toilet running the beat.
查尔斯在马桶上打拍子
Oh, dang, I forgot to remind the sitter
糟了 我忘了提醒保姆
to crush up Charles' medication in his Tuna Helper.
把查尔斯的药捣碎后拌进通心粉
I'll let you get to that.
你先忙吧
Hey, Gretchen.
格雷琴
Thanks for believing in me.
谢谢你信任我
Let me explain something to you.
我给你解释一下
To primitive people, the unknown, like,
对原始人来说 未知事物
"Will the sun come up tomorrow?"
比如"明天太阳会升起吗"
and "Why did a woolly mammoth just crush my Uncle Thag?"
或者"为什么长毛象把赛格叔叔踩死了"
was so unfathomably terrifying
让他们恐惧无比
that they would make up myths to give a false order
所以他们才会编神话故事
to what seemed like a capricious, entropic world.
给变幻莫测的世界编造虚假的秩序
And this same type of magical thinking
有些夫妻什么事都要一起做的原因
is why certain couples do everything together.
就和这种魔幻思路如出一辙
Tammy and Bernard both go to his dermatologist appointment
塔米和伯纳德一起去看皮肤科医生
because they think the combined force of their love and devotion
是因为他们觉得爱与忠诚的力量
will keep it from being melanoma,
可以防止得黑色素瘤
but it won't.
但事实并非如此
Do you know what will keep it from being,
你知道什么才可以防止
metaphorically speaking, melanoma?
黑色素瘤这类东西吗
Being fucking interesting.
做个有趣的人
Remaining interesting as individuals
保持有趣的灵魂
will stave off the malignancy that is romantic complacency,
才能避免自以为是的浪漫
not thirstily doing everything together,
而不是固执地黏在一起
like Charles and Camilla
像查尔斯王子和卡米拉
or the Property Brothers.
或者装♥修♥兄弟那样
You can admit you're scared to get married.
你大可承认你害怕婚姻
What? I'm not scared. It's okay, Jimmy.
什么 我才不害怕 没关系 吉米
I no longer look up to you, so you have no height from which to fall.
我无需仰望你了 所以你不用担心跌下神坛
Ah, I understand what's happening.
我明白你的用意了
You're pushing me away before I get married
你要提前和我保持距离
and you're left out in the cold.
免得我婚后冷落你
I didn't ask for this to happen; it just did.
我无需刻意 这是自然而然的
Like when Neo saw the Matrix, I now see you as my equal.
就像尼奥和矩阵一样 我现在和你也是平等的
Well, stop it.
别说了
See? This illustrates my point perfectly.
看见没 这就能把我的观点展示得很透彻
This is something that Gretchen
格雷琴要是看到了
would absolutely lose her shit over.
绝对会发疯
But if she were here, experiencing what I experience,
如果她在这里 跟我一起感受
what would there be to say?
我们会说些什么
"Ooh, that was cool." "I agree."
"好酷" "是啊"
"Should we just give up and die now?"
"我们放弃吧 死了算了"
"Sure."
"好的"
That was cool. Yeah, it really was.
好酷 的确
And if you were together, you could've both experienced it.
她在的话 你们就拥有共同的经历了
It would become part of the fabric of your relationship
它将成为你们关系的一部分
as opposed to something that just happened to you.
而不是你刚才的个人经历
Let's keep walking. I need to break in my shoes.
继续走吧 我得让鞋子合脚
Bitch, you making me dizzy! Just go ahead and tell us
女人 你把我搞晕了
what you fucked up!
有话直说
I was trying to think of a profesh way to say this,
我本来想找个更恰当的说辞
but, uh... Ooh, you guys suck ass on the track.
但是... 你们的曲子太烂了
No, that is unfair.
不 这么说不公平
You guys are very okay on it,
你们的曲子还行
but Nock Nock's verse is so good,
但闹闹的词更胜一筹
he makes you guys sound like you suck ass.
相比之下 你们的歌♥听着就很逊
Don't even start. I didn't say anything.
你少来 我啥也没说
我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst
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