我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）

You're the Worst S05E05

Part 1 Oct. 14, 2020, 4:55 p.m.

今天办理入住吗
Checking in with us today?
好的卡特勒小姐
Okay, Miss Cutler.
您将入住极品套房♥
Looks like we have you in one of our signature suites.
房♥卡要一张还是两张
Will you be needing one room key or two?
一张就行
One's fine.
好了
All right.
这些都是很火的DJ
Are any of these popular disc jockeys
你看看有没有合适的
worthy of playing our wedding?
"公爵夫人"
Uh, DJ Duchess?
"红颜知己" "布莱恩"
DJ Squirt-Squirt? Brian?
有谁在意吗
Who cares?
给手♥机♥套上金色假发和纪梵希衬衫
We could put a blonde wig and a Givenchy shirt on an iPhone
没人看得出区别
and no one would know the difference.
DJ是我们婚礼的
The DJ will be the first person
第一张招牌
to introduce us as a married couple.
难道你想把这个重任
Do you really want to hand that responsibility
交给"古怪暴徒"吗
to DJ Thugtastic?
"闹闹" "闹闹"是谁
Nock Nock? Who's Nock Nock?
他的观看量居然有六百万
And how does he have six million views?
# 绕着闹钟嗑嗨 #
Ring around the clocky
# 兜里装满镇痛剂 #
Pocket full of Oxy
# 妈咪也管不住我 #
Mom could never stop me
我觉得这是糟粕
I think this is trash?
但这是"普通糟粕"
But is it "Garbage trash" Or, like,
还是"殿堂级糟粕"
"Trash that ends up in a museum" Trash?
不就是单纯的垃圾
No, no. It's rubbish.
- 是吗 - 是的
- Right? - Right.
他不过就是个在阿比快餐店后面
I mean, he's just some Ox'd-out redneck
玩说唱的乡巴佬罢了
rapping behind an Arby's or something.
- 再放一遍 - 放
- Again? - Yes, please.
# 绕着闹钟嗑嗨 #
# Ring around the clocky #
今天早上我们效率爆表
Well, we have had a shockingly productive morning.
我们已经预订了蛋糕
We have booked our cake tasting,
敲定了酒品
finalized booze selections,
低价搞定了牧师
low-balled our officiant, and tonight,
- 今晚还约了花艺师 - 还有花艺师
- we have an appointment with our florist. - We got a florist?
我们这婚礼也太高大上了
This wedding's about to be classy as fuck.
写作时间到
Right. Time to head off to write.
灵感不等人
I mustn't keep the muse waiting.
快去吧别被人占了插座附近的桌子
Yes, hurry up. Wouldn't want to lose the table near the outlet.
- 这话什么意思 - 拜托
- What's that supposed to mean? - Come on.
你是咖啡店的常客
You're a reg at a coffee shop
用固定的插座在固定的时间写作
with a reg outlet and reg writing hours.
而且负责这些婚礼的破事
Plus, running point on all this wedding shit...
让你突然变成了成熟稳重的男人
You've just become this, like, stable-ass dude all a sudden.
成熟稳重
Stable?
是啊我一直觉得作家的全部要义
Yeah, I always thought the whole point of being a writer
是在酒吧烂醉如泥
was so that you could drink all night in dive bars
同对手约架然后英年早逝
and challenge other writers to fist fights and die hella early.
但... 你是个例外吉米
But... not you, Jimmy.
你是个VGB
You, sir, are a VGB:
- 极品乖乖仔 - 我才不是...
- A very good boy. - I'm not a...
我可不是什么乖乖仔
I am the opposite of a good boy.
最近我是取得了一些显著成就
I may have experienced a marked level of success
但这并不会改变一个事实
as of late, but that doesn't change the fact
那就是吉米·希瓦·奥瓦利
that Jimmy Shive-Overly
自始至终都是
is and will always be, unassailably,
毋庸置疑的不良少年
without question, a bad, bad boy.
说出一件证明你是不良少年的事
Name one thing that makes you a bad boy.
我是重度恋足癖
I have a raging foot fetish.
恋足癖算什么不良嗜好
Foot fetishes are the applesauce of fetishes.
不良少年的癖好诸如
Bad boy fetishes are like
只有你的老二着火了你才会硬
you can only get turned on if your dick's on fire.
你还在这里干嘛你的插座要被抢了
What are you still doing here? You're gonna lose your outlet.
吉米觉得他是个不良少年
Jimmy thinks he's a bad boy.
埃德加有什么资格笑我
What... what gives Edgar the right to weigh in on this?
吉米埃德加杀过人
Jimmy, Edgar has killed people.
还有什么比这更坏
What is more bad boy than that?
没事啦
Oh. It's good.
人人都明白坏男孩嫁不得
Everyone knows you don't marry the bad boy.
你可以和他打炮等他哪天被抓
You bang him until he gets caught knocking over
就因为他赌博输了砸了文身店
a tattoo shop he lost in a dice game.
但嫁给他想都别想
But marry him? No way.
所以我才会嫁给你啊
That is what I have you for.
擦了防晒霜吗
Is that sunblock?
乖仔
Good boy.
我爱上的人是奇葩第五季第五集
是黄芥酱的声音
That was the mustard.
不是我的屁
Not my butt.
你可以边开会边吃格雷琴
You can eat in the meeting, Gretchen.
通常人们不会在这种场合吃东西
I mean, usually people don't eat at these things,
但你随意好了
but, do you. All right,
是时候给我介绍新客户了
time to pitch me new clients.
开始吧
Go.
今天还是打算写二十八页吗吉米
Still on pace for 28 pages today, Jimmy?
不是其实
No, actually.
我今天是即兴发挥
I'm just winging it today.
谁会在乎一天写几页的目标
Who cares about page goals?
不是你吗
You, bruh?
如果你没达成每日目标
You asked me to "Shame you mightily"
你就让我"狠狠羞辱你" 还好吗兄弟
if you don't make your page goal every day. You good, fam?
我精神抖擞兄弟
Yeah, I'm completely good, fam.
只是我那未婚妻
Oh, it's just that my fiancée
说我是个乖乖仔
accused me of being a good boy.
荒谬
Preposterous.
这是不含咖♥啡♥因♥的吧
That is decaf, right?
我只是不想一下午都神经紧张
Just... I don't want the afternoon jitters.
我去趟厕所能帮我看下东西吗
Mind watching my stuff while I hit the bathroom?
谢谢
Thanks.
他的音乐很棒
His music is fantastic.
他的品牌前景大好
His brand is ripe for developing.
流量足以说明一切
And his numbers speak for themselves.
我几年前见过蛮力小弟
When I saw Young Bludgeon a few years ago,
我觉得他有才华但像小乌兹韦尔的翻版
I felt he was talented, but derivative of Lil Uzi Vert,
美国说唱新星
换句话说我毫无兴趣
which is to say I am not interested in this at all,
你也不该有
and neither should you be.
谢谢你浪费了宝贵的时间莎娜
Thanks for that complete waste of time, Shayna.
格雷琴
Gretchen.
我就给你推荐两个字
Well, two words for you.
其实是一个字说两遍
Actually, one word, twice.
也不是你想的那个词
Also, not spelled the way you'd think.
叫闹...
Anyway, Nock...
闹[音同"敲门
Nock.
谁来了
Who's there?
没错闹闹来了
Yes, exactly. Nock Nock is there.
闹闹是贫民窟歌♥手
Nock Nock is a trailer park rapper
他只唱毒品和他老娘还有舔逼
who only raps about drugs and his mom. And eating pussy.
- 不错的新秀 - 放屏幕上看看
- Very fresh talent. - Pull him up on the screen.
不急
Oh, we can do that later.
有人听说过他吗
Anybody heard of him?
不如今天大家都去了解下闹闹
how 'bout we all get to know Nock Nock today?
所有人今天
All of us? Today?
每个视频都要看每首歌♥都得听
Watch every video, listen to every song.
研究他的网络形象
Comb through his online presence to see
看看你介绍的人否值得我们花时间
if you brought us someone who's worth our time.
罗尼是大力支持你晋升的
Rony really vouched for you on this promotion,
我倒想看看他的眼光
so I am looking forward to seeing what the hype is about.
散会
Meeting's done.
你听到了吗
Did you hear that?
没有你知道我想听什么吗
No. You know what else I don't hear?