我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst S05E05
Part 3
Oct. 14, 2020, 4:55 p.m.
帮我和马桶道个别
Say bye to Toilet for me.
坐下
Sit.
天啊 你让我想起了我自己
God, you remind me so much of me.
是真的 我当年也是个
It's true. I was just
喜欢睡音乐家的富家女
some rich girl who liked to fuck musicians.
- 真的 - 真的
- Really? - Yes.
我当时也没有认真工作
I didn't take this job seriously, either.
直到有一天我醒来
Until one day I woke up and decided I wanted
决定想要成为有一技之长的人
to be good at something other than
而不是一无所成
avoiding being good at anything.
我只会假装很擅长
The only thing I'm good at is faking it.
我理解你想说服自己
I get that you need to think that's true,
但我想让你知道
but I have news for you.
在你没有用心的时候 格雷琴
When you weren't looking, Gretchen,
你就已经很棒了
you actually became good.
你能想象自己真的努力以后
Can you imagine how unstoppable you would be
有多势不可挡吗
if you actually tried?
是因为妈妈
Bad mom, huh?
算你走运
You're lucky.
晚上好 花艺师
Hello, florist.
请进 这样我就能挑桌花了...
Please, enter so that I may select centerpieces...
如果有的话 我要挑个爷们点的
A manly endeavor if ever there was one.
有没有更粗狂点的
Do you have anything a bit more dangerous and badass?
没有 这里面挑一个吧
No. Pick one of these.
你一秒前才气冲冲地把它们
You only just plunked them annoyedly on the table
摔到桌子上
a second ago.
雏菊是小学生的玩意
Well, daisies are for schoolchildren.
多肉适合弱不禁风的网红女孩
Succulents are for anorexic Instagram girls.
这是一盆树枝吗
Is that just a bowl of sticks?
这些倒是挺与众不同
Hmm. These are really quite different, aren't they?
一盆是白色绣球花和白色马蹄莲
One is white hydrangeas and white calla lilies.
另一盆只有白色绣球花
The other is all white hydrangeas.
相差无几 但意味深长
Well, the subtle difference speaks volumes.
你能快点吗 我还有别的事
Can you hurry? I have somewhere to be.
好吧
Okay, yep. Um...
- 那就绣球花和马蹄莲的这个 - 好的
- well, hydrangeas and calla lilies it is. - Great.
这是定金
That's the deposit amount,
在这里签字 然后付钱
and I need a sig there and the check.
然后我就能赶快走了
Then I can get the hell out of here.
你真不能和你的顾客这么说话
You really shouldn't talk to your customers this way.
你真想和我讨论态度问题
You seriously want to argue about my attitude,
还是你想告诉你的未婚妻
or do you want to tell your fiancée
你已经把这些都替她办了
that you got this done for her?
这你就不知道了
Ha! Joke's on you. My fiancée
我未婚妻一点不在乎这个
doesn't give a shit about this.
抱歉
Sorry.
多数要结婚的人
Most wedding people
都是彻头彻尾的混♥蛋♥
are total assholes.
是我过度防备了
I get pre-defensive.
过度防备是我的正常状态
Pre-defensive is my natural state.
所以 你着急去哪
What are you so late for, anyway?
去看场演出
Going to a show.
什么类型的演出
What kind of show?
# 我要把你打趴下 #
I'm gonna hunt you down
# 永远随心所欲 #
And always get my way
# 我要把你打趴下 #
I'm gonna hunt you down
# 让你付出代价 #
I'm gonna make you pay
# 来吧 #
So go ahead
# 来把我关起来 #
Go ahead and lock me up
# 把我关起来 #
Lock me up
# 我想偷走你的钥匙 #
I want to take your keys
# 我要开走你的车 #
And now I'm gonna drive your car
# 我要远走高飞 #
I'm gonna take this way too far.
那么...
So...
你说什么
What was that?
- 我说什么 - 你说话了
- What was what? - You said something.
我... 我什么都没说 你说的
Oh, I... I... I didn't say anything. You did.
好吧 算了
Oh. Okay. Never mind.
这里上菜好慢啊
This food is taking forever.
是不是特别慢
Isn't it taking forever?
我们还没点菜
Uh, we haven't ordered yet.
你♥他♥妈♥在逗我吗
Are you fucking kidding me?
我是说...
I mean...
有趣 我以为点过了呢
funny, I thought we had.
健身房♥工作怎么样
How's the gym?
我已经辞职一年多了
I haven't worked there for over a year.
真的吗
Really?
我只是...
I'm just...
- 我要去个洗手间 - 好的 没问题
- I'm gonna hit the men's room. - Okay, cool. Cool.
我们还是脱♥光♥了自在点
We're so good with our clothes off.
- 这是为什么 - 我不知道
- What happened? - I don't know.
你值得找寻真爱 琳德西
You deserve to find love, Lindsay.
如果我不尽快找个人 我会孤独终老的
If I don't find someone soon, I'm gonna end up alone.
类似"罗杰斯先生祈求孩子"
Like, "Mr. Rogers begging children"
"做他的邻居"那种孤独
"To be his neighbor" Alone.
出自一档美国电视节目"罗杰斯先生的左邻右舍"
我想吉米和格雷琴快结婚的事
I guess having Jimmy and Gretchen
吓到我了
about to tie the knot is freaking me out.
也许我们做炮♥友♥
You know, maybe us hooking up
影响你找寻真爱了
has held you back from finding it.
尽管我不想舍弃性生活质量
As much as I'd hate to give up quality D,
我需要在心里为爱腾点地方
I need to create space for love in my heart.
还有我的阴♥道♥
And my puss.
我也希望你能这样
And I want that for you.
活不错 伙计
Great sex, bud.
够淫♥荡♥
Real horny.
该死 那辆是我叫的
Crap, that was mine.
谢谢
Thank you.
那么 我们来聊聊闹闹
So, let's talk Nock Nock.
我们让他下周来谈签约的事
We're flying him in for a signing meeting next week.
- 等等 可大家都讨厌他 - 但你喜欢他
- Wait, but everyone hated him. - But you liked him.
我看他的视频上瘾 并不意味着我喜欢他
I couldn't stop watching him. That doesn't mean I liked him.
你慌神的时候想到了他
In a moment of panic, you pulled him out of your brain.
干这行 我总是跟着直觉走
I'll go with instinct every time in this business.
我一定会搞砸的
I am definitely gonna screw this up.
别说这话 老天
Well, don't tell me that. Jesus.
我们交过心了
We had our little heart-to-heart.
关系略有进展 对吗
We experienced some growth, right?
我把宝押你身上了
I'm invested in you now.
闹闹归你了 姑娘
Nock Nock is all you, baby girl.
别搞砸了
Don't fuck this up.
我不会的
I won't.
太厉害了
That was crazy. How the hell
你是怎么闯过那群壮汉的
did you survive that body slam?
真是... 难以置信
I feel... incredible!
这种剑拔弩张 群情鼎沸
The rage. The electricity.
这种把全部身心
The devotion of your entire physical being
奉献给同一个目标
to the communal goal of feeding
而卷入无穷的暴♥力♥漩涡
an endless vortex of violence is...
是我这辈子做过的
the most asinine thing
最愚蠢的事
that I have ever done in my life.
想想我居然还浪费时间思考
To think that I wasted even a millisecond worrying about
自己是不是所谓的"不良少年"
whether I'm a quote-unquote "Bad boy"
谁知不良如此廉价
When being bad is so cheap.
这不过是给一事无成的蠢人
It's an empty goal for the stupid
定下的无意义目标
that achieves nothing substantive.
而我的远见
Whereas my predictability
已让我拥有了喜欢的生活
has afforded me a life that I love,
一个完美的未婚妻
an incredible fiancée who's the reason
是她让我茅塞顿开
that I'm having this epiphany in the first place.
也许不良少年的终极目标
我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst
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