我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst S05E04
Part 2
Oct. 14, 2020, 4:55 p.m.
Oh. Thank God you believed me.
我只想找个请假的借口 因为昨天
I just need an excuse to get out of work because yesterday
保罗·F·汤普金斯让我喝了两升碗豆汤
Paul F. Tompkins made me drink two liters of split pea soup.
但还是只能听命
But also, geez, loud and clear.
埃德加 我刚刚买♥♥了早餐
Edgar. I was just picking up breakfast.
希望你喜欢可颂甜甜圈
I hope you like cronuts.
哦 想起来了 你不喜欢
Oh. That's right, you don't.
不过你会吃一点吧
Maybe you'll have a few anyway?
我正想给你打电♥话♥呢
Oh, that's actually what I was calling about.
我的奶奶
It's... my... grandma.
她病得很重
She's really sick.
我们不知道她还能活多久
We-we don't know how much longer she has.
所以我没法去上班
So, I can't come in to work.
天哪 真没想到
Oh, my gosh, I had no idea.
你需要休多久都行
Take as much time as you need.
谢谢你
Oh, thank you.
如果有需要 随时联♥系♥
Please. And let us know if there's anything we can do.
我会的
I will.
他看起来像个怪物
Well, he seems like a monster.
天啊 也许是我太敏感了
Gosh, maybe I've just been too sensitive.
精彩的烟火表演也能让你流泪
I mean, a good fireworks display does make you cry.
可能是吧
So, yeah, probably.
你来干嘛
Ugh, what's wrong with you?
- 你看到弗南了吗 - 我不想看他
- Have you seen Vernon? - I try not to.
吉米 我好担心他
Oh, Jimmy. I'm so worried about him.
他的行医执照被吊销
With the embarrassment of his medical license
失去了房♥子
being suspended and losing the house,
更别提塔卢拉的视力越来越差
not to mention Tallulah's eye really going downhill,
他是一团乱
he's a wreck.
他今早走的时候没带手♥机♥和钱包 吉米
He left this morning without his phone or his wallet, Jimmy.
贝卡 相信我 弗南不会蠢到去自杀的
Becca, trust me. Vernon is far, far too stupid to be suicidal.
真的吗 希望你是对的
Really? I hope you're right.
我能洗个澡吗 琳德西家断水了
Could I take a shower? Lindsay's water got shut off.
两分钟 洗干净就好了
Two minutes, but purely for hygiene.
不许吞云吐雾的
No sighing in relief and no steam.
吉米 像过去一样蹂躏我
Debase me, Jimmy, like old times.
我在人生低谷
I'm at rock bottom.
让我的身体有点实感吧
Use my body so that I might feel something.
虽然我觉得你挺适合这个
Uh, while I do find Alcoholic Housewife Cosette
悲惨的醉酒主妇形象
to be a good look for you,
我还是要拒绝你
I'm gonna have to issue a hard pass.
你就抱抱我吧
Please, just hold me, then.
天啊 女人
Ah. Jesus, woman.
别弄脏了亚麻床单
Let's not snot up the linens now.
抓住你了
Gotcha.
保罗说你发财了
Paul told me you're loaded.
你要是不让我分一杯羹
And if you don't slice me off a hunk of that cheddar,
我就直接把这张照片发给你的宝贝未婚妻
then this photo goes straight to your precious little fiancee.
投降吧 蠢货
Checkmate, asswipe.
这就是你的把戏吗
That's your big play?
拜托 她只会笑出声
Please, she'd think it's hilarious.
我会发的 我发誓
I'll do it! I swear I will!
相反 一个好把戏
By contrast, a good play would be,
刚在我脑子里成型
just off the top of my head,
如果你不付我五百美金...
my declaration that if you don't pay me $500...
我就把这张照片
I'll send this picture
发给你妈 这样她就会知道
to that horrid mother of yours so she'll know
她女儿对她撒了谎
that her own daughter lied to her
你根本没顺产
about having a vaginal birth.
我会给你转账
I will Venmo you.
快看我 我在飞 蠢货们
Look at me! I'm flying, bitches.
别挥手臂了 你要打到别人了
Stop flapping your arms. You're gonna hurt someone.
我是哈尼努兹
I'm Honey Nutz!
准备好敲彩罐了吗
Who's ready for the pinata?
墨西哥人过节时将此种罐悬于天花板上,由儿童用棒击破以取得其中的玩具和糖果
- 我先来 - 等会 我拿这个
- Oh, me first! - Oh, yeah. Wait, I'll take that.
- 把棍子给我 - 真棒
- Give me that stick. - Isn't this great?
你们玩得开心吗
Aren't you guys having fun?
抱歉
I'm sorry.
我知道你让我什么也别说
I know you told me not to say anything,
但我们必须谈谈哈尼努兹的事了
but we need to talk about Honey Nutz.
有什么好谈的
What is there to talk about?
那有个小丑
There's a clown.
扎卡里在哪
Wh-Where is Zachary?
我不认识叫扎卡里的人
I don't know anyone named Zachary.
他向你问好
He says hi.
真不敢相信你又接纳了哈尼努兹
I can't believe you rebooted Honey Nutz.
贱♥人♥ 你知道我花了多少时间
Bitch, do you know how much time
塑造那个角色吗
I spent building that character?
你以为我会放弃吗
You think I'd give that up
就因为哈尼努兹年纪大了
just 'cause Honey Nutz One aged out?
很奇怪 对不对
This is weird, right?
所以
So, uh,
对了 你们知道我升职了吗
anyways, did I tell you guys about my promotion?
怎么了
Wh-What's wrong?
我爸妈在告诉我他们离婚前
This is precisely how my parents told me
也是这样
they were getting divorced.
他们以为带我出去玩能让我不那么伤心
They thought it wouldn't hurt as much over mini golf.
以至于我现在一看到风车就吐
Now every time I see a windmill, I throw up.
所以我永远不能去荷兰
That's why I can never go to the Netherlands.
得了吧
Come on.
格雷琴不会先让我们狂欢 再说坏消息的
Gretchen wouldn't throw us a carnival to give us bad news.
她不是魔鬼
She's not a monster.
伙计们 这是个好消息
Guys, this is good news.
- 你要抛弃我们了 - 我没有抛弃你们
- You're dumping us. - I'm not dumping you.
所以我们还能随时打给你吗
So we can still call you whenever?
当然了
Absolutely.
你们可以打给新的负责人
You just call your new point person,
如果有紧急情况 他们会转告我的
and they'll loop me in if it's an emergency.
谁是新的负责人
And who is our new point person?
琳德西 棒不棒
Lindsay. Isn't that amazing?
我就知道 你要抛弃我们了
I knew it! You're abandoning us.
贱♥人♥ 我恨你
Bitch! I hate you!
你的工作一直差强人意 但这样还是很伤人
Your work has long been subpar, but this still stings.
好了 埃德加
All right, Edgar.
我想咨♥询♥你一件事
I need to ask your advice on something.
等一下
Hold it.
等会问
Hold that thought.
你好 汤普金斯先生
Hello, Mr. Tompkins.
埃德加 我想你了
Edgar, there's the face I wanted to time with.
你奶奶好点了吗
Any update on Abuelita?
很不幸的是
Sadly, yes.
她的情况恶化了
She's taken a turn for the worse.
真奇怪
That's curious.
我觉得她看起来还好
Because she looks just fine to me.
抱歉 你... 你能再说一遍吗
Um, I'm sorry, can... can you repeat that?
我说你奶奶看起来挺好 你看
I said your abuelita looks just fine to me. See?
你好啊 乖孙
Hola, mi tesoro.
你朋友保罗人真好
Your friend Paul is so nice.
这是个奇迹 对吧
It's a miracle, right?
上一秒她还生命垂危
One minute she's taking a turn for the worse,
下一秒她就和最棒的喜剧人
the next she's headed to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles
去吃炸鸡和华夫饼了
with the nicest guy in comedy.
我们在买♥♥炸鸡华夫饼 埃德加
We're getting waffles with chicken, Edgar.
那么 既然她神奇地恢复了
So, since she's had this miraculous recovery,
我想你也有空去上班了
I guess you can make it into the office after all.
别先吃 我们叫外卖♥♥
Don't eat before. We'll order in.
我拿到了这张巨额支票
So, I got this huge check.
有句俗话说得好
And you know the saying:
"没钱没烦恼"
"Mo' money, mo' issues with which to contend."
如果我告诉格雷琴
If I tell Gretchen,
我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst
剧集 | 我爱上的人是奇葩（2014） | 导航列表