我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst S05E12
Part 2
Oct. 14, 2020, 4:58 p.m.
Go up.
往上
You sat Robert next to his son? You have to change it.
你让罗伯特坐他儿子边上吗 得改一下
Who is this Paul person, and why doesn't he have a table?
保罗是谁 他怎么没座位
What if you moved him...?
不如把他挪到...
No! Paul throws everything off!
不行 保罗是个冷场王
I'm sorry. Uh, the chart took forever.
抱歉 排座位这事会没完没了的
Do you know how embarrassing it is
你知道当别人问我
when people ask me about the menu and the flowers,
菜单和鲜花时我有多尴尬吗
and I just have to shrug
我只能耸耸肩
and say, "I suppose I'll see"?
然后说"我再看看"
Other than that phone call in the middle of the night
更别提你那天深夜打电♥话♥
to let me know that you and Boone were getting married,
告诉我你要和布恩结婚了
you've haven't told me a thing.
一点征兆都没有
You sure we haven't talked about the wedding since then?
你确定那之后我们再没说起过婚礼的事吗
Positive.
没错
That's really funny, because I just realized now
有意思 我刚刚才意识到
that there might have been an assumption
我有可能
that I might have inadvertently forgotten
无意间忘记了
to set the record straight,
要澄清一个错误
and you might still think that...
你可能还以为...
Mommy, I'm marrying Jimmy, not Boone.
妈咪 我嫁的是吉米 不是布恩
Mommy, I said I'm... I know you're marrying Jimmy.
我说我... 我知道你嫁的是吉米
I'm not a complete idiot.
我又不傻
Oh. Then why are you here?
那你来干嘛
Our daughter is getting married.
我女儿要结婚了
We've had front row seats to all your mistakes, so why stop now?
我得坐第一排看你再干一件错事
Do you have a saltine? I'm a bit peckish.
你有饼干吗 我有点饿
Okay, for our second stop, Jimmy,
第二站 吉米
this one represents... Oh, let me guess. My present.
代表着... 我猜猜 我的当下
No. Your present is now, why would you need to visit it?
你不正活在当下吗
No, it's your past again, but this one is bad.
这个是你暗黑版的过去
It's all the anger and stress and anxiety you've held onto,
你压抑的负能量
and it is time to let it out.
该释放出来了
It's a smash room.
欢迎来到发泄屋
A safe way to externally fight the demons within.
尽情地锤爆烦心事吧
I can see how you might be drawn to this,
你可能会喜欢这里
but as someone who lives his life honestly,
但是我为人坦荡
I have no need for a safe space
并不需要这种地方
to vent the impotent rage I simply do not possess.
因为我没什么发泄的
Dial-ins!
电♥话♥
Sheila!
希拉
Studio system!
制片体制
Signature cocktails!
招牌鸡尾酒
Vendors!
花艺师
Caterers!
婚宴承办人
Depression!
抑郁症
Do it! Do it!
砸了他
Do it!
砸他
Do it! Do it! Do it!
砸他
Do it! Do it! Do it!
砸他
I'm getting married, Papa.
我要结婚了 爸爸
Paul, Becca, please keep in mind what's important is the welfare
保罗 贝卡 你们要明白
of a child that's going to exist soon,
宝宝的健康最重要
so let's clear the air and everyone agree to stop
所以大家心平气和地谈
ruining Paul's baby, you heinous bitch.
别再伤害保罗的孩子了 你这毒妇
I'm not ruining his baby.
我没伤害宝宝
I can't help it if the baby craves unpasteurized cheese.
宝宝想吃生奶酪 我也没办法
And sushi? I didn't eat sushi.
还有寿司 我没吃寿司
It was sashimi. Rice goes straight to my hips.
那是生鱼片 米饭会让我发胖
Chillax, dorkus.
淡定 傻叉
It's good to challenge babies' immune systems.
锻炼宝宝的免疫力是好事
That's how you make an X-Men.
这样宝宝才更强壮
You agreed to follow a rigorous meal plan,
当初你说好会严格遵循食谱
to do yoga and Pilates,
练瑜伽和普拉提
to play it trans-vaginal Mozart.
用阴式播放器让宝宝听莫扎特
My wife's not jacking it with that dildo speaker
我老婆才不要用假屌♥音响
to play your kid nerd music.
放脑残的音乐给你孩子听
It's all in the contract. Since you brought it up,
这是合同约定的 既然你提合同
I do have a solid legal basis for increased parental rights
由于授精方式改变
due to the altered method of insemination.
我的亲权随之增加
You want parental rights?
你想要亲权
No, I just said I have a legal basis for parental rights.
不 但我享有行使亲权的法律基础
Plus, I do have a geriatric womb
而且 我的子♥宫♥日渐老化
and might not ever get pregnant again.
可能再也怀不上了
What if I never get pregnant again?
万一我再也不能怀孕了呢
I'm not gonna lie, I was hoping we'd get a do-over someday.
说真的 我想等老了之后再要个孩子
Tallulah's great, but face it,
塔卢拉很棒
we're not turning that boat around.
但我们不能改变什么了
Vernon, we have to keep this baby.
弗南 我们要留下这个孩子
I can already feel how much it loves me.
我感觉到它很爱我
She's bluffing. When Bec and I were kids, she would threaten
她在唬人 我们小时候
to kill herself if I didn't give her my Choco Taco.
她拿自杀威胁我交出冰激凌
Please. Just tell me how much.
直接报价吧
Paul, you can't put a price on a mother's love.
保罗 母爱是无价的
But if you want to put a price on a mother's love,
但非要定价的话
low midtomid six figs all in. Six?
怎么也得小六位数吧 六位数
If you're not willing to give everything you have
如果你不愿为宝宝付出一切
for this baby, maybe you don't really want it.
说明你不是真的想要它
I think you might be right.
你说得对
What? I love the idea of a child,
什么 我想要孩子
but I don't think I'm ready for the reality.
但我还没准备好做爸爸
I think...
我想
I think I'm out.
我不要了
Thank you, Becca.
谢谢你 贝卡
Paul, no. I'll be okay.
保罗 不要 我没事的
Maybe I'll take the hundreds of thousands of dollars
我打算从孩子的大学基金里
I already put into a college fund
抽出一大笔钱来
and use it towards my travels.
到处旅行
Babies are the real trip. All kinds of new experiences.
有孩子就是一段新的旅程
The nonstop screaming, clipping them tiny fingie nails,
你要哄孩子 给他们剪指甲
not being able to run out right quick to see the new Minions movie
你也没时间去看最新的小黄人电影
'cause some little dummy might roll over onto her face and die.
因为小屁孩可能一个翻身闷死自己
I think it may be best for all
我最好
if I begin my travels immediately.
现在就走
Paul, you can't leave. It's your baby.
保罗 你不能走 这是你孩子
Wait, Paul! We were bluffing.
等等 保罗 我们在唬你
I can't do it all over again. You can't make me.
我没法重来了 别逼我
20 grand, all in.
两万
30, or I kill myself.
三万 不然我死给你看
Fifteen.
一万五
Done. Done.
成交 成交
And when she refused to stop parking in front of our house,
她既然非要把车停我门前
I simply had Enrique change the sprinklers to go off
我就让恩里克把喷水器换个方向
right before she had to leave for work in the morning.
她早上上班 正好浇她一身
You think this marriage is a mistake,
你明明不认可这场婚姻
and you weren't gonna say anything?
但你却一字不提
Do we have to talk about this?
我们一定要谈这个吗
We were having such a nice day.
今天很美好
Actually, we do have to talk about it,
我们必须谈这个
and we're not having a nice day. This is a terrible day.
并且今天很糟糕
You are my mother, and yet you refuse to ever talk to me about anything real.
你是我妈 但你从不跟我交心
I was just telling you all about the new Oriental family next door.
我才跟你说了新邻居的事
Anything real, Mother.
走点心 妈妈
You're so afraid you might hear something unpleasant.
你就是怕听到不好的事
You always have to be so provocative.
你总是咄咄逼人
It's the day before my fucking wedding,
明天我就结婚了
and you know nothing about me!
你却根本不懂我
What don't I know about you? Seriously?
我什么不懂 认真的吗
Let's see, uh, in high school, I had more sex in your bed than you did.
高中时 我在你床上啪了无数男人
Granny's Homer painting that's been in the family for decades?
奶奶收藏的霍默真迹
我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst
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