我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst S05E12
Part 1
Oct. 14, 2020, 4:58 p.m.
No! Not the tickles!
别挠我痒痒
Come on, honey. Let's go inside.
我们进去吧 亲爱的
I have this pretty stick. Oh, it's a cool stick.
我找到一根漂亮的木棍 是挺酷的
This mud was probably a little too much, huh?
脸上涂的泥是不是太夸张了
Holy shit.
我的天
Holy shit.
我的天
Holy shit! All of it?
天哪 全都搞定了
And with 24 hours to go.
还多出二十四小时
That was so much work!
这么多事
An incredible amount of stupid, idiot work.
一堆蠢事
I hate work, and that was... Of which I did most.
我讨厌琐事 基本都是我做的
Okay, now that's really open for debate.
话不能这么说
I'm just saying that I did all of it.
全是我一个人干的
And not really the point.
这不是重点
This is really my wedding.
看来真的是我一个人的婚礼
My second marriage, I'm eloping.
二婚的话我选择私奔
No doubt. Why isn't Edgar cooking us
毫无疑问 埃德加怎么
some pre-wedding fritters or some shit?
没提前做点油炸饼之类的
Oh, he's putting the finishing touches
他在为当伴郎
on his Best Man Jimmy day.
做最后的准备
Yuck. Lindser and I got to run all over town
琳子和我也要去做个全身护理
getting this face and body camera-ready.
这样能更上镜
Do you think I need to...?
那我需要...
No one's gonna be looking at you.
没人会看你的
Literally no one.
一个都不会有
You're invisible tomorrow. No one gives a fuck.
明天你就是透明的 没人会在意
You could die.
死了都没人知道
I can't believe how not freaked out I am.
没想到我能这么冷静
I thought I would be shitting my pants the day before my wedding,
还以为婚前我会吓到尿裤子
but I just feel so good
但是我很高兴
since I came clean to you about everything.
能向你坦白一切
You have given me a gift no one has before.
你给了我一样前所未有的礼物
Acceptance.
接纳
Unconditional acceptance.
无条件的接纳
Jimmy, it's all I ever wanted.
吉米 这就是我一直想要的
I finally feel truly safe.
我终于有安全感了
God, I'm genuinely touched.
天哪 我都被感动了
So safe, in fact...
这种安全感...
What are you doing there?
你干什么
So safe I feel like I can do anything
安全到我觉得
and you'll never leave me, no matter what I do.
不论我做什么 你都不会离开我
Why would you do that?
你这是想干嘛
It's a metaphor for how I can do anything I want now.
只是打个比方 证明我可以随心所欲
Yeah, a metaphor I'll be cleaning up.
是啊 还不是要我来打扫
You know you don't need to fix my problems, Jimmy.
你不必替我解决问题 吉米
So you're gonna clean it up?
所以你来打扫吗
Cleaning it up ruins the metaphor.
那我何必打这个比方
Paul! Did you get LASIK?
保罗 你做激光矫正了吗
Oh, good Lord. Costume changes?
天哪 还要换装吗
I guess I won't see you until...
看来我们再见就要等到...
You're walking down the aisle in hilariously incongruous white?
你穿着古怪白纱走红毯的时候吗
Kiss, kiss, kiss,
亲一个 亲一个
kiss, kiss,
亲一个
kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!
亲一个 亲一个
Kiss! Have sex, have sex,
亲 来一炮 来一炮
have sex, have sex. All right.
来一炮 来一炮 好了
Let's get this over with.
赶紧开始吧
Don't lose him.
别把他弄丢了
I need that piece of shit to marry me tomorrow.
明天还要他娶我呢
I won't.
不会的
Ugh! I guess I'll go get dressed.
我该去穿裤子了
Wait! Before you put on your pants,
等等 在你穿裤子前
where's your favorite place to go?
先告诉我你最想去哪里
Nowhere. That's where we're going.
哪儿也不想去 那就对了
Are you serious? I don't have to put on pants?
真的吗 我都不用穿裤子吗
You can Donald Duck that shit
你光屁♥股♥都没关系
because this is your day.
因为今天你独大
Everything is coming to us.
大家都会围着我们转
Manis, pedis, facials, food, booze.
美甲师 美足师 美容师 美食美酒
Thank you. I am stupid excited to hang out with you.
谢谢 跟你在一起我总开心得像个傻子
Same! Extra stupid. So...
没错 超级傻 对了
tell me the haps.
跟我说说细节
What was it like munching Yvette's puss?
伊薇特的"口"感如何
Oh. Mani-pedis must be early.
美甲师来早了吧
Hello... sir?
你好... 先生
Sorry, wrong... door.
抱歉 找错... 门了
You have to get rid of her.
你得把她弄走
I'm serious, whatever it takes.
真的 不管用什么手段
Mommy.
妈咪
Gretchen, why aren't you wearing pants?
格雷琴 你怎么没穿裤子
Do you not shave above the knee?
大腿毛都没刮吗
I thought you and Daddy had plans today.
我还以为你和爸爸今天有事
Your father wanted to go to the Reagan Library,
你♥爸♥想去里根图书馆
but I've already been there so many times.
但我去过太多次了
Hi, Mrs. Cutler. So nice of you to surprise us.
嗨 卡特勒女士 见到你真是惊喜
Gretchen, who is this person?
格雷琴 这是谁
Is that the right word?
有句话怎么说的
I want to be an ally, but they make it so hard.
我乐于接受他们 但他们总自讨没趣
How's your hotel, Mommy? Dreadful.
酒店怎么样 妈咪 糟透了
They put us near the elevator,
房♥间在电梯边上
so I made them move us.
我就要求他们换
I had to go out into the hall,
只能去了大厅
then we were near a baby, so I...
然后旁边有个婴儿 所以...
For your butt.
请坐
Sorry! Got to go.
抱歉 我得走了
You are bailing on me the day before my wedding?
你要就这样弃我而去吗
I'm sorry. I love you, I love you.
抱歉 我爱你 我爱你
You're on your own. Sorry!
你得靠自己了 抱歉
Is this a built-in couch?
这是嵌入式沙发吗
Must be impossible to clean.
肯定很难打理
And you enjoy walking on the bare floor?
这地板怎么光秃秃的
On the eve of this major turning point in your life,
在你人生转折点的前夜
we embark on three stops.
我们安排了三站
This first stop
第一站
represents a dream from your past.
代表你过去的梦想
Something you used to talk about
一件你心心念念
but never got to do.
却从未做的事
Sochi 2014.
2014年索契冬奥会
You wouldn't stop talking about curling.
你一直惦记着的冰壶
No sport more misunderstood.
最容易被误解的运动
No players more understandably hair-trigger defensive
冰壶运动员最能够诠释
than those of curling.
防守战的千钧一发
Fuck yeah.
来吧
Hello?
你好
Are you... me?
你是... 我吗
Oh, thank God.
谢天谢地
For a second I thought I was in a Black Swan.
还以为我人格分♥裂♥了
Becca is being reckless with her health and, therefore,
贝卡完全不顾及自己的健康
with the health of my progeny.
也让我的孩子健康堪忧
She butt-dialed me from a wine tour.
她去酒庄时误拨了电♥话♥给我
Gretchen's bitch mom ruined my day,
格雷琴的奇葩妈毁了我的好心情
so let's sort this sitch out.
那就先帮你解决问题吧
Becca? Get over here.
贝卡 过来一趟
And bring back all the TP you stole.
再把你偷的厕纸带过来
Last night I had to wipe with a sock.
昨晚我用袜子擦的屁♥股♥
Have you ever considered curtains?
你考虑过窗帘的样式吗
How's Daddy? Is he playing a lot of golf? How's his knee?
爸爸怎么样 还常打高尔夫吗 他膝盖好点没
He's fine. Oh, before I forget, I need to see the seating chart.
他很好 差点忘了 我要看下座位表
Now? Thank you.
现在吗 拜托了
Can you make it bigger?
能放大点吗
我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst
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