我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst S03E01
Part 1
Oct. 14, 2020, 4:42 p.m.
Oh, God. Oh, shit!
老天 妈的
I'm gonna come! I'm gonna come!
我要高♥潮♥了 我要高♥潮♥了
I'm gonna come. Why do you always announce it?
我要高♥潮♥了 你为什么老是提前宣布下
What? You always announce it.
什么 你老是提前宣布要高♥潮♥了
I do? Always.
是吗 一直如此
I don't know. I guess I just want everyone to be clear that, uh...
我不知道 我只是想让大家都知道...
That this is Gretchen's moment. Yeah.
这是属于格雷琴的时刻 对
Gretchen has the floor.
轮到格雷琴主控全场
Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah!
好爽 妈的 好棒
I'm gonna... No! Wait.
我要... 不行 等等
Jesus. What?
老天 干嘛
Gretchen has the floor!
现在是格雷琴主控全场
I don't know what to tell you.
我不知道该怎么告诉你
We can, you know, both.
我们可以一起...
Like, at the same time?
同时高♥潮♥吗
Why not? I don't know.
为什么不呢 我不知道
Will it be scary?
会很恐怖吗
I don't know. It might.
我不知道 可能吧
Wait, I can't... I can't stop it. Oh, me neither.
等等 我忍♥不住了 我也是
I can't stop it. Here I...
我忍♥不住了 我...
You were so quiet.
你好安静啊
You had the floor.
你主控全场嘛
Oh, stop. It's a soft case.
没事啦 这手♥机♥壳很软的
I'm gonna take a shower.
我要去冲澡
Might take a second. I'm gonna wash my legs.
要花点时间 我要洗我的腿
You mean shave your legs? No.
你是说刮腿毛吗 不是
I'm sorry?
你说什么
Implying that you don't usually wash your legs?
意思就是你平时都不洗你的腿吗
No.
不洗啊
You don't wash your legs?
你不洗你的腿
No way. What am I, a sucker?
当然不洗了 难道我是傻♥逼♥吗
What, you take showers, and you don't wash your legs?
你洗澡 但却不洗你的腿
What am I gonna do, like, bend down and wash my legs?
那我要怎么办 弯下腰洗我的腿吗
Who has the time?
谁有那个时间啊
Yesterday, you spent two hours drawing a maze.
昨天你花上两小时画一幅迷宫图
Yeah. And how do you think I had time to draw that sick-ass maze?
就是啊 不然你以为我哪来的时间画那个破迷宫
No wonder you haven't finished your book, Jimbo.
难怪你的书还没写完 吉宝
Too busy washing your legs.
就忙着洗你的玉腿呢
It's book proposal. And it's nearly done.
只是新书提案而已 而且就快写完了
Hey, I forgot to mention!
对了 我忘了说
Sam and the boys are having a big secret reunion show tonight.
山姆他们今晚要举办盛大的秘密重聚表演
You want to come? Nope.
你想去吗 不想
It's a really important night.
今晚真的很重要
Free booze. I'll be there.
酒水免费 我会去的
Love you.
爱你哦
What did you say?
你刚说什么
Oh, my God, are you serious?
我的天 你来真的吗
W-We said it.
我们说过了啊
No way! I didn't say it!
不可能 我绝逼没说过
Uh, the night of Becca and Vernon's party.
贝卡和弗南举办派对的那晚
We both said... You said it first!
我们都说了 是你先说的
I was blackout drunk!
我彻底喝高了
Why would you take anything I said seriously? I seriously think
你怎么把我说的句句话都当真 我真心觉得
that you may have a drinking problem. I don't have a problem.
你可能有酗酒问题 我才没问题
You know what, I'm not gonna let this bother me. Maybe you have
我懒得跟你说了 或许你才有
a "Believing things drunk people say" Problem.
"相信醉汉的醉话"问题
I told you, from the beginning, I don't believe in it.
从一开始我就跟你说过 我不相信爱情
But you said it.
但你说过了
I might also have said that
我可能还说过
I don't have an opinion on your pubic hair,
我对你的阴毛没意见
or that I was gonna help Edgar with his résumé.
或者 我要帮埃德加制♥作♥简历呢
Doesn't make them true.
那并不代表我说的是真话
Babe.
宝贝
Babe?
宝贝
Dude with his face in my business.
在我身上埋头狂啃的小哥
What's the matter?
怎么了
Just, um, you've been doing that for, like, a half hour.
你已经这样舔了半个小时了
Uh, uh, attention to detail. It's an Army thing...
注重细节嘛 在军队...
When are you gonna do me already?
你什么时候操♥我♥
I like making you feel good.
我想让你爽
Is this your way of apologizing
你这是在为之前面对同居提议
for backing out of moving in together?
有所退缩而道歉吗
If so, forgiven.
如果是 我原谅你了
Anyway, who am I to look a gift... whore?
总之 我又不是婊♥子♥ 怎么会不知感恩
Gift head? Gift mouth in the mouth.
"口礼之交" "口礼往来"
There it is.
好梗
Okay.
好了
Lindsay!
琳赛
Lindsay, come out here!
琳赛 出来
Oh. Okay, let me go put on my biking Spanx.
好吧 我去穿我的骑车专用内衣
No, honey. You don't understand.
不是 亲爱的 你搞错了
Being back in this house, I realized
回到这个家后 我意识到
I created a life apart from you.
我之前的生活是与你格格不入的
All my hobbies,
我所有的爱好
my Internet activity, my secret bank account...
我的网上活动 秘密银行账户
Your what now?
你的什么
All these separate things created malignant distance between us.
所有的这一切在我们之间造成了巨大的鸿沟
You're throwing away all your nerd stuff?
你要把你所有的书呆子玩物都给扔了吗
From this moment on, my sole focus
从此刻起 我只会关注
will be on things we can do together.
我们能一起做的事
I have a very special evening planned.
我计划了一个非常特别的夜晚
My special night? Tonight,
我的特别之夜吗 今晚
we launch our life, truly together.
我们将真正携手开启我们的生活
As a family.
作为一家人
Family.
家庭
Breakfast...
早餐
tots.
炸土豆块
This is completely...
这个简直是...
brilliant.
太棒了
Why have you just thought of these now?
你怎么现在才想起来做
I'm more creative when I'm upset.
我不开心时比较有灵感
I have a problem.
我遇到问题了
Having a problem is your defining characteristic.
有问题是你的标志性特色
No, I have a real problem.
不 我遇到真正的问题了
Ever since they switched some of my meds, I've been...
自从他们给我换了些药 我就...
having a little trouble in the bedroom.
在卧房♥之中就遇到点麻烦
What, night screamings? Sleep-to-rage?
什么 夜半惊叫 睡眠暴怒
Waking up thinking, "Why am I here?
醒来时困惑 "我为什么会在这儿"
Oh, right. Yeah, I'm freeloading off Jimmy."
"哦对 我在吃吉米的白食"
No. Bed-room.
不 是指"床事"
Oh, my God! Jesus, man. Are you serious?
我的天啊 老兄 你是认真的吗
It's not like nothing happens,
并不是说一点没反应
but more like it starts to happen,
更像是 它正要起来
then it gets halfway there and is like...
然后到一半的时候 就像在说...
"Nope, I'm going back to bed."
"不 我要继续卧倒了"
I've gone years now successfully never picturing your penis.
多年以来 我成功避免想象你的下♥体♥
And now... there it is.
然而现在 它浮现了
Just maybe try to...
也许你可以试试...
kink it back into working order, huh?
刺♥激♥它恢复功能
What have you two tried? Latex?
你们试过什么 乳胶衣
Smooshing?
假鸡♥巴♥
Medical play? Size training?
医学角色扮演 尺寸训练
CFNM? Funneling?
女王调♥教♥ 异物插入
Hazyface?
模糊人脸
Clit negging? Ladyboy?
阴蒂贬低 变装男孩
Nothing. Just regular.
没什么 就普通的招式
Well, then your penis is clearly bored to death.
那你的鸡♥巴♥显然已经无聊死了
Just try something.
尝试点什么
Maybe start with some light role-playing.
可以从简单的角色扮演试起
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna try and finish my breakfast
好了 不介意的话 我要把早餐吃完了
我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst
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