You're on some serious crack.
你是嗑大了
Right now, you two are stuck doing the twin-merge for your coven, ok?
你俩现在必须得为你们巫师团做双胞胎融合
That means one lives, one dies,
所以只能活一个 死一个
but if we help Kai and he finds a way to merge with Jo,
但如果我们帮卡伊找到办法和乔融合
it's not your problem anymore.
你们就不需要考虑这问题了
Until Kai becomes the most powerful witch
但卡伊会变成我们巫师团
in our coven and goes on a killing spree.
最厉害的巫师 然后开始到处杀人
Something tells me that's gonna become our problem.
我觉得那绝对会成为我们的问题
What does he want us to do exactly?
他究竟想要我们做什么
Just think sociopathic Ryan Reynolds.
就像是反♥社♥会♥的瑞安·雷诺兹
Haven't seen him.
没见着他
Grunge vibe, annoying as hell.
充满怨愤 十分讨厌
Still no idea.
还是不知道
Well, if he has half a brain,
如果他脑子好使
he will be hiding where vampires can't find him.
肯定是藏在吸血鬼找不到他的地方
So in between levels of Mario Kart,
你们打游戏的空挡
can you and little baby Gilbert maybe keep an eye out?
你和小吉尔伯特能帮忙盯着点吗
Yeah, got it. If we see him, we'll let you know.
知道了 如果见到他我就告诉你
Who was that?
是谁
It was Damon.
达蒙
Apparently, there's a psychopath roaming Mystic Falls.
据他说 神秘瀑布镇里有个疯子
You tell him we're busy hunting down a psychopath
你告诉他我们正忙着抓
roaming outside Mystic Falls?
神秘瀑布镇外的疯子了吗
Must have forgot to mention it.
一定是忘了说了
Look. You better get out of here.
你赶紧走吧
Enzo's gonna be here soon.
恩佐马上就来了
Let's kill a vampire.
我们去杀吸血鬼吧
Well, Bevis and Butthead are on the lookout.
那俩傻蛋帮忙盯着了
Anyone else brimming with confidence?
还有谁有什么把握吗
I mean, this just doesn't make sense.
这根本没道理
What could possibly not make sense
魔法双胞胎互相吸纳融合
about magical twins absorbing into one another.
这有什么没道理的
Listen. Jo needs her magic for the merge to work, ok,
听我说 要进行融合 乔得有魔法
and she got rid of that back in 1994.
而她1994年就移除了魔法
Kai said Jo hid her magic in a knife somewhere.
卡伊说乔把她的魔法藏在了一把刀里 不知在哪
It's probably back in Portland,
可能还在波特兰
where she got rid of it in 1994.
她1994年留下的地方
He checked. The knife's not there.
他看过了 不在那儿
He thinks someone took it.
他觉得有人拿走了
Jo doesn't have magic because it's stuffed in a knife
乔身上没有魔法 因为魔法在一把刀上
that was stolen and hidden by yours truly.
那把刀被在下偷走藏起来了
Kai won't find it.
卡伊找不到的
Yeah, unless Kai does a locator spell.
除非卡伊施个定位咒
It's impossible. Why?
没可能 为什么
Kai was born without the ability to do magic.
卡伊生来没有魔法
Let me guess. Kai wants us to do a locator spell on the knife.
我猜猜 卡伊想要我们施个定位咒找刀
If we find it,
如果我们找到了
Jo can get her magic back,
乔就能拿回魔法
Kai can merge with her,
卡伊就能跟她融合
and you and Luke live.
你和卢克就不会有事了
This is ridiculous.
这太荒谬了
This is our job.
这是我们的职责
Merging is our duty to the coven.
融合是我们对巫师团的责任
It's why we were born.
这是我们出生的原因
No. We were born because our coven decided
不 我们出生是因为巫师团认定
that Jo wasn't strong enough to beat Kai.
乔无力击败卡伊
Why should we have to die
凭什么我们要因为
because our sister's too weak to defeat our psychopath of a brother?
姐姐无力对抗疯子哥哥而死
You know, a month ago, the thought of bowing out
一个月前 你还从没想过
never even occurred to you.
退出呢
That's because Kai wasn't here a month ago,
因为一个月前 卡伊不在
but he's here now.
但他现在来了
Luke, we don't have to do this.
卢克 我们不非得这么做
We have a chance to live out normal, human lives.
我们有机会过正常的人生
We could actually be happy.
我们可以获得幸福
If the only way to restore Jo's magic
想要恢复乔的魔法
is to reunite her with that knife,
就得让她再碰到那把刀
Kai's gonna come for it.
卡伊肯定要去找刀的
Ric's right.
里克说得对
Even if Kai can't do the locator spell,
即使卡伊不能自己施定位咒
he's gonna make it his mission to find it.
他也会想尽把法找刀的
Kai finds it. Great. Love it.
卡伊找到刀 好啊 太好了
Why aren't you more concerned?
你为什么不担心啊
Because if Kai goes for the knife,
因为如果卡伊去找刀
I will kill him
我就杀了他
because the knife is right here where I hid it.
因为刀就被我藏在这里
I know I tried to kill you when you were toddlers,
你们还小的时候 我曾想杀了你们
but I got to say,
但我得说
it sure is nice to be around family for the holidays.
佳节有家人相伴太好了
Dad's not here yet.
爸爸还没来呢
Oh, yeah. You know what? He's not gonna make it.
是啊 他来不了了
You remember his friend Steven?
还记得他朋友史蒂文吗
He needed help moving a couch or something,
他需要人帮忙搬沙发还是什么的
so he's gonna miss out.
所以他来不了了
But it's an undeclared law that the sheriff and her husband
但是警长和老公一起往圣诞树上
put the star on the tree.
挂星星是传统啊
Then we will just have to let the Lockwoods have the honors this year.
那我们今年就让洛克伍德夫妇挂吧
Is something going on between you two?
你们俩之间有矛盾吗
It'll be fine, I promise.
没事的 我保证
Mom, I'm a freshman in high school, ok?
妈妈 我都是高一的学生了
I can handle adult conversations.
我能应付得来这种事
No worrying during the holidays, ok?
节日期间不许操心
And that tree is not gonna decorate itself.
那棵树可不会自己妆点好
Go.
去吧
Maybe you'll meet a cute surfer.
或许你会遇到帅气的冲浪者
Doubtful. My dad's conference is two hours away from any beach.
不太可能 我爸的会议地点离海滩有两小时呢
Ahh! Cute surfer? Where?
帅气的冲浪者 在哪
Nowhere. Bonnie's dad is dragging her on a work trip,
没在哪 邦妮的爸爸要带她去出差
so I'm gonna ask my parents if she can spend the holiday with us.
所以 我要问爸妈能不能让她来跟我们一起过节
Are you serious?
真的
Yeah. The 3 of us have never spent Christmas apart.
当然 我们三个圣诞节从没分开过
I plan on keeping it that way,
我不打算破例呢
even though Jeremy will hate it.
虽然杰里米肯定会不高兴
It's always fun to torture him.
但折磨他总是件乐事
I love you.
我爱你
Almost as much as I love torturing Jeremy.
几乎跟喜爱折磨杰里米的程度一样深了
Ok, great! Now that Christmas is saved,
太好了 既然拯救了圣诞节
let's get these garlands on the tree
我们赶紧把爆米花环挂到树上吧
before they end up on your hips.
别都长在你们屁♥股♥上了
Here. I got it.
我来吧
What are you doing here?
你来干什么
Well, your mom asked for my help.
你妈妈叫我来帮忙啊
No, Stefan. What are you doing here?
不 斯特凡 你为什么要来啊
Because if you think hanging a few stands of light is gonna
因为如果你觉得挂个彩灯
make me forget what a crappy friend you've been,
就能让我忘记你这个朋友最近多差劲
then you thought wrong.
那你就错了
Caroline, I'm trying, ok?
卡罗琳 我在努力了
You're trying?
努力
No. This is the easy part, ok?
不 这很容易
We're hanging Christmas lights.
我们在挂圣诞彩灯
Anyone can be friends when you're hanging Christmas lights.
挂圣诞彩灯的时候 大家都可以是朋友
Who wants hot chocolate?
谁想喝热巧
I was just leaving.
我正要走
Mom?!
妈妈
I just got really...
我突然就...
Mom!
妈妈
You ok?
你没事吧
What the hell is he doing?
他在干什么
Probably playing tic-tac-toe with himself
大概是像个疯子那样
like a crazy person.
自己玩井字棋吧
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