魔法师（2016）

The Magicians S04E04

Part 3 Aug. 20, 2020, 1:23 p.m.

I found a guy upstate. He'll take them off your hands,
但最迟明天前你就要打包好纸箱
but you have to get it done by tomorrow.
我明白了
I... I got it.
好吧只是…
Okay, just, um...
小心点
Be careful.
不要弄坏任何东西
Don't break anything.
该死的就跟最后的晚餐一样
Christ on a goddamn communion wafer.
这就像我被逼着玩
It's like I'm caught in
真实版的"三选一游戏"
a real-life game of Marry-Fuck-Kill,
只是现在根本没有"结婚"这个选项
only "Marry" Is off the table.
那么你打算怎么办
Well, what are you gonna do about it?
我对此毫无头绪
I have no goddamn clue.
要不然我为啥要双手抱头呆坐在这里
Why do you think I'm sitting here with my head in my hands,
摆出霍伯曼的经典绝望姿势呢
the traditional Hoberman despair position?
好吧我有个计划
Okay, then here's a plan.
我们一起解决这扯淡的问题
We're going to fix this bullshit.
玛戈我不想要增添你的烦恼
I don't want to add to your problems, Margo.
难道你要继续呆坐下去
So 'cause of that, you're gonna sit back
让这些破事儿发生在你身上吗
and just let this shit happen to you?
要吗
Huh?
这可不是舞会之夜而我唯一肯定的是
This ain't prom night, and the only thing I know for sure
你对我说晦气话解决不了任何问题
is you're not going to fix anything if you nutsack out on me.
我不会说晦气话
I won't nutsack out.
很好这是我想听的话
Good. That's what I want to hear.
要么我们成功解除诅咒
Because we are going to find a way out of this thing
要么我们拼了命地尝试
or we're gonna die trying.
我开始明白为何没有人解开过诅咒
I'm starting to see why no one's ever beaten this curse.
就像疱疹一样
It's like herpes!
只用脚踩是消灭不了核战级别的蟑螂
Cockroach-in-a-nuclear-war- level impossible to stomp out.
我在印度尼西亚部落找到了有关诅咒的仪式
Well, I found some shit on a ritual from an Indonesian tribe.
一是防止转变成超自然现象
It's supposed to prevent supernatural transformations.
二是造就超自然现象我的印尼文烂透了
Or maybe cause them. My Indonesian sucks.
优步提示
Uber alert.
这不停上涨的价格愈来愈…
You know, these surge prices are really getting out of...
不好了不不不
Oh, no. Oh, no-no-no-no-no.
好吧上涨的价格也让很生气
Okay, surge prices piss me off, too,
但你还好吗
but are you all right?
在跟我情人要发生点什么时候
I've always been upfront about my L-positive status
我总是先坦白自己"狼毒阳性"
with any potential partners before anything happens.
这跟优步有什么关系
What's that have to do with Uber?
艾萨克没坦白啊
Isaac wasn't.
那艾萨克跟多少人上了床呢
So how many people did Isaac do doggy-style?
只有一个人而我现在要给她提个醒
Just one and I'm going to go warn her now.
果然是黑色星期一啊
Uh-huh, yup! What a Monday!
难道就是这本书可以
So this book is used to help me
用合作魔法找出不同世界的方位吗
locate different worlds via a cooperative spell?
- 它被称为"世界之书" - 我认字
- It is called "The World Book." - Yes, I can read.
- 就跟百科全书一样 - 更像是地图集
- So it's like the encyclopedia. - More like an atlas.
你想找什么样的世界
What world are you looking for?
一个让我快乐并有归属感的地方
One where I can be happy, where I can belong.
不不是你想的那样
No, it's not what you think.
我对猥亵儿童没有兴趣
I'm not interested in that.
我只想去一处让我无害的地方
I... I just want to go somewhere where I can do no harm.
以我生命起誓我永不再做同样的事
I'll never do that again. I swear on my life.
我不确定你还值得信任
Yeah, well, I don't know if I believe you.
这么多年来马丁一直在折磨我
I spent years being tortured by Martin,
我用了很长的时间反思
plenty of time to think on my actions
为我的所作所为悔不当初
and regret them.
爱丽丝难道你从没无意伤害你爱的人吗
Did you never unintentionally hurt someone you love, Alice?
我从没猥亵过儿童
I never molested a child.
但我有后悔做过的事
But, yes, I've done things I regret.
- 那你就不配得到快乐了吗 - 是的
- Don't you deserve happiness? - No.
不要对自己那么严厉
Oh, don't be so hard on yourself.
- 我们也配得到快乐 - 我觉得你不配
- We all deserve it. - I don't think you do.
我不在乎你怎么想的
Well, I don't particularly care what you think.
你要我的帮助才可以找到修订室
You need my help finding the Revision Room.
要么跟我用合作魔法
So either you help me with this spell
要么你就得靠自己了
or you're on your own.
- 你是谁 - 你好我是乔希
- Who are you? - Hi, uh, I'm Josh.
我是艾萨克的朋友
I'm Isaac's friend.
艾萨克
Isaac.
他跟你上过一次床
He hooked up with you that one time.
是有这么一回事
Right.
听着我现在真的不方便
Look, it's a really bad time right now.
不等等艾萨克真的要我
Oh, uh, no, Isaac really wanted me to talk to you
跟你说一件非常紧急的事
about something and it's kind of an emergency.
所以可以让我进去吗求你了
So can I come in, please?
再问一下你是怎么认识艾萨克的
How do you know Isaac again?
这个嘛
Oh, uh...
我们是在犹太营认识的
Uh, he and I met at Jewish camp.
听起来有点奇怪
This is kind of weird.
他为什么不打电♥话♥给我
I mean, why did he send a friend
而是让朋友过来
instead of, like, calling me himself?
他患了喉炎
He's got, uh, laryngitis.
所以他就不能打字了吗
So he can't text?
而且他所有的手指都受伤了
And he broke all of his fingers.
总之我得和你聊一下艾萨克的问题
Anyhoo, I've got to talk to you about Isaac's problem,
他对某些问题有些羞于启齿
which he's embarrassed because he came down with something
而且他担心你可能会被传染上
and he's afraid that you might have caught it from him.
传染上什么
Caught what?
就是...
Oh, just a...
类似于疱疹的病
Herpes-like thing.
他把疱疹传染给了我吗
He gave me herpes?
我说的是"类似疱疹"
I believe I said herpes-like.
那是个什么病
Well, what the hell is it?
要想知道的唯一方式
The only way to know if you got it is to, sort of,
就是你也患上感受一下症状
go through the symptoms
看看你是不是得过
and see if you've been experiencing them.
得了吧在犹太营认识的乔希
Okay, Josh from Jewish camp,
我们才刚认识
I'm going to discuss genital warts
你居然就要和我讨论性病
and discharge with you 'cause we just met.
我的神啊我的命怎么这么惨
Jesus Christ. Fuck my life!
是这样的你最近有没有感觉不在状态
Look, have you maybe not been feeling yourself lately?
并没有
Not really.
我搞不懂刚才为什么会让你进来
And I'm beginning to wonder why I let you in in the first place.
很好你最近有没有做过
Great, and, uh, have you maybe been having dreams
某些诡异而暴♥力♥的梦
that are weird and violent?
也许吧
Maybe.
好的最后一个问题听起来有些疯狂
Right, well, this last one might sound a little crazy,
你最近有没有感觉在男人面前
but have you, maybe, been unable to control yourself
有时控制不住自己
around guys?
滚出我的公♥寓♥
Get out of my apartment.
等等不要我的意思是我不是...
Oh, wait. No-no-no. This wasn't... I mean...
我认真的滚出去
Seriously, get out!
请让我帮帮你吧
Okay, please, just let me help you.
我只是想要帮你
I just want to help.
这段时间真的很难熬
It's been a really hard couple of days.
我都快吓死了就像...
I've been totally freaking, like...
我到底是怎么了
What's wrong with me?
我懂你的意思
I know what you mean
这很正常
and it's completely normal
而且我保证这不是你的错
and I assure you, this is not your fault.
你这么说我很欣慰
That's so good to hear.
我是说
I mean,
我怎么能对别人
how could I even
干那种事
do that to someone else?
那简直是一片狼藉
It's a total mess in there.
- 一片狼藉 - 嗯哼
- Uh, a mess? - Uh-huh.
哪里
Uh, where?
我的个亲舅老爷啊
Jesus' tits.
也不是非常糟对吗