无耻家庭

Shameless S03E03

Part 1 Jan. 8, 2020, 2:57 p.m.

献给那些太他妈忙错过剧情的人
For all of you who were too fucking busy,
以下是《无♥耻♥家庭》上周剧情提要
this is what happened last week on Shameless...
你♥他♥妈♥看什么看
What the fuck you looking at?
这是我家
This is my home.
我也是这个家里的一份子
I am an important part of this family.
-天哪 -不你不是
- Jesus! - No,you're not.
你已经不住在这儿了
You don't live here anymore.
接住打开看看
Catch. Open it.
我有男朋友
I sort of have a boyfriend.
我还有老婆呢
Well,I sort of have a wife.
-她一直不让人省心 -不要
- She's always been a problem. - No!
我想她成为一名美国公民史蒂夫
I want her to be an American citizen, Steve.
等办理移♥民♥手续的时候你就是她的合法丈夫
When Immigration comes, you will be her husband.
贝多天天待在我家门口我走哪儿他跟哪儿
Beto's out front. He follows me wherever I go.
他没有恶意
He's harmless.
我♥操♥
Fuck!
我老爸很会哄小孩
Daddy's good with babies.
同志们好需要帮忙哄孩子吗
Howdy, folks. You need help with that baby?
我有个提议希拉让我留下来
I got a proposition for you, Sheils. Let me stay.
你一天就能睡八小时
You'll get eight hours of sleep a night.
我跟你保证
I can promise you that.
我心里有数
I know what I'm doing.
婴儿能吃安定吗
Are you supposed to give Valium to a baby?
我还赔了一百块
I lost $100 doing this night.
我想要改善一下我们的情况利普
I was trying to better our situation, Lip.
穷鬼赚钱的唯一方法
The only way to make money when you're poor
就是坑蒙拐骗
is to steal it or scam it.
我懂我懂你们要引导我找到耶稣
I know. I know. You want me to find Jesus.
我已经找到他老人家了谢谢
I already found him. Thanks.
我是来找小凯的
I'm looking for Kev.
我是他妻子
I'm his wife.
你醒了
You're awake.
根本没睡着过
Never fell asleep.
去跟他谈谈吧
Just go talk to him.
疯狂前妻突然出现也不能怪他呀
It's not his fault the crazy ex-wife showed up out of nowhere.
不是前妻是现任
She's no his ex, she's his wife.
你真该看看他见到她时的表情
And you should've seen his face when he saw her.
这屋子真安静
This house is so quiet.
孩子们吃早餐了
Kids! Breakfast!
天哪菲奥娜
Jeez, Fiona.
一切都是你在胡思乱想小维这里可不安静
This shit is all in your head, V. This house ain't quiet.
她也不是他现任老婆你才是
And she is not Kev's wife. You are.
去跟他谈谈
Go talk to him.
我需要咖啡
I need coffee.
家里没有滤纸了
We're out of filters.
-卫生纸也行 -卫生纸也没有了
- We can use paper towels. - We're out of paper towels.
尿布也行
Diapers will work.
-你一定要去上班吗 -是的
- You have to go to work? - Yeah.
能不能跟医生重新定个时间
Can we just reschedule the doctor thing?
不行打疫苗是很重要的
No,the vaccine schedule is very important.
不能迟到
You can't be late.
一大清早纹身店能有多忙啊
How busy can a tattoo parlor be in the morning?
对我们来说是清早
Morning to us.
对某些人来说是漫漫长夜的结束
To some people, it's the end of a long night.
早上好
Good morning.
没有早餐吗
No breakfast?
我最近没什么力气去购物
I haven't had a lot of energy for shopping lately.
弗兰克保姆来救你啦
Nanny Frank to the rescue.
我和哈密斯特
The Hymster and I will go on
要去杂货店搞个实地考察
a little field trip to the grocery store.
只是需要点钞票对吧兄弟
We just need some cash, right, buddy?
你酒还没醒吗弗兰克
You still drunk, Frank?
好吧
Fine.
该死我得走了
Oh, damn. I got to go.
我在上班的路上买♥♥咖啡吧
I'll grab coffee on the way to work.
我醒着
I'm awake!
去睡会儿吧小希希
Go catch some Zs, Sheils.
-孩子有我看着呢 -不行
- I got the little guy. - I can't.
哈米今天与儿科医生
Hymie has his first "Well Baby" appointment
有他第一次"健康宝宝"的预约
today at the pediatrician.
医生要你自费这种没必要的看诊吗
Doctor requires some kind of co-pay for this unnecessary visit?
那当然
Oh, of course he does.
医生都是小偷小哈密斯特
Doctors are thieves, little Hymster.
要是没有学历他们早蹲监狱去了
They just have degrees to keep them out of jail.
去睡吧我带他去
Go on. I'll take him.
真的吗弗兰克
You will? Frank!
弗兰克你真好上帝保佑你
Oh, Frank, bless you. Bless you. Bless you.
-给你 -行了
- Here. Here you go. -That'll do it.
快看
Oh, look at that.
等等你不用地址吗
Oh, wait. Don't you need the address?
她在哪里
Where is she?
还在睡觉
She's still sleeping.
她来这里才不只是因为车抛锚了呢
She did not just show up here because her car broke down.
什么意思小维她故意把车弄坏了吗
What do you think, V, she broke it on purpose?
我觉得她故意伤害了你
I think she broke you on purpose.
她伤害了你是我让你重新振作
She broke you. And I put you back together.
现在她却要来抢走你
And now she's here to take back what I fixed.
小维看这个离婚协议书
V, look. Look at this. Divorce papers...
我从网上下载的
I got them off the internet.
这是我让她签字正式离婚的机会
This is my chance to get her to sign it, to make it official.
你昨晚怎么不说
Why didn't you just say that last night?
因为昨晚你把我的脸骂得天昏地暗
Because you were yelling some shit about my face,
然后就跑去菲奥娜家睡了
and then you ditched and slept over at Fiona's.
关于你的脸我可没说错
Well, I was right about your face.
早上好
Good morning.
给你煮了些咖啡特浓的合你口味
I made you some coffee... super strong, like you like it.
重凯啡因我的最爱
Yay, Kevy-caf, my fave.
什么重凯啡因
"Kevy-caf"?
低咖♥啡♥因♥ 全咖♥啡♥因♥ 重凯啡因
Decaf, full-caf, Kevy-caf...
需要清醒头脑时的必备良品
for when you need a real kick in the ass.
我能看电视吗
Can I watch some TV?
她就喜欢这样的
It's how she likes it.
你的床真舒服我睡得像孩子一样熟
Your bed is so comfy. I slept like a baby.
你睡在我们的床上
You slept in our bed?
但我睡客房♥
I stayed in the guest room.
天哪我好久没闻这股味道了
God. I haven't smelled that smell in so long.
什么味道
What smell?
他枕头上的古龙水味
His cologne... on the pillow.
英国皮革的味道就像
English Leather, like...
老卡莱尔身上的味道
Old Man Carlyle used to wear.
老卡莱尔
"Old man Carlyle"?
我们相遇的那个寄养家庭
Foster home where we met.
他是我们遇到过的最棒的假爸爸
He was the best fake dad we ever had.
你知道他儿子要坐牢了吗逃税
You know Junior's going to prison? Tax evasion.
小卡莱尔不是吧
Junior Carlyle, no shit?
-真的 -真的假的
- No shit. - No shit?
橙汁买♥♥五送一
Six frozen OJs for the price of five.
干酪通心粉打八折我有四张优♥惠♥券
20% off mac and cheese, and I have four of these.
-一人只能用一张 -上面没写
- Only one coupon per customer. - It doesn't say that.
不用写这是常识
It doesn't have to. It's implied.
蒂娜你到点休息了
Hey, Tina. It's time for your break.
让金接手吧
Why don't you have Kim take over your station?
天哪这是鼻涕吗
Oh, my God. Is that snot?
抱歉小孩热伤风
Sorry... kids, summer colds.
我有四张干酪通心粉优♥惠♥券
I have four mac and cheese coupons...
我说过了一人只能用一张
I told you, one per customer.
态度好点
Hey, watch your tone.
你教教你家孩子用纸巾我就态度好点
I'll watch my tone when you teach your kids how to use a Kleenex.
-你说什么 -我有四张优♥惠♥券
- Excuse me? - I have four coupons!
我翻遍了邻居的垃圾才找到的
I dug through the neighbor's trash to get them!