无耻家庭

Shameless S03E01

Part 5 Jan. 8, 2020, 2:57 p.m.

Just take it.
我有男朋友
I sort of have a boyfriend.
我还有老婆呢
Well, I sorta have a wife.
他离开了一段时间
He's been gone for a while,
但他几周之后就会回来
but he's going to be back in a couple of weeks.
年轻的还是老的
Young or old?
年轻的
Young.
想来个三人行吗
You up for a threesome, hmm?
我是说老头可以异想天开对吧
I mean, an old guy can dream, can't he?
继续梦吧
Keep dreaming.
过来
Come here.
-谁还要鸡蛋 -我
- Who needs more eggs? - Me, please!
上学期间你回来的有点太晚了吧
You came in awfully late for a school night.
还有几周就是三角几何考试了
Trig test in a couple weeks, you know.
找不到裤子了
Wow. Couldn't find your pants?
我已经帮他们准备好午餐了
I already made them lunches.
你几点上班
What time do you have to be at work?
被解雇了
Laid off.
也好反正你讨厌那工作
Well, that's all right. I mean, you hated that job.
我不讨厌那薪水
Didn't hate the money.
等孩子们走了再去睡个回笼觉
Time to get back in bed when the kids leave?
我也想但是不行我要去见个人
Oh, I wish. I can't, I have a meeting.
准备走了盘子放水池里
Bus is leaving! Dishes in the sink!
曼迪要我捎你一段么
Mandy, do you need a ride?
-当然如果你车挤得下 -好
- Sure, if you got room. - All right.
-去见谁 -昨晚的老朋友
- Meeting with who? - Old friend from last night.
老朋友有名字么
Old friend have a name?
艾南多我们过去在一起工作
Arnando. We used to work together.
他突然过来
He came to town unexpectedly.
过去一起干什么的
Used to work together doing what?
开肉铺
Butcher shop.
黛比把牛奶放到冰箱里
Debbie, milk in the fridge!
好了该走了
All right, train's leaving!
曼迪
Mandy!
一会儿就回来别收拾床
I'll be back, just don't make the bed.
快走吉米
Let's go, Jimmy!
现在怎么办
What now?
现在你给我滚蛋
Now you go away.
什么就这样了你就这么放弃了
What, that's it? You're just gonna give up?
我渴了
Hey, I'm thirsty.
-你是个半途而废的人曼努埃尔 -什么
- You a quitter, Manuel? - What?
一个半途而废轻易放弃的人
A quitter? Little baby quitter?
离我远点混♥蛋♥
我给你一千块
I'll give you $1,000.
你已经答应我五千美元了
You already promised to give me five.
要么给钱要么我把你的肾卖♥♥掉
That or let me cut out a kidney to sell.
那是在我意识到你是个
Well, that was before I realized
胆小如鼠容易放弃的人之前所说的
that you were a little pansy quitter.
这才是我想要看到的精神
Now that is the spirit that I've been looking for,
但是让我们谈点建设性的问题
but let's channel it into something constructive,
比如怎么把我送回美国去
like getting me on the other side of the rio grande.
你有多向回去
How bad do you want to get back?
是"想" 是的很向
It's "Badly," But yes, bad!
来吧朋友
Come, amigo.
介绍埃尔·库奇略给你认识
Let me introduce you to my friend El Cuchillo.
埃尔·库奇略
El Cuchillo.
库奇略库奇略
Cuchillo. Cuchillo.
刀的名字
The knife?
你姐姐不喜欢我
Your sister doesn't like me.
不她只是担心我把你肚子搞大
No, she's just worried I'm gonna knock you up,
加拉格家不能再多添一张嘴了
doesn't want any more Gallagher mouths to feed.
我不是我妈
I'm not my mom.
13岁就有了孩子
13 with my brother on her hip.
13 是吧
13, huh?
12岁的时候就怀孕了
12 when she got pregnant.
这是什么
What the hell is that?
这叫氦氖激光器
This? This is a helium-neon laser.
我要给邻居近视的孩子们做矫正术
Now I'm gonna perform lasiks on near-sighted neighborhood kids.
50块一次
50 bucks a pop.
你暑假准备干什么
What are you doing this summer?
和我上个暑假干的事情差不多
Probably pretty much what I did last summer--
喝啤酒抽大♥麻♥
Drink too much beer, smoke a lot of weed.
这样可不行
Well, that ain't gonna work.
你这个暑假得为申请大学的简历做准备
You got to pad your resume for your college apps this summer.
你是南部来的穷孩子
You're a poor kid from the south side.
你的绩点有4.6 非常棒
And you got a 4.6, and that's great,
但光凭这还不够得做好充分准备
but you're gonna need a full ride.
有什么特别好笑的么
What's so goddamn funny?
不只是
No, it's just, um...
为什么所有人都认为我要去上大学
Why does everyone think I'm going to college?
笨蛋你就是要去上大学
Dummy, you are going to college,
而且你会顺利毕业
and you're gonna graduate.
然后去读硕士
And then you're gonna get your masters
接着博士
and your doctorate.
然后你会赚大钱
And then you're gonna make a boatload of money.
暑假好好充实一下简历
Spend the summer padding this resume.
怎么充实
Doing what?
我不管
I don't give a shit.
去教脑残儿童做炸♥药♥
Teach brain-damaged kids how to make plastic explosives
或者去教瞎子怎么吹制玻璃随你
or the blind how to blow glass.
我已经安排好了
You know what, I already have my sights set
几百个小时的社区服务等着我呢
on a few hundred hours of community service.
好啊
Okay.
这很好
That's good.
好好干
Get it done.
由库克县少年法庭亲情提供
Courtesy of cook county juvenile court system.
你绩点有4.6
You have a 4.6?
我只有1.2
My GPA is, like, 1.2
你是有多聪明
How smart are you?
有合适的工作吗
You find anything?
我这普教证能找到什么
Nothing I can get with a GED.
去马尔康学院
Go to Malcolm X.
芝加哥一所大专院校
读点急救护理课程
Take some nurses aide classes or something.
正好吉米现在是家庭煮夫
You got Jimmy playing Mr. Mom,
不如好好利用一下这段空闲时间
might as well take advantage of it.
这大妈头巾会不会太夸张了
This aunt jemima scarf too much?
你要半裸吗
You gonna be topless?
不会有人看你头上戴了什么的
No one's gonna be looking at your head.
去上社区大学需要花多少钱
How much does community college cost?
不用花钱去申请学生贷款
Nothing. Take out of shitload of student loans,
拿到学位以后转身不认账就行了
then bail on the feds once you get your degree.
记账会计
Bookkeeping, accounting,
X光技术员牙医护理员
X-ray technician, dental hygienist.
我光是给自己洗牙就快吐了
Yech, I get grossed out just flossing my teeth.
上个月我还在通下水道呢
I've been shoveling sewage for the last month.
电脑程序员
Computer programming.
酗酒毒瘾辅♥导♥员
Drug and alcohol rehab counselor!
这个我倒是经验丰富的很
I definitely have the practical experience for that one.
靠
Crap.
得预修过心理课程才行
Need a bunch of psych prerequisites first.
去考个公务员然后去运输署工作呗
Why don't you take the civil service exam and get on the ITC?
去干嘛开公交么
Drive a bus?
公务员有津贴医疗保险
Hey, pension, health care,
还有带薪年假呢
paid vacations.
或者去邮局工作也可以啊
Or there's the post office.
穿制♥服♥的都是讨厌鬼
Uniforms are for shit.
每个人看上去都拽得要死
Everyone looks like they have a dick in those pants.
超多人排队等着看我们呢
Oh, wow, a lot of people queuing up online for this.
我们发啦
This might just work!
那家夜店马上要开露天场了
Club's gonna open up the outdoor patio soon,
说不定梅格愿意让我再试着当次经理呢