小镇滋味

Santa Clarita Diet S03E02

Part 2 Oct. 14, 2019, 11:20 a.m.

with Abby Hammond days before the terrorist attack."
#与死神擦肩而过
Hashtag brush with death.
#引人深思 #战斗到底
Hashtag makes you think, hashtag these colors don't run.
大事不妙这就留下了证据
This is bad. This puts me at the crime scene
-证明我在犯罪现场拍照踩点 -你确实是在踩点
- taking photos like I'm casing it. - Which you were.
但是不能让联调局知道呀
It would be great if the FBI didn't know that.
我们得让斯文把照片删掉
We have to get Sven to take these down.
是啊而且我们还得把我的背包扔掉
Definitely. Oh, also, we should get rid of my backpack.
之前C4炸♥药♥放在里面可能还有残留
We had the C4 in it so there's probably residue.
我来处理你负责斯文
I'll do that. You deal with Sven.
我们之间的分别并不友好
He and I didn't end on the best terms.
好你希望我恐吓他还是单纯跟他聊聊
Sure. Want me to rough him up or just talk to him?
请记住我只能做其中的一种
Keep in mind I'm only capable of one of those things.
你会成功的
You'll do great.
说到我们这张硕大无比的谎言网...
Hey, speaking of our web of deception...
你妈跟我爸妈说我们在一起了
Your mom told my parents that we're in a relationship.
乔怎么说
What did Joel think?
我的重点是
Yeah, my point is,
你能不能叫她别再到处说了
can you please ask her not to tell anyone else?
我希望能够控制一下局势
It's just... I'd like to keep this contained.
好我跟她说
Sure, I'll tell her.
这会让你不舒服吗
Does it make you uncomfortable?
不是因为你只是...
It's not you. It's just...
我现在生活里有太多谎言
I have so many lies on my plate,
我真的应付不了更多了
I really can't handle another one.
完全理解不必担心
Totally get it. No worries.
只有我们的父母会认为我们在一起了
No one but our parents will think we're together.
-谢谢 -不过我妈已经告诉了我姥姥
- Thank you. - Except my mom already told my grandma.
她想把她的戒指送给你
She wants to give you her ring.
你觉得罗恩会是一名塞尔维亚骑士吗
Do you really think Ron could be a Knight of Serbia?
也许只是他自认为是
Or maybe he just thinks he is.
无论如何我们都得做好准备
Either way, we should be prepared.
这玩意真操蛋
Fuck this thing.
我早说了可以给你缝个套子
I told you I'd knit you a cover.
乔
Joel? Oh!
我之前好担心你
I was so worried about you.
我也有点担心罗恩
I was a little worried too, Ron.
-嗨希拉 -嗨罗恩
- Hi, Sheila. - Hi, Ron.
请进见到你们真好
Come in. It's so good to see you guys.
所以你们怎么来了
So... What brings you here?
你在我们门上插了一把刀
The knife you stuck in our door
上面钉着字条写着"小心骑士们要来了"
with the note that said, "Beware, the knights are coming."
我没往你家门上插刀子
I didn't stick a knife in your door.
上面有你的指纹
It had your fingerprints on it.
好吧那把刀确实是我插的我是想警告你们
Okay, I did stick a knife in your door. I wanted to warn you
你们有生命危险但我不希望你们知道是我
your lives were in danger but I didn't want you to know it was me
因为是我让你们陷入了危险之中
because I'm the one who put your lives in danger.
有人想喝茶吗
Does anyone want tea?
不喝茶你做了什么罗恩
No tea. What did you do, Ron?
好吧我在超自然论♥坛♥网站上认识了这位保罗
Okay, I met this guy Paul through a paranormal subreddit
我跟他说... 你包里是什么
and I told him-- What's in the satchel?
不必担心你跟他说...
Don't worry about that. You told him...
对
Right.
抱歉我现在满脑子都是包里有什么东西
Sorry. Now all I can think about is the satchel.
罗恩你得集中注意力
Ron! We need you to focus here.
好的
You got it.
-罗恩 -我听着呢
- Ron! - I'm with you!
这样吧你看
Here... Look.
就是一把锤刀万一要杀你需要用到
It's just a hammer knife... in case we have to kill you.
谢谢你我差点被逼疯了
Thank you. That was going to drive me crazy.
请坐吧
Please, sit.
你说的这位保罗...
So... This guy Paul.
对他的胳膊上有个像蜘蛛一样的文身
Yeah. He has this weird spider-like thing tattooed on his arm.
球腿先生
Mr. Ball Legs.
什么东西
What's that?
不重要继续
Doesn't matter. Go on.
好
Okay.
不行
I can't.
好吧变成活死人之后会吐出一个球
Fine. When you become undead, you throw up a pod...
最后会变成一个八条腿的生物
and it eventually turns into an eight-legged creature.
就是球腿先生
That's Mr. Ball Legs.
谢谢你希拉你看
Thank you, Sheila. See?
让我也知情有那么难吗
Is it so hard to include me?
话说这位保罗他有没有说自己是塞尔维亚骑士
So this Paul... Did he say he was a Knight of Serbia?
对
Yes.
完了他们真的来了
Holy shit, they're here.
他们从五百年前就开始猎杀活死人
They started hunting the undead 500 years ago,
如今来了这里
and now they're here.
你知道他们有多少人吗
Do you know how many there are?
看起来并不多
Doesn't seem like a lot.
我觉得应该是每个区域有一个
I think there's just one for each region of the country.
保罗负责加州亚利桑那州和拉斯维加斯地带
Paul has California, Arizona and the Vegas Strip.
看来骑士也是按照选区分配的
Obviously, the Knights are not immune to gerrymandering.
所以成为活死人的感觉如何
So... what is it like being undead?
别管那个了你跟保罗说了什么
Forget that. What did you tell Paul about us?
整个生活都会改变
Well, your whole life changes.
就像在《绿野仙踪》里
It's like that moment in The Wizard of Oz
整个世界从黑白忽然变成了彩色
when the whole world goes from black and white to... color.
听起来太美好了
That sounds wonderful.
自从我妻子去世我的生活一直很暗淡
Yeah, my life has been pretty gray since my wife died.
我们以前什么事都一起做
We did everything together.
罗恩我对此表示遗憾
Oh, Ron, I'm so sorry.
没关系
That's okay.
所以关于永生你最喜欢的是什么
So, what is your favorite part about being immortal?
你是否期待某一天在火星生活呢
Are you looking forward to living on Mars one day?
等等永生吗
Wait. Immortal?
对啊你是活死人
Yeah... You're undead.
除非有人刺穿了你的脑袋否则你是不会死的
So unless someone puts a spike through your head,
你会永生不死
you're going to live forever.
我倒是没想过这点
I haven't thought of that.
我也没有
Neither did I.
这是很严重的事
That's pretty intense.
你们专心一点
You guys, focus!
保罗想杀你
Paul is trying to kill you!
对哦你跟他说了我们什么
Right. What did you tell him about us?
我只说了我认识一个活死人女人...
All I said was I know an undead woman...
但没说我们的具体情况
But nothing about us specifically.
...她和她老公都是房♥产经纪人
...who's one half of a realtor couple...
-但没说我们住哪 -...住在圣克拉丽塔
- But not where we live. - ...in Santa Clarita.
我们去保罗家看看他知道什么
So, we go to Paul's, see what he knows.
好然后我们设法中断他的线索
Right. And then we figure out a way to throw him off his tracks.
这样他就不会来杀我
You know, so he doesn't kill me.
我们要怎么让他开口呢
How do we get him to talk to us?
你可以扮成塞尔维亚骑士
You could pretend to be a Knight of Serbia...
从另一区来访
visiting from another region.
我扮骑士没问题
I could be a Knight.
我在文艺复兴节上卖♥♥出的火鸡腿碾压所有人
I did sell more Turkey legs than anyone at the Renaissance Fair.
确实
You did.
话说我会永生不死
So... I'm going to live forever.
这很酷对吧
That's some shit, right?
是啊很难想象
Yeah... Hard to imagine.
不过如果保罗认出我们去过蛤蜊农场
Although, if Paul recognizes us from the clam farm...
我们说不定今天就一起死了
we could both die today.
我可以活到见到我的曾孙
I could meet my great-grandchildren
甚至他们的曾孙
and their great-grandchildren.
隔了好多代哦
That's so many greats.
他们该如何称呼我呢
What would they even call me?
-老婆还有更重要的... -波波怎么样
- Honey... we have bigger-- - How about Bop bop?
每隔一代就加一个"波"
Well, you just add a bop to every generation.
当然我很快
Of course, pretty soon
就会变成波波波波波波波波波波