小镇滋味

Santa Clarita Diet S03E04

Part 2 Oct. 14, 2019, 11:20 a.m.

是雷蒙娜
It's Ramona.
我最近有点不太好过而且
Things have been kind of rough with me lately and...
我从教会小组那里得知你激励了安妮
I know from my church group how much you inspired Anne,
然后我觉得
and I thought to myself,
"管他的我正需要一些上帝的见解"
"Heck, I could use a little Godly insight."
但是安妮没告诉你她看错我了吗
But didn't Anne tell you that she was wrong about me?
我只是个房♥地♥产♥经纪人
I'm just a realtor.
嗯她告诉我们了
Yeah, she told us.
但我和其他人不一样我仍然相信你
But, unlike the others, I still have my faith.
翠西我倒希望能帮助你
Trish, I wish I could help you,
但我没什么超能力
but I don't have any special powers.
我可以在半夜醒来
I can wake up in the middle of the night
说出的时间和准确的时间之差不超过20分钟
and tell the time within about 20 minutes of the actual time.
仅此而已
But that's it.
这样啊
Well...
或许我不该来的很多人都离婚了对吧
Maybe I shouldn't have come. Lots of people get divorced, right?
一半的人
Fifty percent.
而且并不是所有人都能和前任合得来
And not everyone gets along with their exes.
是的所以才成了前任
No. That's why they're exes.
当然了我也不是唯一被丈夫嘲讽
Certainly, I'm not the only woman whose husband ridiculed her
让她觉得自己渺小而且愚蠢的女人
and made her feel small and not very smart.
当她终于离开了他
And... when she finally left him,
他偷了她的猫冻结了她的银行账户
stole her cat and froze her bank accounts
还坚持让她回来因为...
and insisted that she come back because...
他是唯一能够爱上她那种人的男人
he is the only man who could love somebody like her...
她不仅迷失自我还很孤单
and she's lost and lonely and...
她开始想或许
starting to think maybe...
他是对的
he's right.
不管怎样我会自己处理的
Anyway, I'll figure it out.
真的很高兴认识你
It was really nice to meet you.
等等
Hang on.
听我说
Listen to me.
让那个一文不值的混♥蛋♥一边凉快去吧
Fuck that worthless fucking piece of fuck.
你值得更好的你不会回到他身边
You deserve better and you're not going back to him
除非你是回去狠狠踢他的蛋
unless it's to kick him in the balls so hard,
然后蛋蛋从鼻孔里掉出来
they dangle out his nostrils.
《圣经》上可不会像你这么说话
They don't talk like you in the Bible.
我无所谓
I'm okay with that.
现在你需要一个人陪你你信任的人
Now you need someone to stay with you. Someone you trust.
别说是我
Don't say me.
我的同事维姬
Uh, my coworker, Vicky.
虽然她嘴很毒
Although, she can be very judgy.
很好给那个贱♥人♥打电♥话♥ 维姬
Good. Call that bitch, Vicky.
顺便问一下你前夫的名字是什么
By the way, what was the name of your ex-husband?
她是安妮教会的朋友
She's one of Anne's church people.
我觉得我们不应该通过杀她的前夫
I don't think we should be encouraging her
来鼓励她
by killing her ex-husband.
她永远不会知道是我♥干♥的
She'll never know it's me.
而且我谷歌♥查了那个人他很完美
And I Googled the guy, and he's perfect.
鲍勃·泽克曼
Bob Zekeman.
三项家庭暴♥力♥罪
Three convictions for domestic violence.
肇事逃逸而且他完全摧毁了
A hit-and-run, and he totally destroyed
那个可怜女人的自尊心
that poor woman's self-esteem.
另外他看起来很美味
Plus, he looks so tasty.
看他的脖子
Check out that neck.
我该看什么喉结吗
What am I looking at? The Adam's apple?
不胸锁乳突肌
No. The sternocleidomastoid muscles.
几乎要从骨头上掉下来了
They're practically falling off the bone.
我们看人的角度真的不一样
We really see people differently.
雷蒙娜
Ramona?
你好希拉
Hi, Sheila.
你好乔
Hi, Joel.
老天爷你在这里干什么
Jesus! What are you doing here?
找球腿先生
Looking for Mr. Ball Legs.
希拉发短♥信♥说它病了所以我开车从西雅图赶过来
Sheila texted me he was sick, so I drove down from Seattle.
你怎么进来的
How'd you get in?
你们侧门的锁坏了现在坏了
The lock on your side door is broken... now.
它在哪
So where is he?
我把它放在楼梯下的柜子里
I keep him in the closet under the stairs,
因为它把乔吓死了
because he freaks Joel out.
它是个长着细腿全身沾满粘液的的核桃
He's a mucous-covered peach pit with spindly legs.
而我更喜欢猫
And I'm more of a cat person.
你好啊小家伙
Hey, buddy.
看看谁来了千万别死了
Look who's here. Please don't be dead.
它可能看不见你因为它没有眼睛
He might not be able to see you, since he has no eyes.
你说什么呢它全身都是眼睛
What are you talking about? He's covered with eyes.
只不过眼睛都闭着在除了晚上
He just keeps them closed, except at night.
天呐快把这东西丢掉
Oh, God. Get it out of here.
你好啊小家伙
Hey, little guy.
我回来了
I'm back.
你记得我
You remember me!
太暖了
that's so sweet.
看看他们多开心
Look how happy they are.
这东西全身都是眼睛
It's covered with eyes.
别把它拿出来
Please don't take him out.
大家要在这里吃饭的
Okay, people eat here.
这就像那个
It's like that video
一个士兵回家然后金毛就发疯的视频
when a soldier comes home and the Golden Retriever goes crazy.
但是这条狗全身都是眼睛
Except the dog is covered with eyes.
你千万别去潜水
You should never go scuba diving.
你会让很多海洋生物感到自卑的
You'd make a lot of sea creatures feel shitty about themselves.
-你好雷蒙娜 -你好雷蒙娜
- Hi, Ramona. - Hey, Ramona.
你们好艾瑞克艾比
Hi, Eric, Abby.
艾瑞克我为上次在在这里想绑♥架♥你
Eric, I want to apologize for trying to kidnap you
向你道歉
the last time I was here.
是我的错
That was wrong of me.
-这种事经常发生 -真的吗
- It happens. - I mean... Does it, though?
希拉你的球腿先生在哪
Sheila, so where is your Mr. Ball Legs?
我在它长腿之前就冷冻起来了所以
Oh, I froze mine before it grew legs, so...
我没有
I don't have one.
真可悲
That's sad.
我喜欢我的小家伙
I love my little guy.
我们分开的时候就像是自己少了一部分
When we were separated, it was like a part of me was missing.
球的那部分
The ball part.
真的吗
Really?
你和你的有心灵感应
You feel a connection to yours?
是的你应该把你的拿出来试试看
Oh, ye You should thaw yours out and see.
-或许我 -我们不用了
- Maybe I'm-- - We're good.
我们有艾比
We got Abby.
非常棒的结晶
Great stuff.
我也很想你艾瑞克
And I also missed you, Eric.
喵喵性感的美洲豹咕噜咕噜
Meow, meow, sexy panther purr.
我也很高兴见到你雷蒙娜
It's nice to see you too, Ramona.
汪汪狗尾巴摇啊摇
Ruff, ruff, dog tail wag.
希拉和我有重要的事要做
Well, Sheila and I were in the middle of something important.
即使我们没有
And even if we weren't,
我也不想听下去了所以…
I'm done with whatever's happening here, so...
谢谢你替我照顾球腿先生
Thank you for taking care of Mr. Ball Legs.
我住在金岭汽车旅馆 134号♥房♥间
I'm staying at the Golden Ridge Motel, room 134.
如果有人对此感兴趣的话
If that's of any interest to anyone.
咳嗽眨眼艾瑞克
Cough, wink, Eric.
-再见雷蒙娜 -很高兴见到你
- Bye, Ramona. - Nice to see you.
再见了球腿医生
And bye to you, Dr. Ball Legs.
这是一个我们偶尔玩的游戏
It's a game we sometimes played.
-我能和你谈谈吗 -当然
- Can I talk to you for a minute? - Hmm? Sure.
麻烦告诉我你不会和你的前绑匪发♥生♥关♥系♥
Please tell me you're not gonna have sex with your ex-kidnapper.
你要接受联调局的面谈
You have your FBI interview.
这还不够危险的吗
Is that not enough danger for one day?
我知道我想我刚只是被有机会成为
I know. I think I just got caught up with the idea
做过不止一次爱的男人这个想法给迷惑住了
of being that guy who's had sex more than once.