小镇滋味

Santa Clarita Diet S03E02

Part 1 Oct. 14, 2019, 11:20 a.m.

真好
Nice.
真好
Nice.
看来某人准备好行动了
Somebody's ready for action.
闻起来好香你是割伤了自己吗
It smells delicious in here. Did you cut yourself?
试了试而已很管用
Just testing it. It works.
你把球腿先生带回家了吗
You brought Mr. Ball Legs home?
对我觉得换个环境也许能让它打起精神
Yeah. I thought maybe a change of scenery would cheer him up.
也许他会喜欢曼谷
Maybe he would enjoy Bangkok.
那是雷蒙娜的球形生物吗
Is that Ramona's ball creature?
真酷
Cool.
就像我们去动物园
It's like when we go to the zoo
结果动物根本不想理我们
and none of the animals give a fuck.
我之前遇到了丽莎她分享了重大消息
So I ran into Lisa... and she had some big news.
关于某个女孩
About a certain girl...
还有某个男孩
and a certain boy.
谈恋爱的事
Dating.
其中一个名叫艾比
One of them's named Abby.
你真不给面子
You're no fun.
你跟艾瑞克谈恋爱了吗
Are you dating Eric?
太可爱了吧
That is so cute.
天哪我们没有谈恋爱
Oh, God! We're not dating.
不知道现在的小孩都称之为什么
Whatever you kids call it today.
"滚床单"
"Smashing."
妈你别给我丢人了
Mom! Never be in public.
不过就是一场愚蠢的误会
It was a stupid misunderstanding.
丽莎怎么能随便到处说呢
I can't believe Lisa's telling people.
你们没谈恋爱吗
So, you're not dating?
或者是"勾搭"
Or... "Hooking"?
我的老天爷再见
Oh, my God! Goodbye!
我不管是不是真的绝对不能翻篇
I don't care if it's not true. We are not letting this go.
准备好去处理你那位
Ready to go deal with your friend
-在门上留刀的朋友了吗 -好
- who left a knife in our door? - Yes.
我去拿他的地址
Let me just grab his address.
罗恩不是我的朋友我们只是
And Ron's not my friend. We just...
在精神病院待过同一间房♥
shared a room in a mental hospital,
当时我把内心最深的秘密告诉了他
where I told him my deepest secrets
还在他哭的时候安慰了他
and comforted him when he cried.
该死我们是朋友
Oh, shit. We're friends.
第三季第二集
但愿我们不需要杀罗恩他看起来人很好
I hope we don't have to kill Ron. He seems sweet.
有些看起来很好的人也很危险
People can be sweet and dangerous.
比如我们还有树袋熊
Example, us. Also, koala bears.
叮咚
Ding dong!
这是在室外你居然在室外也说叮咚吗
Outside? You say "Ding dong" Outside?
我们听说你们也要开房♥地♥产♥公♥司♥了恭喜
We heard you guys are starting your own realty company. Big yay.
我们想用巧克力牛奶蛋糕来庆祝
And we wanted to mark the occasion with a dolce de leche cake.
但是没买♥♥到所以就买♥♥了猴子面包
But they didn't have one, so we got you monkey bread.
-你们真贴心 -很贴心
- That is so nice. - So nice.
我们知道自己打拼有多辛苦
We know how hard it can be to strike out on your own.
我们是过来人当时我们还年轻
Yeah, we've been there, and we were young when we did it.
我们还很年轻
We're still young.
是呀
Yes, you are.
-是真的年轻 -确实年轻
- No, we are. - Yes, you are.
既然我们来了... 我们听朱迪·亨伯特说
Say, while we're here... we heard from Judy Humbolt
你们想把她的六居地中海风格别♥墅♥卖♥♥掉吗
and she said you wanted to list her six-bedroom Mediterranean?
非常高端恭喜你们
Very high-end. Good for you.
这简直就像几只蚂蚁在举玉米片
It's like a couple of ants trying to lift a cornflake.
我们不希望你们浪费时间
We just don't want you to waste your time
因为高端住♥宅♥算是我们的特长
because high-end neighborhoods are kind of our thing.
你在笑什么美女
Why are you smiling, pretty lady?
因为我刚想通你们为什么特意过来
'Cause I just realized why you came over here
很让人欣喜你们感受到了威胁
and it's flattering. You're threatened by us.
是啊
Oh, yes.
你们的猴子面包都是害怕的味道
Your monkey bread smells of fear.
我们只是不希望你们被我们打垮
We just didn't want to get crushed by us.
也许你们应该去卖♥♥
Maybe you should be selling
你们更熟悉的房♥子
the type of home you're more familiar with.
比如你们这间小房♥子
Like your cute little starter here.
我们不会被打垮我们会把那块玉米片
We're not gonna get crushed. We're gonna drag that cornflake
搬回蚁窝用纯白家居装饰
back to the colony, stage it with all-white furniture
然后以要价10%的价格售出
and sell it for 10% above asking.
没错我们一定能拿到那栋房♥子
Yeah. We are gonna get that listing.
我和朱迪·亨伯特的交情很深
Judy Humbolt and I go way back.
有一次在夏令营她很想家
Once at summer camp, she got homesick
于是我一晚上都没睡一直给她梳头发
so I stayed up all night braiding her hair.
我在她弟的受洗礼派对上
I finger-banged her into her
用手指把她送上了人生第一次高♥潮♥
first orgasm at her brother's Bar Mitzvah party.
干杯小婊砸
L'chaim, bitches.
二位
Hey, guys!
我不太喜欢这边的肢体语言没什么事吧
I'm not liking the body language over here. Everything alright?
-没什么我们只是 -我没在跟你说话先生
- It's fine. We were ju-- - Not talking to you, sir.
太荒谬了
This is ridiculous.
女士不如你先坐在地上稍等吧
Ma'am, why don't you take a seat on the pavement for me?
你是认真的吗
Are you serious?
女士
Ma'am?
希拉
Sheila?
这两位是原则房♥屋中介的人
Our friends from Principal Residential
他们以为可以来这里告诉我们
thought they could come here
哪里的房♥子可以卖♥♥ 哪里不行
and tell us where we can and cannot sell homes.
听起来似乎不太对
Well, that doesn't seem right.
这位是加西亚警官
This is Officer Garcia.
她是我们的警长朋友她有枪哦
She's our sheriff friend. She has a gun.
我身形高大我才不怕她
I'm an enormous man. I'm not afraid of her.
好啊不然我把随身摄像机关掉
Cool. Why don't I turn off my body cam,
我们来比划几下
we'll see where this goes.
住手
Stop.
不能打架这套西装一千五美金呢
You will not fight. That is a $1,500 suit.
是啊你很幸运我穿的衣服
Yeah. You're lucky I'm not wearing an outfit
可不像乔一样是在杂货店买♥♥的
like Joel you buy at a grocery store.
瞧你被警♥察♥吓的
Look who's afraid to punch a cop.
我们要走了
We're leaving.
我们还要带走猴子面包
And we're taking back our monkey bread.
谢谢你安妮
Thank you, Anne.
我侍奉你就是侍奉上帝
I serve Him by serving you.
正义之盾永不退缩
The shield of righteousness never falters.
好了
Alrighty.
我知道安妮不算完美
Okay, I know things aren't perfect with Anne,
但是你得承认
but you have to admit...
刚才也太爽了
that was pretty cool.
是啊确实挺爽的
That was... kinda cool.
克里斯塔之前那么拽后来吓成那样
Christa was so cocky and then she was, like, "Whaa?"
克里斯也是特别怂
And Chris was all...
也许我们可以带着安妮去见罗恩
Maybe we should bring Anne to see Ron,
如果他挑事安妮可以把他吓退
and if he's a problem, she could back his ass down.
我觉得这主意不好她这个人捉摸不透
I don't think that's a good idea. She's kind of wild card.
昨天还抢走了我们的纳粹分子
She took our Nazi yesterday.
是啊昨天是她第一天上任
Yeah. Well, it was her first day on the job.
但确实表现太糟糕了
But, that was terrible.
那个傻♥逼♥居然花一千五美金买♥♥西装吗
Can you believe that douchebag spends $1,500 on a suit?
你也想拥有一套一千五的西装对不对
You want to have a $1,500 suit, don't you?
我愿意穿一套
I would wear one.
出问题了
We have a problem.
记不记得我和斯文约会时去了液压破碎站点
Remember when Sven and I went to the fracking site on our date?
天哪你怀孕了
Oh, my God. You're pregnant.
对还是三胞胎
Yes, and it's triplets.
名字分别是"喂" "笨蛋"和"认真听我说话"
I'm naming them Hey, Idiot and Pay Attention.
-好 -我和斯文没发生任何事
- Okay. - Nothing happened with Sven.
但是我们一起拍了照片为了研究站点情况
But those pictures we took so I could scout the site?
他刚才发到Instagram上了
He just posted them on Instagram.
"我居然在恐怖袭击的前一晚"
"Wow, can't believe I was at the fracking site
"还和艾比·哈蒙德去了液压破碎站点"