小镇滋味

Santa Clarita Diet S03E03

Part 3 Oct. 14, 2019, 11:20 a.m.

Joel, look. It's Chris and Christa.
哪儿我的天是啊
Where? Oh, my God! It is.
好啊两位吃点沙拉吧
Hey, guys. Having some salad?
-老天两个傻子 -看看他们的穿着
- Oh, Christ. These idiots. - Look what they're wearing.
好像从来没出席过公共场合一样
It's like they've never been in public before.
衬衫不错废柴
Nice shirt, loser.
这件衬衫确实不错
This is a nice shirt.
我们能不能不要这样
Let's not do that.
我们为什么不一起吃呢
Why don't we eat together instead?
我举双手赞同
I love it.
你们怎么不给我们舔屌♥呢
Why don't you suck our dicks?
我举双手赞同
I love it.
说真的我知道我们一直相处得不太好
Seriously, I know we haven't always gotten along.
但或许是时候不计前嫌重新开始了
But, maybe it's time to put that behind us.
我们可以互拍对方吃饭肯定很有趣
We could video each other eating. That'd be fun.
真是重修旧好的好办法呢
Oh, that's a great way to reconnect.
-克里斯塔你先吃 -两位
- Christa, you eat first. - Guys!
我们知道是你们的治安官朋友向《峡谷日报》
We know it was your sheriff friend who planted that story
爆的假料说我们犯了欺诈罪
in the Valley Journal, about our fraud conviction.
结果事实证明我们也有朋友的
It turns out we have our own friends
朋友的朋友认识在《峡谷日报》工作的朋友
who have friends who know friends who have friends
告诉我们到底发生了什么
who work at the Journal and tell us what's what.
这真是天大的误会啊
That was a crazy misunderstanding.
我们可以边吃饭边解释
We can explain it over lunch.
我们是不会跟你们一起吃的
we are not eating with you.
事实上我们也没胃口了
In fact, we've lost our appetites.
没了吗
We have?
没了
We have.
即使我们已经付过钱了
Despite already paying.
至少拿个圆面包吧
At least, have a roll.
不了我们马上走这事跟你们没完
No! We're out of here. This isn't over.
我们会将摧毁你们的新公♥司♥作为我们的新事业
We're going to make it our business to destroy your new business.
没错
That's right.
我们要死磕哈蒙德房♥地♥产♥直到搞垮为止
We're gonna scold fuck Hammon Realty till it's dead,
将其踩得粉碎然后在上面拉屎
grind our heels into its balls, and take a shit on its face.
我们尽力了
Well, we tried.
我们真的尽力了
Yeah, we really did.
所以我猜克里斯塔要死了
So I guess Christa's gonna die.
她不想成为解决方案的一部分
She did not want to be a part of the solution.
这可不是我们要杀她
And it's not like we're killing her.
没错我们只是没能阻止她被杀
That's true. We're just not preventing her from getting killed.
对每一天我们都在放任大家死去
Yeah. We let people die every day.
我们可不会去检查大家的安全带系没系
We don't run around checking everyone's seatbelts.
或阻止他们不要吸烟
Or pull cigarettes out of their mouths.
另一方面
On the other hand,
假如我们看见一架飞机朝某人的房♥子撞去
if we saw a plane hurtling towards someone's house,
我们是不是应该警告住在里面的人
wouldn't we warn the people inside?
要是我们敲开他家的门
What if when we knock on their door,
他们威胁强♥奸♥我们的头骨呢
they threaten to make non-consensual love to our skulls?
如果是非双方自愿的那就不是爱
If it's non-consensual, it wouldn't be love.
说得好亲爱的
Good point, sweetie.
只是说出来似乎很重要
It just seemed important to say.
我觉得我们还是过好自己的生活
Well, I guess we just go on with our lives
顺其自然吧
and whatever happens, happens.
我想是吧
I guess so.
-你现在想干什么呢 -我不知道
- What do you wanna do now? - I don't know.
想做♥爱♥吗
Wanna have sex?
感觉有点不合时宜
Might seem a little disrespectful.
是啊手♥淫♥呢
Yeah. Hand stuff?
好我去拿杯椰子汁还有能量棒
Okay. Let me just grab a coconut water and a power bar.
你敢相信安妮就是这样看我的吗
Can you believe this is the way Anne sees me.
是啊
Yeah.
我们不能让汤米杀克里斯塔
We can't let Tommy kill Christa.
没错我们必须阻止他
No. We have to try to stop him.
除非他已经杀死她了
Unless he's already killed her.
我不确定这是个好主意
I don't know about this.
我们需要给温特一个理由
We need to give Winter a reason
让她觉得扔掉书包并不可疑
to think throwing the backpack away wasn't suspicious.
-你有更好的主意吗 -有啊
- Do you have a better idea? - Yeah.
回到过去不要炸掉一个能让我们
Go back in time and don't blow up a fracking site
坐二十年牢的液压破碎站点
that could send us to jail for 20 years.
是三十年我搜过
Thirty. I looked it up.
操我怎么会让这样的事情发生
Fuck! How did I let this happen?
他刚发现他的狗怀孕了他不喜欢狗爸爸
He just found out his dog's pregnant, doesn't like the father.
整件事就是一个巨大的错误
This whole thing was a huge mistake.
一个错误的决定现在我成恐♥怖♥分♥子♥了
One stupid decision, and now I'm a terrorist.
你没必要跟我一起做的是你自愿的
You didn't have to do it with me. You volunteered.
要是我让你自己去你会把自己炸死的
If I had let you go alone, you would have blown yourself up.
能有什么效果反正你又不会终结液压破碎
And for what? It's not like you were gonna end fracking.
我只是想试试
I wanted to try.
我以为你跟我一样
I thought you did too.
我很抱歉你只是出于义务而那么做了
I'm sorry if you just did it out of obligation.
我也是
So am I.
那个就是温特
There's Winter.
记住我们只是在互相开玩笑的好朋友
Remember, we're just best friends having fun.
幸好我妈在我八岁时逼我我参加表演训练营
Luckily, my mom forced me to go to acting camp when I was eight
之后我又选择性地去了五年
and then I went back electively for five more years.
不要告诉艾比
Don't tell Abby.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
-好啊各位 -好啊艾比
- Hey, guys. - Hi, Abby.
等一下你刚才不是穿了件毛衣吗
Wait a minute. Weren't you wearing a sweater earlier?
真想知道毛衣去哪了
I wonder where it is.
艾瑞克
Eric...
你把我的毛衣扔了吗
did you throw it away?
没错谁让你丢了我的书包
I did. That's payback for my backpack.
我的天你什么时候拿走我毛衣的
Oh, my God. When did you even take it?
早先的时候
Earlier.
什么情况
What is happening?
艾比和我正在进行恶作剧大战
Abby and I are in the middle of a pretty epic prank war
昨天我扔了他的书包
Yesterday, I threw out Eric's backpack.
对了你也在场
Oh, that's right, you were there.
那个是恶作剧
That was a prank?
我们互扔对方的东西好多年了
We've been throwing each other's stuff away for years.
七年级的时候就开始了
It started in seventh grade.
艾瑞克狂甩把我还没喝完的汽水
Eric tossed my soda before I finished it,
然后我就把他的汽水扔了
and then I threw away his soda.
然后我们就进入了无汽水状态
Then we got into non-soda stuff.
现在我们开始扔衣服和配饰了
Now we're in clothing and accessories.
我理解不了
I don't get it.
因为这个笑话一点也不好笑所以好笑吗
Is the joke that is so not funny that it's funny?
不还是很好笑的
No. It's funnier than that.
你终于懂了
You got me!
接着发疯吧怪胎们
Stay weird, weirdos.
-我觉得凑效了 -是啊
- I think it works. - Yeah.
现在你再也不需要跟我做任何
Now you don't have to do anything stupid
愚蠢的或鲁莽的事情了
or reckless with me ever again.
加利福尼亚州
这里是汤米
You got Tommy.
汤米这里是贝尔和塞巴斯蒂安
Tommy! It's Belle and Sebastian.
你已经杀了克里斯塔吗
Have you killed Christa yet?
没路上堵车所以我下车买♥♥了个三明治
No. Traffic was terrible. So I stopped for a sandwich.
太好了不要杀她她不是活死人
Great. Don't kill her. She's not undead.
不她是我的兄弟从报纸上认出了她
Yeah, she is. My brother ID'ed her from her picture in the paper.
-他要是认错了呢 -不用担心
- What if he's wrong? - Don't worry.
我会先试探她的看她能不能吃真的食物
I'm gonna test her first. See if she'll eat real food.
我这儿有土豆沙拉配上我的三明治
Got a little potato salad that came with my sandwich.
她不会吃陌生人给的土豆沙拉
Um, she's not gonna eat potato salad from a stranger.
那她死定了
Then she's gonna die...
还有30分钟
in 30 minutes.
谷歌♥地图现在又显示还有38分钟了
Google Maps is saying 38 now.
该死我们要在汤米之前赶到克里斯塔家
Shit. We gotta get to Christa's before Tommy does,