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but we're still trying to put all the pieces together.
现在 嫌犯有点丢三落四[脑浆爆裂]
Right now,the guy's a little scatterbrained.
我知道你们听不懂
I know that doesn't make sense to you,
但今早这个梗逗乐了很多人
but it cracked a lot of people up this morning.
总之 政♥府♥感谢你们的合作
Anyway, your government thanks you for your cooperation.
给
Here.
吃点彩虹糖吧
Have some Skittles.
-天呐 我们成功了 -我不用坐牢了
- Oh, my God! We did it, it worked! - I'm not going to jail!
我自♥由♥了 我的未来任我书写
I'm a free man! My future's unwritten!
我要一口吞掉整包糖
I'm gonna eat all these at once.
我以前从没试过
I've never done that before.
不该乱尝试的
That was a mistake.
但我现在有犯错的自♥由♥
But I have the freedom to make mistakes.
听着 今天我自己应付我爸妈
Listen. I'll deal with my parents today.
你最近被我们家的疯狂事折腾得够多了
You've been around enough of our craziness lately. Just...
休息一天 打给你妈 告诉她你没危险了
take a day off. Call your mom, tell her you're off the hook
好好面试 考上麻省理工
and go get yourself into MIT.
也许这样最好
That's probably for the best.
反正我也需要时间重新思考我的面试
I need some time to rethink my interview outfit anyways.
你试戴了领结 对吧
You tried on the bow tie, huh?
我看起来就像儿童天气预报员
I look like a child weatherman.
好了 珍 这是你的止痛药
All right, Jean. Here's your pain medication.
好棒 我能用波旁威士忌送服吗
Oh, yippee. Can I have it with a bourbon back?
我必须说 你今天气色很好
I have to say, you are looking great today.
我喜欢你的新发型
I love what you're doing with your hair.
谢啦 我在尝试新方法 就是洗头
Aw, thanks. I'm trying this new thing where wash it.
珍 我给你送午餐来了 你好
Hi, Jean. I brought your lunch. Oh, hello.
你好 我是阿曼达 珍的看护
Hi. I'm Amanda, I'm Jean's caregiver.
你今天给她带什么吃的了
What'd you bring our girl today?
抱歉 我只能打开给顾客看
Oh, sorry. I can only open it for clients.
是"流动送餐"的规定
It's a Meals on Wheels policy.
我也不能跟珍约会
I'm also not allowed to date Jean.
我懂 我也不准戴耳环
I get it. I'm not allowed to wear hoop earrings,
虽然耳环能为所有人增添乐趣
even though they add a lot of fun to everyone's day.
好吧
Well...
下周见 珍
I will see you next week, Jean.
好 如果我还没死的话
Yeah, if I'm still alive.
你啊
You!
天呐
Oh, my God!
我觉得生龙活虎
I feel incredible! Whoa.
耶稣基♥督♥啊
Jesus Christ!
我知道 很棒对吧
I know, isn't it great?
瞧瞧我 我有好多年没这样动过了
Oh, look at me. I haven't moved like this in years.
希拉 谢谢你 谢谢你的这份礼物
Oh, Sheila, thank you. Thank you for this gift.
我的艾比今天去哪了
And where's my Abby today?
我和我丈夫不想让她
Oh, my husband and I are trying
参与我们那些活死人荒唐事儿
to keep her out of our undead antics.
那一点都不容易 因为她很擅长谋划
Which isn't easy, because she's disturbingly good
犯罪和掩盖罪行 已经达到令人不安的水平
at planning, committing and covering up crimes.
我要给她织顶帽子
I'm gonna knit her a hat.
你准备好享用获得新生后的第一餐了吗
Are you ready for the first meal of your new life?
快给我
Please.
是耳朵
It's ears.
脆脆的 咸咸的
Crunchy and salty.
堪称人体界的洋葱圈
The onion rings of the human body.
是不是
Right?
我在品味它 不只是在嘴里
I'm tasting it, and not just in my mouth.
就是那份颤栗感 朋友
That's the tingle, my friend.
我今天很忙
Well, I have a very busy day,
如果你没其他需要...
so unless there's anything else you need...
我没事了 你快去忙吧 我有很多事要做
Oh, no, no. I'm good, you go ahead. I've got lots to do.
我要整理厨房♥
I'm going to organize my kitchen,
做做瑜伽
do a little yoga.
晚点我要邀请房♥东
And later, I'm gonna invite
来我家喝茶作客 然后杀了他
my landlord over for tea, so I can kill him.
什么 不行
What? No!
珍 我们说好了的
Jean, we had an agreement.
我给你送食物来
I bring you food,
你不许袭击其他人
you don't attack anyone,
三个月后我们杀你时你不许逼逼
and you don't put up a fuss when we kill you in three months.
他想赶我出去 说我没缴房♥租
He's trying to evict me by saying I'm not paying my rent
然而他每个月都有兑现我的支票
and he's cashing my checks every month.
我不要再忍♥受他的鬼扯淡
I'm not going to put up with his bullshit any longer!
再说 他的耳朵像前总统约翰逊的一样肥厚
And besides, he's got ears like LBJ.
珍 不行 你答应过我不会杀任何人
Jean, no. You promised you wouldn't kill anyone.
你得平静而文明地解决这个问题
You're gonna have to work this out calmly and civilly.
你弄来这些时也是这样吗
That's how you got these?
平静而文明
Calmly and civilly?
我可是你的创造者
I made you.
应该管用
That'll work.
糟了
Shit!
乔 是你挡了一下猫眼透出的光
Joel... was that you briefly blocking the light of the peephole
然后说"糟了"吗
and then saying "Shit"?
罗恩 你来早了
Ron! You're early!
足足三小时 不可原谅
Three hours. It's inexcusable.
但我想杀你个措手不及 以防这是个陷阱
But I wanted to catch you off guard, in case this was a trap.
我开玩笑的
Oh, I'm kidding.
没有啦 我朋友安德烈希望我今天转化他
Yeah, no. My friend Andre wants me to turn him today
所以我想早点来拿血清
so I thought I'd stop by early and pick up the serum.
如果来的不是时候 我可以先去转化他再回来
If this is a bad time, I could turn him first and come back.
没事 请坐
No, no. Please, sit.
好
Okay.
我去拿血清
I'll get the serum.
不要拘束 脚放桌上 放松警惕
Make yourself comfortable. Put your feet up, let your guard down.
我很快就回来
I'll just be a minute.
好的
Okay.
乔 有个问题
Hey, Joel? Question.
童星范宁姐妹中是不是有一个叫以实玛利
Is there a Fanning sister named Ishmael?
感觉很适合 但听起来怪怪的
It fits, but it sounds odd.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
把火鸡从烤箱里取出来
Getting a turkey out of the oven.
该死
Goddammit!
他们在干吗
What are they doing?
看起来好像是在
It looks like they are
抓一个不想被抓的人
capturing a man who does not wish to be captured.
如果乔·哈蒙德在寻找活死人
If Joel Hammond is searching for the undead,
也许那个人就是
perhaps that man is undead.
我们应该告诉波波维奇先生
We should tell Mr. Poplovic.
不 我们得先确定他是活死人
No, no, no. First, we must be certain he is undead.
波波维奇先生绝不容忍♥错误
Mr. Poplovic does not tolerate mistakes.
还记得三明治事件吗
Remember the sandwich incident?
我当时很确定他要的是蛋黄酱 而不是黄芥末酱
I was so certain he wanted mayonnaise and not mustard.
他可不是宽容的人
The man is not forgiving.
你打算
How long do you plan on
把我关在这个恶心的地牢多久
keeping me in this wretched underground dungeon?
-永生永世 -加里
- Forever! - Gary.
他逼我咬他 乔 太羞辱人了
He forced me to bite him, Joel. It was humiliating.
来啊 有种再试试 大块头 我还能吐口水
Come on. Try it again, big man. I can still spit.
有本事过来啊
Get over here!
老子用口水淹死你
I will fucking drench you!
如果我必须当你的囚犯
If I'm going to be your prisoner,
我想申请换另一个地牢
I'd like to request a different dungeon.
你不是囚犯 这里也不是地牢
You're not a prisoner, and this isn't a dungeon.
我们是招待你住在楼下的客房♥
We are hosting you in our downstairs guest suite,
直到我们说服你转化别人是不对的
until we can convince you that turning people is bad.
永生永世
Forever!
加里
Gary!
你破了规矩 就得承担后果
You break the rules, you suffer the consequences, dude.
再说我妈也被锁在这里过 但她可没抱怨过
Plus, my mom was chained up down here and she never complained.
看样子她曾试图咬断柱子逃离
Looks like she tried to chew her way through the post.
那可不是什么五星好评
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