小镇滋味

Santa Clarita Diet S03E06

Part 2 Oct. 14, 2019, 11:20 a.m.

What is this?
我在试图加入一个古老的猎杀活死人的骑士团
I'm hoping to join an ancient order of knights that hunt the undead
以便保护你妈妈
so I can protect your mother.
-我想加入 -不行
- I wanna do that. - No!
可能会很暴♥力♥ 而且很危险
It could be violent and dangerous,
这恰恰和我们对你的期望相反
and the exact opposite of what we want for you.
我小时候
When I was little,
你说过我长大后想成为什么人都可以
you said I could grow up to be anything I wanted,
而我想成为一个
and I want to be someone
能使用这把屌♥炸天的匕♥首♥的人
who gets to use this sweet ass knife.
拜托
I mean, come on.
看看啊
Come on.
你妈妈说得对我们不希望你被牵扯进来
Your mother's right. We don't want you involved in this.
你今天唯一能使用的工具
The only tools you'll be using today
就是耐心和同情心
are patience and empathy.
太酷了这些就是我们今天的玩具吗
Oh, cool, is this what we're playing with today?
等等为什么艾瑞克可以参与我却不行
Wait. Why does Eric get to be a part of this and I don't?
艾瑞克可以参与
Eric gets to be a part of this
是因为艾瑞克不想参与
'cause Eric doesn't wanna be a part of it.
好了我们走吧
Okay, let's go.
会很有意思的我的"流动送餐"服务对象
It'll be fun. My Meals-on-Wheels lady
也许能成为你和广播行业黄金年代之间的桥梁
could be your link to the Golden Age of radio.
靠我♥操♥ 赶紧把这事了结了吧
Fuck. Fuck it. Let's get this over with.
我知道你不乐意过来
I know you're not happy about being here,
但很重要的一点是你意识到
but it's important for you to learn
一个简单的善意之举
that a simple act of kindness
能影响的人远比任何炸♥弹♥能影响的人都多
can blow more people away than any bomb ever could.
这段话你是想了一路吗
Were you working on that the whole ride over?
你又不和我说话
Well, you weren't talking to me.
这事要搞多久
How long is this gonna take?
我们是来建立连接的会需要一些时间
We're here to make a connection, which might take time.
珍可能会有点易怒
Jean can be a little prickly.
也许她只是不喜欢你
Maybe she just doesn't like you.
你有时是有点让人难以接受
You can be a little overwhelming.
真的吗
Really?
你为什么不用手♥机♥打电♥话♥告诉我
Why don't you call me on the phone and tell me that?
等等你打不了因为你没有手♥机♥
Oh, wait. You can't because you don't have a phone.
你明白我说的意思了吧
You see what I mean?
门没关进来
It's open. Come in.
你好呀珍
Hi, Jean.
早上好
Good morning.
你今天带来的这位漂亮姑娘是谁
Who is this pretty girl you brought with you today?
珍这是我女儿艾比
Jean, this is my daughter, Abby.
嗨你好吗
Hi. How are you?
好多了你真是一股清风
Well, I'm better now. Aren't you a breath of fresh air?
我猜你说得对
Oh, I guess you were right.
珍你在看什么呢
So, Jean, what are you reading?
"珍你在看什么呢"
"So, Jean, what are you reading?"
-什么 -"什么"
- What? - "What?"
我猜并不只是我
I guess it wasn't just me.
这招高
Well played.
今天的午餐看上去很美味哦珍
Lunch looks great today, Jean.
希望你带上了你的好胃口
Now, I hope you brought your appetite.
从哪带从卧室到这张破椅子吗
Oh, where? From the bedroom to this goddamn chair?
她为什么把你拖过来了
Why'd she dragged you over here?
你是犯了什么事被惩罚吗
You being punished for something?
完全没有
Not at all.
我只是想教育艾比
I'm just trying to teach Abby
助人为乐是多么有意义
how rewarding it can be to help others.
真是太好了
Oh, isn't that great?
我超爱当别人生活的道具的
I love being a prop in other people's lives.
要不我们把窗户打开
Why don't we open a window
让你吹吹那股你之前提到的清风
and get you that breath of fresh air you were talking about?
卡住了
It's... stuck.
你做了啥
So what did you do, huh?
嗑药你是个瘾君子吗
Take drugs? Are you a drug addict?
不你是个小偷
No, you're a thief.
你有一双小偷的眼睛
You have the eyes of a thief.
珍亲爱的
Jean, honey.
随便你怎么说我都可以
You can say whatever you want about me,
但你不能说我女儿好吗
but not about my daughter. Okay?
顺便一说
And by the way,
我女儿是个贴心的小姑娘
my daughter is a thoughtful young woman
有着一双和我妈妈一样的眼睛
who has my mother's eyes.
可不嘛她八成是趁她睡觉时偷的
Yeah. She probably stole them from her while she was sleeping.
-你♥他♥妈♥什么毛病 -别激动老妈
- What the fuck is your problem? - Whoa, Mom!
说话真好听
Nice language.
怪不得你女儿一团糟
No wonder your daughter's a mess.
幸亏我打不开那扇窗户
You're lucky I couldn't get that window open,
因为我会把你揉成一团扔出窗外
because I'd have balled you up and pushed you out of it.
你猜怎么着你俩都给我滚出去
You know what? Get out of my house, both of you!
滚现...
Get out no--
天啊你杀了她吗
Oh, my God, did you kill her?
没有珍
No. Jean!
我杀了你吗
Did I kill you?
药
Pills!
哪个
Which ones?
圆的蠢货
The round ones, you clot.
它们都是圆的臭狗屎
They're all round, you turd.
关于友善我今天学到了不少
I'm learning so much about kindness today.
好了
Okay.
要想成为塞尔维亚骑士
To be a Knight of Serbia,
你必须要证明自己精通这几项
you have to prove your mastery of these tasks.
它们被称为古老考验
It's called the Trials of the Ancients.
用于测验技巧和智慧
They're tests of skill and intelligence.
这段塞尔维亚文字已有超过500年的历史
The Serbian text is over 500 years old.
但是100年前有人把它翻译成了英语
But 100 years ago, someone translated it into English.
然后97年前
Then 97 years ago,
某人字迹工整地誊写了一遍
someone rewrote that with nicer handwriting.
然后92年前为了我们的盲人朋友...
Then 92 years ago, for our blind friends...
太有意思了但等一下
This is fascinating, but hang on.
-靠 -怎么了
- Shit. - What?
我本来希望是我在找的那个叫罗恩的人的提醒
I was hoping it was an alert about this guy Ron I'm trying to find.
但其实是提醒我没抢到《汉密尔顿》的票
But instead, I just didn't get tickets to Hamilton.
天啊那部音乐剧太棒了让人起鸡皮疙瘩
Oh, my God, it's amazing. Goosebumps.
好吧考验
So, the trials.
对好的考验一共12项
Right. Okay, there 12 of them.
这个上面说要挖一个屠坑
This one says you have to dig a murder hole.
什么是屠坑和普通的坑一样吗
What's a murder hole? Is it like a regular hole?
但愿上面只说了要1.8米深
Hopefully. It just says it has to be four cubits deep,
不能借助奴隶或者牛的帮助
and you cannot enlist the aid of a serf or oxen.
没问题
No problem.
我最近挖了好多墓坑
I've been digging so many graves,
如今正是最佳状态
I'm in the best shape of my life.
我甚至可以早餐就吃蛋糕
I can even eat cake for breakfast.
这真好玩
This is fun.
听我说我今天叫你来还有其他原因
Listen, there's another reason I asked you over today.
我想跟你聊一件事
I wanna talk to you about something.
什么事都行说吧
Anything, man. Bring it.
好
Okay.
我知道艾比是个固执的女孩
I know Abby's a strong-willed girl
而且接触了很多疯狂的事
who's around a lot of craziness,
但你是个负责任的人
but you're a responsible guy.
也许下次她再想做一些类似于
So, maybe next time she wants to do something
炸掉一座液压破碎站这样的事
like blow up a fracking site,
你可以理智地劝劝她
you could be a voice of reason
而不是变成共犯
rather than an accomplice.
好吧我试过阻止她的
Well, I mean, I tried to stop her,
但是她还是打算去做
but... she was gonna do it anyways.
那你就应该来找我们
Then you should have come to us.
作为她的朋友有些事情你能看到而我们看不到