小镇滋味

Santa Clarita Diet S03E07

Part 4 Oct. 14, 2019, 11:20 a.m.

Don't worry, Joel. I'm only gonna kill bad people.
很好还有一件超级重要的事
Great. The other super important thing...
我们不希望世上有一群活死人东奔西跑
We don't want a bunch of undead running around
所以永远别转化任何人
so never ever turn anyone.
对吧亲爱的
Right, honey?
对那是超棒的经验法则通常来讲
Yep, that's a great rule of thumb. Generally.
-永远如此 -除非是极特殊情况
- Always. - Except in very rare situations.
别担心我懂了永远别转化别人
Don't worry, I got it. Never turn anyone.
-没错 -除非是特殊情况
- Right. - Unless there are special circumstances
比如他们想要被转化
like if they want to be turned.
不别转化任何人就这样[句号♥]
No. Don't turn anyone. Period.
句号♥ 句号♥跟着括号♥ 除非有人让你转化
Period. Period, ellipses, unless they ask you.
完美谢谢
Perfect. Thank you.
把他弄糊涂的可不是我
I'm not the one who confused him.
不我没糊涂乔
No, I'm not confused, Joel.
身为活死人超级棒
Being undead is amazing
我想要分享这种感觉选择性地
and I want to share it. Selectively.
目前为止我只转化了一个人
Right now, I've only turned one person.
而我只想再转化几个人
And I only want to turn a few more
都是我的Reddit超自然板块组员
for my paranormal subreddit group.
13个人最多18个
Thirteen, 18 people, tops.
你想转化18个你在网上认识的人
You want to turn 18 people that you met on the internet?
我正式宣布我和罗恩的出发点不一样
I'd officially like to separate my thing from Ron's thing.
罗恩你可能自以为明白你在做什么但相信我
Ron, you may think you know what you're doing, but trust me.
无论你有多确定自己能掌控一切
No matter how much it feels like you have things under control,
有可能一切都会很快脱离控制
they can go off the rails very quickly.
所以拜托
So, please...
答应我你不会再转化任何人了
promise you won't turn anyone else.
乔我从来没有过真正的朋友
Joel, I have never had real friends.
即使是小时候我也只有一个朋友
Even when I was a kid, I only had one friend.
他叫豪伊·米尔斯
Howie Mills.
我和他都是那种没人愿意一起玩的怪人
He and I were the... weirdos nobody wanted to hang out with.
但是有年夏天豪伊的父母给他买♥♥了个泳池
But then, one summer, Howie's parents got him a swimming pool
突然之间大家都想跟豪伊交朋友
and suddenly everyone wanted to be Howie's friend.
转化人的能力...
Being able to turn people...
那就等于是我的泳池
That's my swimming pool.
抱歉罗恩但是我们不能放任你那样
I'm sorry, Ron, but we can't let you do that.
而且你有朋友
And you have friends.
我们就是你的朋友
We're your friends.
是吗
Are you?
-百分百 -当然了
- Totally! - Of course!
那太棒了
That's great.
因为我刚把你们设成了我的人寿保险受益人
Because I just made you the beneficiaries on my life insurance.
这样一来万一我出了什么事
That way, if anything happens to me,
你们就能拿到应得的一切了
you will get everything you deserve.
你不会正巧带了唯一一份保单副本吧
You don't happen to have the only copy of that with you, do you?
我们要怎么办
What are we gonna do?
我们现在不能杀这个小混♥蛋♥了
We can't kill that little fucker now.
那张人寿保单真的是
That life insurance policy
能保住他小命的单子
is literally his life insurance policy.
至少我们给了他血清这样他就不会发狂了
Well, at least we gave him the serum, so he won't go feral.
棒极了他可以头脑清醒地带领活死人♥大♥军
Great. He'll have all his faculties when he leads his undead army
吃遍美国了
as it eats its way through America.
或许我们应该绑♥架♥他
Maybe we should kidnap him.
要是他在我们地下室里就不能转化别人了
He can't turn anyone if he's in our basement.
我不想让他在地下室里待着
I don't want him in our basement.
那样我就永远没法在那儿摆乒乓球桌了
I'm never gonna get a ping-pong table down there.
对了我知道罗恩已经铁了心要实施他的计划了
And by the way, I know Ron was pretty set on his plans,
但你没帮上忙
but you were no help.
这里味道更糟了
Smells worse in here.
你以为呢我本来还想说变好闻了
You think? I was gonna say "better."
而我只是不觉得转化别人
And I just don't think that turning people
是件非黑即白的事
is always so black and white.
等等这只是因为珍吗
Okay. Is this only about Jean?
还是关于你想要转化我
Or is this about you wanting to turn me?
-是关于珍 -真的吗
- It's about Jean. - Really?
因为我觉得还发生了别的什么事
Because it feels like something else is going on
而我知道你想要答复
and I know you want an answer.
而我考虑过了
And I've been thinking about it,
-但是把压力给我 -我转化了珍
- but putting pressure on me... - I turned Jean.
什么
What?
那是什么声音
What was that?
我觉得鲍勃刚才爆了
I think Bob just exploded.
去他妈的
God dammit!
你要去哪
Where are you going?
我要去冰淇淋车那边买♥♥个奶油冰棒
I'm getting a Creamsicle from the ice cream truck.
还有 38度大热天再把
And the next time we leave a vodka-soaked corpse
浸过伏特加的尸体丢车里
in our car on a 100-degree day,
要记得给车窗开条缝
we should crack a window.
好吧他们手上关于你唯一的确凿证据
Okay. The only hard evidence they have on you
是丹那些丢失的C4炸♥药♥
is Dan's missing C4.
那如果我们劝服他们丹把炸♥药♥埋在沙漠里
So what if we convince them that Dan buried it in the desert
然后液压破碎的工人把拖车
and then the fracking people built their trailer
正好建在上面了呢
right on top of it?
那些建造活动导致了爆♥炸♥
And all that activity, boom! Explosion.
C4炸♥药♥不是那样引爆的
That's not how C4 works.
好吧那要是我们给联调局寄一封辱骂信呢
Okay. Okay. What if we send a taunting letter to the FBI
看起来就像是极端环保组织要为此负责
like it's from a radical environmental group taking credit?
因为罪犯给执法部门寄讽刺信
Because guilty people sending cryptic letters
永远都不会适得其反
to law enforcement never backfires?
好吧这都是烂主意我...
Okay, fine! Bad idea. I...
我不能眼看着这事发生在你身上
I can't let this happen to you.
我们真的没什么选择艾比
We don't really have a choice, Abby.
他们觉得我有罪我也确实有罪
They think I'm guilty and I am.
他们逮捕我只是时间问题
It's only a matter of time before they arrest me.
不不发生这一切都是因为我
No... No. This all happened because of me.
我要去找罗杰斯探员坦白罪行
I'm gonna go to Agent Rogers and confess.
-我要跟她说是我自己一个人干的 -艾比
- I'm gonna tell her I did it and I did it alone. - Abby...
不无论怎么办 C4炸♥药♥总会牵扯到我
No. Either way, the C4 ties back to me.
无论你做什么我肯定是完了
I'm screwed no matter what you do
而我们没必要两个人都玩完
and it's pointless for us to both go down.
再说要是你去自首等于让你全家冒风险
Plus, if you confess, you'll put your whole family at risk.
不我们能想出办法我们做得到
No! We can figure this out. We can do this.
没什么可做的了
There's nothing left to do.
天啊你不能进监狱
Oh, God! You can't go to prison.
我有可能会进监狱
I might be going to prison.
珍只想多活几个月
Jean only wants to live a few months.
而且她保证永远不离开公♥寓♥
And she promised she would never leave her apartment.
我会喂她要是她要出门我会领她出去
I'll feed her and if she needs to go out, I'll take her.
就像是我们从收♥容♥所♥领养了只狗
Oh, so it's like we're adopting a shelter dog.
没错
Exactly.
但她不是只脏兮兮的小狗崽而是吃人肉的
But instead of a scruffy little pup, she's a flesh-eating human
永生活死人除非我用长钉子钻破她的脑子
who will live forever, unless I drive a spike through her brain,
到了那时候她可能会对此表示异议
which, when the time comes, she may have an opinion about.
但就像收♥容♥所♥的狗一样她抬头看你的时候
But like a shelter dog, when she looks up at you,
眼里充满感激
eyes full of gratitude,
你就会意识到是她拯救了你
you'll realize she rescued you.
汪
Woof.
我爱你汪
I love you.
拜托别这样弄得我没法接着跟你生气
Please don't make it hard for me to stay mad at you.
对不起汪
Rorry.
只是她的故事让我太感动了
I was just so moved by her story.
而我还有能力帮她
And I had the power to help her.
而且自从安妮告诉我我注定还有其他使命
And ever since Anne told me I was meant for something more,
我就一直在寻找更加宏伟的意义
I've been searching for a greater purpose.
我当时想或许这就是我身上
And I thought, this could be the reason
发生这一切的原因
this is all happening to me.
我理解但是你寻找意义的方式...
I understand. But the way you did it...
我们的生活太混乱了
Our lives are so chaotic.
唯一能让我稳住心神的就是我们在同一条战线
The only thing that's been anchoring me is that we're a team.
太抱歉了我应该先问你的意见