小镇滋味

我在这待了17个小时了 我得回家
I've been here 17 hours. I have to get home.
-我也是 -不 我是真的得回家
- Me too, man. - No, but I really do.
你是说我的情况不紧急吗
Are you saying my situation isn't also urgent?
不 罗恩 我相信你必须在
No, Ron. I'm sure you have to get to your apartment
芦笋人回家前赶回你公♥寓♥
before the asparagus people come back.
它们不是芦笋人 乔
They're not asparagus people, Joel.
发音是"奥斯帕拉高斯"
They pronounce it "Oz-para-gauze."
而且它们不是人
And they are certainly not people.
如果是的话 我就不用
If they were, I wouldn't have to
在晚上用花生酱封住我的耳朵
seal my ears with peanut butter at night
防止它们侵入我的大脑了
just to keep them from infiltrating my brain.
它们入侵性很强
They're so intrusive.
还有它们的音乐
And their music...
这不是你第一次来这吧
I'm thinking this isn't your first time here.
我有被抓过 怎么了
I've been captured before. Why?
你有找到出路吗
Have you ever found a way out?
我为什么要帮你
Why should I help you
你都不把我当人看
when you don't even treat me like a human being?
好吧 对不起 罗恩
Okay. I'm sorry, Ron.
我不该轻视你和奥斯帕拉高斯的矛盾的
I shouldn't have belittled your conflict with the oz-para-gauze.
-奥斯帕拉高斯 -我说的就是奥斯帕拉高斯
- "Oz-para- gauze." - I said "Oz-para-gauze."
我们都知道你没有
We both know you didn't.
我们暂时都别说话
Let's not talk for a minute.
只是我老婆现在出了点状况
It's just my wife is going through this thing,
我得给她搞到特定的药物
and I have to get her this very specific medicine
因为她情况在恶化
because she's getting worse.
你老婆怎么了
What's going on with your wife?
除非你不想谈
Unless you don't want to talk about it
因为那些
because those creatures
你用不标准发音嘲笑的生物可能在偷听
you mocked with your lazy pronunciation might be listening.
实际上 你可能是唯一一个我能分享这事的人
Actually, you may be the only person I can talk to about it.
她是活死人
She's undead.
真的吗
Really?
怎么样
How is that going?
老实讲 很复杂
Honestly? Mixed.
她有种我很喜欢的激♥情♥
She has an intensity I love,
但是要给她找人肉吃
but having to find human flesh for her to eat...
-很不容易 -我能想象
- that's been hard. - I can imagine.
我们是房♥产经纪人 所以杀人
We're realtors, so killing people
然后把尸体装进冷藏柜不是我们所擅长的
and stuffing them into freezers doesn't come naturally.
一定很累人吧
That must be exhausting.
她现在进攻性越来越强了 谁知道她会做出什么来
Now, she's getting more aggressive. Who knows what she might do?
我不能再待在这
I can't be here anymore.
不好意思 乔 可这没有出路
I'm sorry, Joel, but there's just no way out.
如果你企图逃跑 他们只会关你更久
And if you try, they will just keep you here longer.
先生们好
Hello, gentlemen.
-准备好集体治疗了吗 -医生 我得回家
- Are you ready for group? - Doctor, I need to go home.
-我们都需要赶紧离开这 -我是真的需要
- We both need to get out of here now, man. - But I really do.
-我也是 -罗恩 我们的事是分开的
- Me, too. - Ron! My thing is separate.
乔 你要留院观察72小时
Joel, you're on a 72- hour hold.
我们不能放你走
We can't let you go
除非你不再对自己或他人构成威胁
until you're no longer a danger to yourself or anyone else.
-走吧 两位 -会
- Shall we, gentlemen? - Wi- -
-会有果汁吗 -每人一盒 罗恩 老样子
- Will there be juice? - One box per person, Ron. Same as always.
-你的能给我吗 -那我就没有了
- Can I have yours? - Then I wouldn't get one.
谢谢 非常感谢 好的 再见
Thank you. Thank you so much. Okay, bye.
最早来的塞尔维亚交换生也要等六个月
The soonest we could get a Serbian exchange student is six months.
六个月后 你妈妈可能会变成一台腐烂的
In six months, your mom may be just a rotting,
不分青红皂白的杀人机器
indiscriminate killing machine.
但也许不会
But probably not.
我们说不好 没事的
We don't know. It's all good.
你确定一定要用塞尔维亚胆汁才能做成这个血清吗
Are you sure it has to be Serbian bile to make the serum?
嗯 书上这么写的 因为第一次疫情爆发是在塞尔维亚
Yeah, it's in the book. Since the first outbreak was in Serbia,
只有他们有免疫性
they're the only ones who have built up immunity.
我感觉我要搞砸了
I feel like I'm blowing this!
艾比 我们在努力 那个工作留言板呢
Abby, we're trying. What about that job message board?
-你有在上面发帖吗 -嗯 几个小时前
- Did you post on that? - Yeah, a few hours ago.
-看 -你是塞尔维亚人吗
- Here. - "Are you Serbian?
你想靠呕吐赚130块吗 你肯定想的
Do you want to make a $130 just for throwing up? You know you do.
发送出生证明复印件 不要丁丁图 谢谢
Send copy of birth certificate. No dick pics, please."
我必须加上这句 因为显然可能引起误会
Yeah, I had to add that 'cause, apparently, it wasn't obvious?
不过实际上这只会让大家更有创造性
But, honestly, it just made people more creative.
又是那个噪音 你听到了吗
There's that noise. Do you hear that?
好像是地下室传来的
I think it's coming from the basement.
妈
Mom?
我在 亲爱的
Yes, honey?
一切可好
Everything all right?
对 都好
Yep. All good.
这噪音是你发出的吗
Are you making that noise?
什么噪音
What noise?
-或许我们该去看看她 -我不想去
- Maybe we should check on her. - I really don't want to do that.
她被链条拴住了
She's chained up.
我打赌每次有人这么说活死人
I will bet every time someone has said that about the undead,
下场都不好
it has never ended well.
好吧
Okay.
妈 你在干什么
Mom? What are you up to?
看书 有你♥爸♥的消息吗
Oh, just book reading. Any news from your dad?
没 昨晚他从医院打来电♥话♥后就没了
No, not since last night when he called from the hospital, so...
我去 你在啃这柱子吗
Holy shit! Are you chewing the post?
是这样的
Okay, here's the deal.
妈妈在下面快要疯了 我需要出去
Mommy's going a little crazy down here, so I need to get out.
我知道你很担心
And I know you're worried
我会出去杀人
I'm gonna go out there and kill somebody,
但想想所有那些我没有杀的人
but think about all the people I haven't killed.
也就是全世界的人 除了三个人
Literally, everyone in the world, except three people.
艾比
Hey, Abby?
-你该过来看看这个 -好的
- You should come look at this! - Yeah, okay.
抱歉 是你让我来管事的
Look, I'm sorry, but you put me in charge,
我不会放你出去
and I'm not letting you out.
别再啃立柱了 它撑起了整栋房♥子
And stop chewing the post. It holds up the whole fucking house.
工作贴有回复了
We got a hit on the job posting.
有个在纽霍尔的塞尔维亚人愿意呕吐
There's a Serbian gentleman in Newhall willing to vomit.
当然在纽霍尔了 给我他地址
Of course he's in Newhall. Text me his address.
-跟他说我马上过去 -等等 我跟你一起去
- Tell him I'm on my way. - Wait. I'll go with you.
-剩下的血清好了吗 -没有
- Is the rest of the serum done? - Not quite.
我妈像只巨大的爱摆布人的白蚁在啃食房♥子
My mom is eating the house like a giant, manipulative termite,
你得继续研制解药
so you need to keep working on the cure.
-我有辣椒喷雾 -你知道那不是解药
- I have pepper spray. - You know, it's not a cure.
只能阻止她的症状进一步发展
It will only stop her symptoms from progressing.
她不可能挣脱那些铁链的 对吗
And there's no way she can get out of those chains, right?
我在干什么 问这话的人就没有活下来的
Oh, what am I doing? Nobody asks that and lives.
乔 跟我们说说你为什么在这
Joel, why don't you tell us why you're here?
我生气 然后砸了一个人的家
I got upset and trashed someone's house.
但是在这 回想我的行为
But being here and reflecting on my actions,
我认识到我错了 我很抱歉 以后不会再这样了
which were wrong and I'm sorry and will never happen again,
同时让我感觉我准备好回归社会
has made me feel like I'm ready to rejoin society
和各行各业的人互动
and interact with my fellow citizens from all walks of life,
无论是女人 男人
be they women, men,
有疑问 不同种族 高矮胖瘦
questioning, different races, tall or small, thin or large.
他们都对这个伟大国家做出了贡献
They all contribute to the fabric of this great country.
谢谢
Thank you.
你最后好像跑题了
Felt like you got a little off at the end there.
嗯 我搞砸了
Yeah, I fucked that up.
罗恩 跟我们说说你为什么又回来了
Ron, tell us why you've come back to us.
我又被次元生物骚扰了
Well... I am being harassed by the interdimensional beings again.
上周发生了件事 跟我们说说
But something happened last week. Tell us about that.
我妻子去世了
My wife died.
天啊 罗恩 我都不知道
Oh, my God. Ron, I didn't know.
她生病很久了 一直没有好转
She'd been sick and wasn't getting any better.
我让她住在家里 刚给她做完早餐
I had her at home and had just finished making her breakfast.