女子监狱

Orange Is the New Black S05E05

Part 1 Oct. 19, 2019, 9:19 p.m.

快关掉
Turn it off!
在喀拉哈里沙漠毫无防备的猫鼬家族
In the Kalahari Desert, the unsuspecting meerkat clan is unaware
尚未发觉自己即将成为野蛮捕食者的猎物
they are prey to the desert's most savage predators.
猫鼬天生社会性极高
Meerkats are social by nature...
它们在地底挖掘出大型网状洞穴
...burrowing deep into large underground networks,
成群生活种群个体数多达三十只
where they create colonies with up to 30 meerkats in a colony.
老天爷
Jesus Christ.
遥控器在哪里
Where's the remote?
能不能把这群老鼠关掉
Could somebody shut off those rats?
不不不它们不是老鼠
Oh, no, no, they're not rats.
它们是猫鼬而且超级萌
They're meerkats and they are so cute!
看看它们站得像小小人
Look at them, standing up like little people.
我找到遥控器了找到了
Oh, I found the remote! Remote found.
谢谢上帝啊
Thank you. God...
-现在几点了 -六点四十七
- What time is it? - Uh... it is 6:47.
老天这场暴♥动♥的目的
Jesus. And isn't the whole point
不就是为了在监狱能睡个懒觉吗
of a riot that you get to hit snooze on prison?
我的老天爷你们俩看这个
Oh, my God. You guys, look at this.
今晨有报道称
Scattered reports this morning
朱迪·金在利奇菲尔德监狱发生的
that Judy King has been taken hostage at Litchfield Penitentiary
一起疑似恐怖行动中被挟为人♥质♥
in what appears to be a possible terror situation.
-我靠 -目前尚无有关她情况的报道
- Holy shit! - No word yet on her condition...
你是说我们本来可以上房♥顶去吗
You tellin' me that we could have gotten up to that roof?
我们怎么没上去逛逛我喜欢看风景
Why aren't we hanging out up there? You know, I love a view.
-一群蠢货 -老天那是谁
- Fucking morons. - Jesus. Uh, who... who is that?
瑜伽琼斯吗
Is that Yoga?
换福克斯频道我和维尼要看福克斯频道
Change it to Fox. Me and Vinnie, we watch Fox.
想都别想
Absolutely not.
我们现在在利奇菲尔德监狱的现场
Live at the scene here at Litchfield Prison,
这起深夜发生的
as details continue to trickle in
针对朱迪·金及其基♥督♥教信仰的
about the late-night terrorist
恐袭事件细节陆续流出
attack on Judy King and her Christian faith.
有报道指出
Some reports indicate that
该监狱正在上演一场
there is a political and violent uprising
带有政♥治♥和暴♥力♥性质的起义
taking place within the prison.
然而新闻第四频道找到的独家网络视频
But News 4 has found exclusive online footage
则讲述了完全不同的故事
that tells quite a different story.
原来皇家奶油鸡去那里了
That's where the chicken à la king went.
皮尔森先生州长在一号♥线上
Mr. Pearson, the governor's on line one.
哈奇最近怎么样伙计有段日子没见了
Hutch! How's it going, buddy? I haven't seen you since Tommy--
为什么基♥地♥组♥织♥的恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
Why are al-Qaeda terrorists
会在你们监狱的房♥顶上
torturing the red states' favorite chef
折磨红色州人♥民♥最爱的大厨
on the roof of your prison?
我明白情况看起来不妙但是
Uh, look, I know it doesn't look good, but, uh--
在我的选举年这看起来就是场公♥关♥噩梦
It looks like a fucking PR nightmare during my election year.
-你们准备强攻吗 -不她们有人♥质♥
- Are you storming? - Uh, no. They... they have hostages.
世纪挑战公♥司♥不允许发生人♥质♥流血事件
MCC can't have hostage bloodshed.
我们暂时按兵不动
We're... we're standing down.
这是惩应队的建议吗
Is that what CERT advised?
-什么 -惩教紧急应变队-CERT? -Correctional Emergency Response Team.
你没安排惩应队到现场吗
Do you not have a CERT team on the scene?
我们最近在换惩应队
We're sort of between CERT teams right now.
妈的我派支队伍过去
For fuck's sake! I'm sending
我会向世纪挑战公♥司♥收取昂贵费用
a team over and I'm billing MCC up the ass.
你听听他们的伤亡预估评定
You listen to their assessment of casualty risk
然后让他们去平息暴♥动♥
and you let them de-escalate this mess.
我把你当朋友杰克
I consider you a friend, Jack...
但没想到你的处理水平臭成这样
...but I can't believe how badly you shit the bed on this.
比我的小猎犬得屁♥股♥癌时拉的屎还臭
Worse than when my beagle had butt cancer.
真遗憾布兰奇生病了
I'm so sorry to hear about Blanche.
-她还好吗 -狗没事
- Is she okay? - The dog's fine.
让你的犯人们从我电视上消失
Get your inmates off my TV.
你要用屁♥股♥先入镜吗
You steppin' ass first?
如果你想要赢取拉美和黑人市场
If you wanna score the Latin and African American markets,
就要展现丰满的底盘
it's all about that bass.
白人市场的话侧身展示奶♥子♥ 屁屁
White, I just turn to the side, tits, ass.
亚洲人的口味是女学生制♥服♥
And the schoolgirl outfits hits Asians.
-靠你真懂行情啊 -没错
- Shit. You really know your demos. - Yeah.
天啊他们来了
Oh, my God, here they come!
准备好了吗
Are you ready?
我们要出大名了
We're gonna be super famous!
别忘了做笑眼
Don't forget the smize.
不要你做笑眼我做迷离眼和咬舌头
Nuh-uh. You smize. I'm squinching and teeging.
-看这儿 -我也加入
- Over here! - Yo, let me get in there.
瞧瞧你还有那双丰唇
Look at you and those lips.
小鸽说我需要化点妆
Pidge said I needed some drama on my face.
要么擦口红要么涂睫毛膏
It was this or mascara,
我不喜欢往眼睛上抹东西因为会过敏
and I don't like shit around my eyes 'cause I got allergies
我一揉眼看着就像个爱哭鬼似的
and I rub and then I look like one of them girls who cry.
-不错好看 -对
- Oh, it's good. Yeah, cute. - Yeah, mmm-hmm.
我超级喜欢
Uh, I'm totally liking it.
你应该试试嘴唇微撅
You should try doing the prune lips
像奥尔森姐妹一样像这样
like an Olsen twin, like this.
能只要右边两个人吗
All right, can we just get the two on the right?
另外一个看着像男孩
Other one looks like a boy.
让那男生出去
Get him out!
叫他让开对就是你
Get out of the way! Yeah, you!
怎么老娘的花容月貌配不上你们的小照片
What? My drama face ain't good enough for your little pictures?
好不喜欢老娘的脸可能喜欢这个吧
Well, if you don't like my face, maybe you'll like this!
-我的老天爷 -该死
- Oh, my God! - Shit.
永远不要与动物小孩和光腚的人合作
Never work with animals, children or naked buttholes.
你怎么走得像个老年人
Why are you walking like you're 90?
因为我们睡在挖掘机铲斗里背都没知觉了
Because we slept in a digger bucket, and I can't feel my neck.
我之前交往过一个叫迪格[挖掘机]的妹子
I once dated a girl named Digger.
她父母是开墓地的
Her parents ran a cemetery.
她从尸体上偷了枚戒指送我
She stole me a ring off a corpse.
多浪漫啊违法又诡异但是非常浪漫
How romantic. Illegal and creepy, but very romantic.
她为了一个职业滑水运动员离开了我
She left me for a professional water-skier.
她说那是唯一一个穿着救生衣
She said she was the only woman
依旧性感的女人
who ever looked hot in a life vest.
这怎么比得过
How do you fight that?
我们需要更多底垫铺在底下
I think we need more padding. Like a base layer.
比如防水布♥什♥么的
You know, like a... like a tarp or something.
我都没说让你搬来同住小帕
Whoa. I didn't even ask you to move in, Pipes.
你太放肆了
That's, uh... that's pretty presumptuous.
艾丽克斯·沃斯可否恩准我将牢房♥床褥
Alex Vause, may I put my prison-issue mattress
放置在您的挖掘机铲斗旁边
next to your bulldozer scoopie thingy,
并与您一同安渡噩梦
and ride out a nightmare with you?
准了
You may.
你发火的样子会让我不喜欢你吗
Will I not like you when you get very angry?
我要改作他用
I'm repurposing.
想让我帮你扯掉另一只吗
Do you want me to help you rip off the other one?
快把你搞疯了吧
Is it driving you crazy?
没有
No.
有你知道我需要对称
Yes. You know that I need symmetry!
看着就难受是吧
It's hard to look at, huh?
现在你纯属是欺负我了
Now you're just being a bully.
好吧送你作礼物
Okay, fine. This is a gift for you.
不是死尸戒指但也凑合
It's no corpse ring, but it'll have to do.
达娅我一直在找你
Daya! Hey, I've been looking for you.
你找到能吃的东西了吗
You found something to eat okay?
怎么想抢我的果塔饼干呢
Why, you wanna jack me for my Pop-Tart?
我知道你理解不了
Hey. I know you don't understand
我的所作所为和初衷但是
what I did or why I did it, but--
你说得对我理解不了
You're right. I don't understand.
这段时间你♥他♥妈♥一声都没吭过
This whole fucking time you didn't say nothing.
而且你♥他♥妈♥打了我脑袋
And you fucking hit me in my head.
搞不好我落下足球职业伤了
I could have a football injury.
-我头疼得厉害 -你开枪打了警卫
- I got a wicked headache. - You shot a guard.
你表现得不像是个能担责的持枪人
You weren't acting like a responsible gun owner.
我不在乎