奇思妙探（2024）

Elsbeth S03E01

Part 8 Dec. 9, 2025, 9:28 a.m.

if you have a complaint...
直接找我说
...you come to me.
嘿这不是我的垃圾
Hey, this isn't my trash.
真有趣啊斯穆伦警探
Very funny, Detective Smullen.
就是这样
That's it.
我知道你是为他做的
I know you did it for him.
抱歉？
I'm sorry?
我相信你是
I'm sure you are.
至少部分是我是说
About part of it, anyway. I mean,
你不可能料到事情会变成这样
you didn't know that things would turn out this way.
你米奇和斯科蒂
You and Mickey and Scotty--
你们之间有特殊羁绊
you had a special bond,
就像《快乐向前走》的角色
just like the characters in Merrily We Roll Along,
斯科蒂最爱的音乐剧
Scotty's favorite musical,
近期回归重启才被世人重视
underappreciated until the recent revival.
这话有重点吗？
Is there a point to this?
有
Yes.
因为这份羁绊
Because that bond
也给了你们互相牵制的力量
also gave you power over each other.
而斯科蒂利用这份力量
And Scotty used that power
掌控你们的生活
to control your lives,
像是告诉你们不能生孩子
like when he told you not to have kids,
或不让米奇按医嘱休息
or when he wouldn't give Mickey
这些都是他掌控的手段
the break his doctors ordered.
你怎么知道这些？
Well... How do you know all that?
人们愿意告诉传达员的事可多了
It's amazing what people will tell a page.
斯科蒂就跟我说了不少
And Scotty told me a lot.
你的计划是让这看起来
Your plan was to make it look like
像一场不幸的碎纸意外
an unfortunate shredding accident.
毕竟
I mean, after all,
斯科蒂喜欢折磨编剧
Scotty loved to torture the writers with the...
用那噪音折磨
...noise.
但当时没人在场听到
But there was no one there to hear it.
而且
And...
我们把碎页拼回来
we pieced the shredded pages back together.
那是一份包裹
It was a packet that had
里面没有当晚演出用的笑点
no jokes used on the show that night.
那为何斯科蒂要碎纸？
So why was Scotty shredding?
我不知道我没在现场
Well, I don't know. I wasn't there.
看吧这可不是好即兴
See, now, that's not good improv.
更高明的手法是
A better move
你试图把谋杀嫁祸给米奇
was when you tried to pin the murder on Mickey
在他死后只是凶手必须
after he died. Except the killer
去
had to...
替斯科蒂拉紧领带
tighten Scotty's tie
引他走向碎纸机
and then lure him over to the shredder
毫无挣扎痕迹
without any sign of a struggle.
米奇做不到但你可以
Mickey couldn't have done that. But you could,
凭借三十年的交情
using your 30 years of history
再加上一点酒精
and a little alcohol...
操控斯科蒂就位
...to manipulate Scotty into position.
荒谬至极
This is ludicrous.
但的确算是一个精巧计策
Yeah, maybe. But it was a pretty good plan.
直到谋杀发生后你才发现
Until after the murder, when you saw
碎纸机的桶空无一物多亏了跑腿的马修
that the shredder bin was empty, thanks to Matthew the page.
*备胎米奇*的纸我从没忘记清空
I never forgot to empty Mickey Two.
桶里没碎纸就没办法
It couldn't look like an accident if there wasn't
说成意外
shredded paper in the bin.
*备胎米奇*也无法使用
And you couldn't use Mickey Two 'cause Scotty's body...
因为斯科蒂的尸体挡在那里
...was in the way.
于是你飞奔回办公室
So you ran back to your office,
你把最新的文件碎掉
you shredded the latest packet...
再把它取出来
...and you brought that
放进斯科蒂的桶里
and put it in Scotty's bin.
斯穆伦警探曾对我用过类似手法
Detective Smullen tried a similar trick on me,
这才让我想起这招
which made me think of it.
这点我已经道过歉了
For which I have apologized.
不过这些你无法证明
Well, you can't prove any of this.
其实我们能
Actually, we can.
因为事实是
Because it turns out...
没有两台碎纸机会完全一样
no two shredders are the same.
*备胎米奇*的刀片间距
The width between the blades on Mickey Two
比你办公室的
was a quarter of an inch further apart
碎纸机多出四分之一吋
than the blades on the shredder in your office.
只有你跟那个跑腿马修
And only you and Matthew the page
有钥匙能出入那两台碎纸机
had keys to have access both of the shredders.
可当时马修正跟编剧们
But Matthew was with the writers,
看罗南盖恩在提特先生表演脱口秀
watching Ronan Gaines doing standup at Mr. Titters.
我是在巴结人
I was sucking up.
凶手只可能是你罗拉
It had to be you, Laurel.
你米奇和斯科蒂
You and Mickey and Scotty--
你们可是多年的老朋友
you were old friends.
你们三人死了两个
Now two of you are dead.
我没杀米奇
I didn't kill Mickey.
不直接没有
Not directly, no.
我们曾经一切顺利
We had a good thing going.
女士请这边走
Ma'am. This way, please.
你果然知道
You really do know everything
这里所有事不是吗
that goes on around here, don't you?
可以这么说没错
You could say that and be correct.
能帮我个忙吗
Could you do me a favor?
把《迟到一点没关系》和斯科蒂·布里的办公用品拿去
Get your Way Late with Scotty Bristoloffice supplies.
他们不要了太压抑
They don't want 'em anymore. Too depressing.
谢谢你艾尔斯贝丝
Thank you, Elsbeth.
但我还是要用我的风笛订书机
But I'm still gonna use my bagpipe stapler.
谢谢你带来这些
Thank you for bringing all that.
应该能暂时安抚这里的气氛
It should help calm things down here for a while.
当然
Of course.
不过你知道那箱子其实不大
But, you know, the box wasn't that big.
麻烦可还没结束
The trouble isn't just over.
我知道
I know.
也许你该重新思考
Well, maybe you should rethink things.
不
No.
那不可能
That's not possible.
但是我 - 艾尔斯贝丝
But, I... - Elsbeth,
不是裁员就是
it was either those cuts
让你走人
or get rid of you.
那种事
And that is not
我绝不会考虑
something I would entertain.
嘿 - 嘿
Hey. - Hey.
谢谢你陪我度过这段时光
Thanks for a fun time.
你真的给了我灵感
You actually inspired me.
真的吗？ - 其实
Really? -In fact,
我又投了一包稿给《迟到一点没关系》
I submitted another packet to Way Late
罗南盖恩用 200元买♥♥了我的一个笑话
and Ronan Gaines bought one of my jokes for $200.
他买♥♥了？
He did?
是的 - 太棒了哇
Yeah. - That's so good. Wow.
看到了吧？高位不代表人心必变
See? The top job
职位高并不自动造就怪物
doesn't automatically make someone a monster.
这行业啊
This business.
好那么
Okay. So, now
介绍我的新搭档
let's introduce my new sidekick--
唯一愿意接这丢脸工作的人
the only idiot willing to take this humiliating job--
马修《迟到一点没关系》的跑腿！
Matthew theWay Late Page!
谢谢你先生能来这里真高兴罗南
Thank you, sir. So glad to be here, Ronan.
我们喜欢内部提拔 - 我们不打算多给你钱
We like to promote from within. - We don't like to pay you more,
确实没给但很高兴你加入
and we haven't, but glad you're aboard.
需要我帮你拿点什么吗
Can I get you anything?