奇思妙探（2024）

Elsbeth S03E01

Part 4 Dec. 9, 2025, 9:28 a.m.

我带礼物来！
I have gifts!
好
Okay.
这个给你
This is for you.
不用特意准备 - 我才不会空手
You didn't have to do that. - I wouldn't dream
从海外回来呢
of coming back from overseas empty-handed.
好吧康纳警官
Okay, Lt. Connor,
这明明是给你准备的
this had your name on it.
刚刚好谢谢你艾尔斯贝丝
Just right. Thank you, Elsbeth.
不客气
You are so welcome.
华格纳队长
Captain Wagner,
我知道你很爱威士忌
I know how much you love your whiskey.
免税买♥♥的我觉得挺有意思的
Duty free, which I thought was ironic for you.
班纳岱尔18年很不错
Bannerdale 18. Very nice.
谢谢你艾尔斯贝丝 - 不用客气
Thank you, Elsbeth. -You're welcome.
鲍比还有这些酥饼
And Bobby... shortbread.
韩警官显然
Officer Hackett, obviously,
我还不太认识你但
I didn't know you yet, but
我买♥♥了一堆这些可爱的橡皮擦
I got a bunch of these adorable erasers
长得像毛茸茸的高地牛
that look like hairy Highland coos.
那应该真的是一种牛吧
That better be a kind of cow.
给你！这是你的哇！
There you go! There's one for you. Whoa!
哦！ - 哇时差还好吗？
Ooh! -Whoa. So, how's the jet lag?
还能工作吗？
You okay to work?
可以啦只是得
Yes, yes. I just need
来杯超大咖啡提提神
my first big cup of coffee.
嘿现在连咖啡也得自己买♥♥了？
Hey, we pay for coffee now?
我们一直在想办法
We have continued to look at ways
遵守新的预算规范
to follow new budget guidelines.
这是他最客气的说法
Which is his so-polite way of saying,
「我们没钱给你了自求多福吧」
"We've got nothing for you anymore, deal with it."
嗯我相信这不是康纳警官的错
Well, I'm sure it's not Lt. Connor's fault.
对啊嗯
Yeah. Well...
他是数字高手
he's the numbers guy.
没错我就是
It's true. I am.
有人有一块钱吗？
Does anyone have a dollar?
好我想把想法写在卡片上
Okay, I would put my thoughts down on cards,
但嗯
but, um...
储藏室里好像没卡片了
there seem to be no more cards in the supply closet,
没差我已在等奇异笔
which is fine because I'm on the wait list
的名单上啦
for a Sharpie. -How are those
数字算得怎样了？
numbers working out?
很明显这不是意外
Clearly, this was not an accident.
我们同意那谁对他不怀好意？
We agree. So, who had it in for him?
也许米奇不只是找到尸体
Well, maybe Mickey didn't just find the body.
那人多年来每晚都
I mean, the guy was humiliated by Bristol
被布里羞辱
every night for years.
这不就是节目梗吗？
Wasn't that the bit?
经验还是会让人感同身受
The experience can still feel real.
我不清楚
I don't know.
米奇对斯科蒂的死看起来
Mickey seemed pretty broken up
相当悲痛
over Scotty's death.
把碎纸机里的文件
Finished putting all the papers
一一拼回原样
in the shredder back together.
就像《亚果出任务》那一幕
It was like that scene from Argo.
对那是我唯一记得的画面
Yeah, that is the one thing I remember from that movie.
而且还拿了最佳影片
And it won Best Picture.
你找到什么？
What did you find?
是一包
It was a packet--
一位有志编剧投的笑话
jokes submitted by an aspiring writer
想在节目上找份工作
looking for a job on the show.
其实我自己也投过几份稿
I actually submitted a few myself.
我敢打赌他们曾经用过我的笑话
You know, I swear they used a joke of mine once,
只是把「裴洛西」换成「碧昂丝」
they just changed Pelosi to Beyoncé.
而且没付钱？也没署名？
And they didn't give you any money? Or credit?
合约上讲的就是「屁都没有」
Well, I believe the contractual term is "bupkis."
看来斯科蒂·布里一定得罪过不少编剧
Well, sounds like Scotty Bristol must have pissed off
或许有人想报复
a lot of writers. Maybe one of them wanted revenge.
不太可能
Not likely.
为什么不？
And why not?
大多数喜剧编剧
Well, I mean, most comedy writers
遇到斯科蒂·布里偷他们的笑话
would take Scotty Bristol stealing one of their jokes
会当作激励继续创作
as encouragement to keep going.
我们这行悲哀得很
We're a sad bunch.
那节目的编剧呢？
Well, what about the writers on the show?
对斯科蒂偷笑话
How do they feel about Scotty stealing jokes
还丢进巨型碎纸机有何感想？
and feeding theirs to a giant shredder?
讲到重点了
Exactly.
我们得跟他们聊聊
We need to talk to them.
你看右手边就是办公室
And if you look to your right, you'll see the office
我们的主持人斯科蒂·布里被发现身亡之处
where our host, Scotty Bristol, was found dead.
那一定很难过吧
That must have been hard for you.
真的
You know, it was.
我知道他名声褒贬不一
I know he had a mixed reputation,
但他对我总是好
but Scotty was always so nice to me.
他跟我说过当年做即兴演出的点滴
He told me all about his early days doing improv.
真惊人人们会告诉一个助理多少秘密
It's amazing what people will tell a page.
每次我去清空*备胎米奇* 他都会回忆往事
He'd reminisce whenever I went in to empty Mickey Two.
*备胎米奇*？
Mickey Two?
那是大家对
That's everybody's
碎纸机的昵称
nickname for the shredder.
有点刻薄
It's kinda mean.
你总是清空*备胎米奇*吗？
Did you always empty Mickey Two?
那是斯科蒂希望的
That's what Scotty wanted.
我是唯一非清洁员拥有钥匙
I'm the only non-janitor with a key
能进斯科蒂和罗拉办公室的人
to Scotty's and Laurel's offices.
他们对碎纸机都很敏感
The two of them were touchy about their shredders.
或许因为斯科蒂爱偷别人的稿子
Maybe because Scotty liked to steal material.
这行业啊 - 那你能告诉我们
This business. - Well, what can you
关于斯科蒂和碎纸机的事吗？
tell us about Scotty and the shredder?
*备胎米奇*？那家伙一开碎纸机就像在警告我们谁才是老大
Mickey Two? He liked to fire it up to remind us who's boss.
不过碎纸机取这昵称也好笑
That's a funny nickname for a shredder, though.
我们叫它*备胎米奇* 就像《小小神奇店》里的奥黛莉2号♥
Well, we named it Mickey Two, like Audrey Two in Little Shop,
因为就像真的米奇
because just like the real Mickey,
斯科蒂让它整天吞垃圾
Scotty made it eat crap all day.
罗拉知道这昵称吗？
Did Laurel know the nickname?
知道但她从不笑因为她是管理阶层
Yes, but she would never laugh, because she's management.
或许也是因为你们都在取笑她丈夫
Or maybe because you were all making fun of her husband.
那是比较感性的说法
Well, that's the sentimental version.
我们在斯科蒂的碎纸机里找到编剧的投稿包
We found a writer's packet in Scotty's shredder.
当然找到了
Duh. Of course you did.
他用那些东西
Well, him using that stuff
肯定让你们气炸了吧？
must have really burned you guys up?
他应该相信专业人士
He should have trusted the professionals.
对啊 - 对吧？
Yeah. -Yeah?
有想过报复吗？
Did it make you want to get even?
等等
Wait.
我们以为这只是意外
We thought this was an accident.
这是谋杀案吗？
Is this a murder investigation?
一定是罗南太明显了
It had to be Ronan. It's so obvious.
他想抢斯科蒂的位置
He wanted Scotty's job.
拜托就是他 - 史蒂芬在上一季收尾派对上跟斯科蒂睡过
Come on, he's the guy. -Steph! Steph slept with Scotty
从那之后就一直是事实
at the last season wrap party and ever since then that's true.
她完全迷上他了
she became totally obsess...
迷恋 - 闭嘴太离谱了
obsessive. -Shut up. That is just stupid.
嫌疑人 - 不过我敢打赌杀他的人是你
Suspect. -But I actually bet it was you that killed him.
我才不会跟你睡啦我大多数时候 - 你们
Wouldn't sleep with you, and I mostly... -You guys...
大家停！
Guys, stop!
这不是表演
This is not a bit.
方便告诉我们你昨晚在哪吗？
You mind telling us where you were last night?
我在格林威治村的
Yes. I did two sets