废柴联盟（2009）

Community S05E05

Part 2 Oct. 19, 2020, 1:15 p.m.

I'm Criminology Professor Buzz Hickey,
我是犯罪学教授巴兹·汉基
And this...this is just a little something I threw together.
这不过是我随便组装的小玩意
Jump!
跳
Centipede, centipede! Okay!
变身蜈蚣收到
Pull harder! Pull harder! Pull harder!
用力用力啊
My same-sex celebrity crush is Nathan Fillion!
内森·菲利安[灵书妙探主演]是我男神
Nathan Fillion!
内森·菲利安
Jeff, Annie! Get to Shirley Island.
杰夫安妮去雪瑞岛
We'll meet you there.
那边见
Abed, save yourself!
阿布蒂自求多福吧
Abed, before Troy "dies in lava,"
阿布蒂在特洛伊死于熔岩之前
you can save yourself emotionally
你完全可以自救的
by honestly experiencing the pain of him leaving Greendale!
只要用心感受他要离开学校的那种痛苦就行了
We can do this in three steps. Britta, jump to that trash can.
三步就能搞定布雷塔跳到垃圾桶上
Troy, start inchworming.
特洛伊变身尺蠖虫
What's the third step?
第三步是什么
The third step's survival. Good luck, Britta.
第三步是幸存祝好运布雷塔
Seriously? Troy!
不是吧你特洛伊
Sorry, Britta, Abed knows best.
对不住了布雷塔阿布蒂最清楚
But I'll always remember you as kind of slowing us down
你永远活在我心中你这个拖后腿
and complaining a lot.
爱抱怨的存在
Oh, my...no!
妈呀不要啊
They abandoned you?
他们抛弃你了
This game's doing bad things to people.
这游戏真是激发了人类的丑恶面
Now me, I'm just in it for the money.
我是奔着钱才参加的
My son's getting gay married.
我儿子要跟他男朋友结婚了
The flowers alone, you have no idea.
光是那些花想都不敢想
I get it.
我懂
I lived in New York.
我在纽约住过
All right, Miss Perry, climb aboard.
好吧派利小姐上车吧
It's fake killing time.
就当你已经被我杀了
Welcome to Shirley Island.
欢迎来到雪瑞岛
No furniture beyond this point.
这边不能带家具
Leave your weapons at the door
把武器丢在门边
and any spare doors at the entrance.
多余的门放入口处
Then came the now-now times...
现在是实况传输时间
When the floors were covered
地上坐满了
with the burny touch.
愤怒的小鸟
You made it. Friends!
你们成功了好伙伴
Welcome to Shirley Island, where all your dreams come true,
欢迎来到雪瑞岛这里是你美梦成真之地
if you dream of standing on a table and pissing in a jar.
如果你的梦想是站在桌上尿在罐里
Where's Britta?
布雷塔呢
She didn't make it. Oh, that's too bad.
我们失去她了太遗憾了
Poor Britta. It's okay.
可怜的布雷塔没事的
Her sacrifice got us this far,
她牺牲自己成全了我们
and now we can't lose.
现在只许成功不许失败
Why not?
为什么
Because now we're on Shirley Island,
因为我们现在身处雪瑞岛
and according to legend... so is the orb.
据传说宝球也在此地
I'm sure I have no idea what you're speaking of.
完全不懂你们在说什么
This is a place of peace. And profit.
这里一片祥和还有钱赚
Come again?
你说什么
You're not really playing, Shirley.
你没有真的投入游戏雪瑞
You're a merchant, and more power to you.
你是个商人无上的权利归你
But don't withhold power from others just to make money.
但别为了赚钱独揽大权
We want the orb.
我们要宝球
Abed.
阿布蒂
Listen, I'm still a little raw from
一想到布雷塔刚才的遭遇
what happened with Britta back there.
我的心还是一阵阵隐隐作痛
I mean, fun is fun, but I don't want my last day here
好玩是好玩但我不想在这的最后一天
to be a day where everyone hates me.
还被众人唾弃
Last day?
最后一天
Citizens of Shirley Island!
雪瑞岛的岛民们
What have you brought to my door?
你们把什么鬼东西招到我这来了
Stay back!
退后
My God, it's Hickey.
天呐是汉基
And he's got Chair Walkers!
他还带着行尸走椅
Come out with your feet on the floor,
脚触地站出来吧
and there will be no need for nudging or jostling.
这样我就不必费力强推横扫了
I did not skip my son's birthday for second place!
我不惜错过儿子的生日必须夺冠
I want to say something to you guys about mental health.
我要跟你们普及点心理健康知识
Is that Britta? Is she alive?
是布雷塔吗她没死
Why did you think she was dead?
你们为什么认为她死了
We kind of...left her.
我们算是把她丢下了吧
Left her for dead?
把她丢下送死
Sounds bad when you put it that way.
你这么说太邪恶了
Can you put it a way that sounds good?
能说得婉转一点吗
You do realize this isn't just a pile of chairs, right?
你们都知道这不只是一堆椅子对吧
This is a crib,
这是一道栅栏
and you're curled up inside there, sucking your thumb,
你们蜷缩在这里吸吮大拇指
because you're too scared to say good-bye.
因为你们不敢向这个世界说再见
Well, it's time to grow up.
都成熟点吧
The adults are here, and we're gonna tear down your fort.
成人们来了你们的要塞即将被摧毁
Chair walkers, attack!
行尸走椅出击
My name was Vicki! Tell my story!
我名叫薇琪请别忘记我
These are my only pants! I can't get them dirty!
我就这么一条裤子不能弄脏了
I'm actually British!
其实我是英国人
Leonard! Butter 'em up!
伦纳德上黄油
You got it!
遵命
Cirque du so long, you high-stepping acro-bastards!
马戏团的把戏玩够了吧踩高跷的小丑们
Do you have any rolling chairs?
你有轮椅吗
Behind the curtain.
在窗帘后面
Abandon fort! Women and man-children first!
放弃堡垒妇女和伪正太先撤离
Hey, seat feet! Chair to dance?
椅子高跷队来比一场吗
Yes!
作战成功
Britta, I'm your friend.
布雷塔我可是你的朋友
I can't hear dead people, Annie.
死人的话我听不到安妮
I'm in a world of imagination.
这里是想象的国度
Then imagine what the floor looks like.
那就想象一下地板的感觉
I don't have to. I'll just imagine
我无需如此只要想象一下
Where you're about to be!
你待会儿的处境即可
That's the same as imagining the floor.
这不就是我说的意思嘛
Then you just admitted that's where you'll be.
那你是承认自己会去滚地板了吧
Knock, knock, Britta. I'm not gonna say
咚咚咚布雷塔我才不会回答
"Who's there?" Because someone on the floor is knocking.
「是谁啊」我知道是地板上那家伙在敲门
Well, that's lame. You have to say, "Who's there?"
你赖皮你必须说「是谁啊」
Floor! What?
是地板啥
That's who's there! Yeah!
敲门的是地板没错
But it's for you!
但要滚地板的人是你
Shirley, give us the orb, and we can save Shirley Island.
雪瑞交出宝球让我们拯救雪瑞岛吧
The orb can't save Shirley Island
宝球是无法拯救雪瑞岛的
Because Shirley Island is the orb.
因为岛即是球球即是岛
In a cool way like Keyser Soze
这是「凯撒·苏尔」式的情节发展
Or a lame way like Jewel of the Nile?
还是「尼罗河宝藏」式的烂片剧情
You tell Buzz Hickey that Shirley Bennett said...
去告诉巴兹·汉基雪瑞·伯纳德曾说过
Well, I don't want to waste your time.
算了不浪费时间了
Just think of something cool and give me credit.
记得我的功劳帮我想些霸气的台词
But the door I'm knocking on is your home,
我敲的是你家的门
So if I'm the floor, it means you're dead.
如果我是地板说明你已经死了
If you're the floor, you're already dead.
如果你是地板你早就死了
Just do it right! Knock, knock!
我们重新来过咚咚咚
Knock, knock!
咚咚咚
Who's there, bitch? Floor!
是谁在敲门贱♥人♥ 是地板
Floor!
地板
Troy and Abed in a bubble
「特哥布弟」合体泡泡
Hickey, you chicken.
汉基你个胆小鬼
He gutted us. Retreat!
他割破了宝球快撤
Hello?
有人吗
Hello?
有人吗
I'm the only one left.
我是唯一的幸存者