废柴联盟（2009）

Community S05E04

Part 2 Oct. 19, 2020, 1:15 p.m.

He did mean to say, "Butts Carlton."
他确实是这么想的
Mr. Barnes, did you get angry when Mr. Hawthorne told you
巴恩斯先生霍桑先生告诉你
Fat Albert died of diabetes?
胖子阿伯特死于糖尿病时你是不是很生气
Yes, like any American would.
对全美人♥民♥都气坏了
Angry enough to murder him? No.
气到想杀了他吗没有
Is it true that you and Abed Nadir
你和阿布蒂·纳德尔
have an elaborate doomsday escape plan
精心策划了一个末日逃亡计划
to be used in the event of zombie attacks?
应准备应对僵尸入侵是否属实
We may have a designated rendezvous point
我们是定了一个会合地
and a couple of bugout bags
准备了几个逃难包
filled with gold coins and condoms
里面装满了金币和套套
just in case we need to bargain our way onto a boat.
只是为了防止哪天突然就要上船
The gold coins are for buying food.
金币是用来买♥♥食物的
Does your doomsday plan account for the welfare
你的末日逃亡计划考虑到
of any of your other friends?
你的其他朋友了吗
Pass. Answer the question.
下一个问题正面回答问题
No. Troy! Rude!
没有特洛伊太伤人了
It's a doomsday plan, not a picnic plan.
这是末日逃亡哎又不是野餐
Do you really wanna see the horrors
就为了坐个船你们真愿意目睹
we might have to endure just to get on a boat?
我们将承受的那些苦难吗
I guess not. That's a lie.
应该不愿意撒谎
He's doing it again.
他又来了
Pierce is doing it again.
皮尔斯又来了
Mr. Chang, state your name.
昌先生你的全名
Benjamin Franklin Chang, ready to deal out the truth.
本杰明·富兰克林·昌真♥相♥时刻为你敞开
Nothing to hide. Let's do this.
绝无隐瞒开炮吧
Have you ever masturbated in the study room?
你是否在自习室里「撸过」
Mr. Nadir, state your name. Abed Nadir.
纳德尔全名阿布蒂·纳德尔
Have you ever 9/11'd anyone?
你是否对他人进行过恐怖袭击
Nope. When you were a child,
没有你小时候
did you ever kill a squirrel with a slingshot
用弹弓打死过一只松鼠
and was surprised that you felt nothing and wondered
你惊讶自己没有丝毫良心不安于是乎
if you were capable of doing it to a human?
你开始寻思下次是否能拿人当靶子是不是
No.
不是
Do you and Troy still actively use
你和特洛伊是否仍经常不经杰夫的允许
Jeff's Netflix account without his permission?
就使用他的奈飞[在线DVD租赁商]账号♥
Wait, what? You told Pierce that?
等下搞毛你告诉皮尔斯了
You logged in at our place
你在我们家登陆之后
and never logged out, so we use it.
一直没退我们就接着用了
Is that why my review of the grey
我的差评老是在变
is constantly changing?
原来是你干的
Yes, stop giving it four stars.
对别给四星了
I like Liam Neeson!
我超爱利亚姆·尼森[辛德勒名单主演]
Then send him a message about the roles he chooses.
那请转告他挑角色的时候长点心吧
Look, this is not the issue! You're stealing from me!
问题不是这个你这是盗窃行为
And as your roommate, you're making me an accomplice.
作为你的室友你把我也变成了从犯
I had no idea. Lie.
事实上我毫不知情撒谎
Why would I even try that?
我♥干♥嘛要跟高科技较劲呐
State your name please, Miss.
姑娘你的全名
Annie Edison.
安妮·埃迪生
Miss Edison, did you use your exceptional intelligence
埃迪生小姐你是否用你过人的智慧
and organizational skills to plot the foolproof murder
和杰出的组织技巧密谋了一次简单白目的谋杀
of Pierce Hawthorne?
杀死了皮尔斯·霍桑
Aww! And no.
哎哟没有啦
Is it true that you overcharged Troy and Abed
你是否向特洛伊和阿布蒂
for their share of the rent?
收取了过高的租金
Pierce!
死皮尔斯
Annie?
安妮
Yes, but for a good reason.
是的但我有正当原因
You guys know you're bad with money.
你们不会理财
I padded your share of the rent by $10
我从你们的租金里抽取10刀
and I've been putting it into a savings account
然后存进银行
that yields 4%.
有4%的收益呢
You'll be thanking me in six years
六年后你们发现账户里有86刀的时候
when you find out you have $86.
就会感谢我了
That's jacket money.
够买♥♥一件夹克呢
Oh, did you hear that, Abed?
听到了吗阿布蒂
We've been washing paper plates and making our own toothpaste.
虽然我们现在洗纸盘自♥制♥牙膏
But don't you worry.
但别着急
When we have robot bodies on the moon,
等机器人登上月球
we can share a free jacket.
我们就能同穿一件免费的夹克了
Annie, you should know better than to horde money.
安妮除了圈钱你真该干点别的啊
That's a stereotype.
真是一成不变
Was that antisemitism? No! That's sensitivity.
这是反犹太主义吗不是太敏感
It's anti-semitic to do things like that
明知道自己是犹太人还这么做
when you know full well you're jewish.
这才是反犹太呢
We could have bought a tire
我们可以拿那钱买♥♥个轮胎
for our tire swing with that money.
做轮胎秋千呢
Or your own Netflix account?
或者自己注册个奈飞账号♥
Liam Neeson? Not that great. Your rating system is flawed.
利亚姆·尼森一般般你根本不会打分
All right!
好了
Let's begin.
开始吧
Wait, wait.
等等
What do you mean, "begin"?
你说「开始」是什么意思
That completes the calibration round of questioning.
第一轮校准问答结束
We're ready to begin the formal inquest.
我们可以开始正式讯问了
I think we're ready to end.
我觉得可以结束了
We've humored this long enough.
我们忍♥够了
Jeff...It's for Pierce.
杰夫都是为了皮尔斯
Look, respect for the dead is only a thing
尊重逝者只是因为
because the dead usually don't do any more damage.
他不会再给我们带来伤害了
That's true.
真理啊
You can quit any time you like.
不能由着你们想走就走
But it should be noted that Mr. Hawthorne's estate
不过我应告知你们霍桑先生的资产价值
is worth over $20 million
超过2000万美元
and only those cleared of his murder
只有洗清谋杀嫌疑的人
can receive their bequeathments.
才能得到遗产
I'm only gonna say this once.
我只说一次
Clearly, Pierce is trying to lure us into a labyrinth of
显然皮尔斯想要把我们引入
emotional manipulation and strategic instigation.
一场情感操控和战略性教唆的迷宫
And I think we're all smart enough to know
我认为我们有这个判断能力
we should quit while we're not ahead.
知道我们应该在陷得太深前退出
I do believe we should... Yes, definitely.
我的确这样认为是的没错
Quit while we're ahead. Absolutely.
在陷得太深前退出绝对的
They're all lying.
他们都在说谎
We all know that, you judgmental bitch!
我们心里清楚你个评判别人的贱♥人♥
Miss Perry, have you eaten at the sandwich shop
派利小姐你光顾过伯纳德太太和霍桑先生
started by Mrs. Bennetter and Mr. Hawthorne?
联手开的三明治店吗
Yes.
光顾过
And what sandwich would you order from Shirley's Sandwiches ?
你在雪瑞的店里点什么三明治
The only one I can, the helen of soy with no mayo.
唯一的素食三明治海伦大豆不加蛋黄酱
Helen of soy. Are you aware that in order
海伦大豆你知道雪瑞为了省钱
to save money, Shirley stopped using real tofu
不再使用真正的豆腐
and replaced it with a midwestern tofu substitute
而是换了中西部的豆腐替代品
called "Meatfu"?
「肉腐」
Oh, my god!
老天啊
It's still not actually meat...legally.
不是肉从法律上讲
You have never respected anything that I hold sacred!
你从来不尊重我尊崇的东西
I'm sorry! Shirley, did you know
抱歉雪瑞你知道
that Britta was high on marijuana at your son's baptism?
布雷塔在你儿子洗礼上吸大♥麻♥吸嗨了吗
I'm sorry?
啥玩意
Well, no higher than usual. Not true.
没比平常嗨说谎
You did drugs in my church?
你在我家教堂吸毒
No, I did drugs in the parking lot of your church.
没有我在你家教堂的停车场吸的毒
How else do you expect somebody
不然你要人家
to sit through something like that?
怎么熬过这么长时间
At least with a bris there's an element of suspense.
至少犹太割礼还有点紧张气氛
Well, next time, I'll have Cheech and Chong do the warm-up!
那下次我让「奇昌二人组」暖场好了
Guys, these questions are obviously designed
伙计们这些问题就是为了
to turn us against each other.
让我们窝里斗