I did great.
当然不错
Little preachy.
话多了点
You got a lot of shine on you, Tina.
你光芒四射 蒂娜
How did you get equal time on the school network?
你是怎么争取到校园广播网的相同时段的
I told Principal Spoors I had incriminating pictures of him.
我跟校长说我有一些他的犯罪图片
Because I drew some incriminating pictures of him.
因为我画了几张他的犯罪图片
Great, let's do this.
好极了 我们开工吧
蒂娜新闻时间
瓦格斯塔夫小学遭遇危机
罪魁祸首"变♥态♥屎者"
These halls are calm now.
此时大厅十分安静
But on Wednesday, it was a different story.
但就在周三 情形则截然不同
I left my shoebox diorama for a minute
我离开我的鞋盒透视模型没一会
and someone pooped in it.
就有人往上泼了屎
It was about the Industrial Revolution.
我做的是有关工业革命的模型
Some call him the Mad Pooper.
有人称他为变♥态♥屎者
My mom calls him the Butt ler.
我妈叫她"屎男仆"
By any name,
无论名字如何
these brown thumbtacks tell a tale of terror.
每一个棕色标记都诉说着一个惊悚瞬间
Excuse me, can I go get my medicine
抱歉 我能去护士办公室
at the nurse's office?
拿下药么
Shh. I'm watching this.
嘘 我正看这个呢
Oh. Oh, no.
不是吧
Who would do such a thing?
谁会做出这种事呢
We turn to an expert, Mr. Frond.
我们询问了相关专家 福旺德老师
It's someone trying to communicate.
罪犯是想借此与外界沟通
Likely, a foreign exchange student.
很有可能是交换留学生
He or she has something inside them
他心中郁积着
they desperately want to get out.
拼命想要发泄出来的东西
Rage? Poo.
愤怒么 便便
And what do Wagstaff students think?
瓦格斯塔夫学生对此怎么看
My message to the Mad Pooper is:
我要对变♥态♥屎者说
Grow up! I did.
成熟点吧 我就变成熟了
Whoever the Mad Pooper is, he or she
无论变♥态♥屎犯是谁
is probably not finished.
他很有可能不会就此罢休
And if they're not, I'm not.
屎犯不落网 我也就不会放弃
In the hall, I'm Tina Belcher.
我是蒂娜·贝尔彻 在大厅为您报道
And we're clear.
收工
Yes, I did it.
是的 我做到了
Take that, Tammy.
接招吧 苔米
And Holly Hunter.
还有霍利·亨特
I lied, we're not clear.
我错了 还没结束
Okay, now we're clear.
好了 现在结束了
I'll just edit that part out.
我会把刚才那段剪了的
Oh, okay, good.
好的 很好
校内再次发现便便
变♥态♥屎犯大笔之作
变♥态♥屎犯作品:第二排第一个
瓦格斯塔夫小学地图 餐厅
音乐厅
Ah, damn it, we got poop scooped!
该死 我们被别人捷"屎"先登了
Tina's story is all anyone's talking about.
每个人都在谈论蒂娜的报道
Tammy, what happened?
苔米 怎么搞的
Well, you said gaga, not caca.
你说要疯癫 不要便便啊
This caca is gaga!
这个便便就很疯癫
Now get me that story.
去给我挖它的新闻
I don't know how.
怎么挖
Do it, or I'll replace you with the weird twins.
你不干我就让怪咖双胞胎换你
Back to you, Andy!
话筒交还给你 安迪
Back to you, Ollie!
话筒交还给你 奥利
Whoa, okay, no, no, no! Forget it.
行了 停停停 当我没说
Hey, Tina, great Mad Pooper reporting.
蒂娜 那个变♥态♥屎犯的报道不错嘛
Thanks.
谢谢夸奖
Can I copy you like I do in math class?
我能抄不 就像我抄你的数学作业一样
Real news isn't about copying.
做新闻和抄作业可不一样
And you shouldn't copy me in math.
你也不该抄我的数学作业
Yeah, well, you should get a tutor,
我劝你找个家教
C'cause I got a "C."
因为我得的是
You got a "C"? Wait, I got a "D."
你得的C 等等 可我得的是D啊
You know what? I'll do my own story.
不给抄算了 我自己去找
And it'll be way better than yours, you lame pon.
肯定会比你的好上一百倍 笨蛋
Good, I hope it is. It will be.
很好 祝你成功 必须的
Because then we'll have more information
因为这样一来
about the Mad Pooper...
我就又多了一条变♥态♥屎犯的线索
Tina, we're trash talking; stop turning it into
蒂娜 我跟你吵架呢
a normal conversation.
别搞成好像在开国会一样
Oh. Sorry. Um, skank?
抱歉 烂货
That's much better!
好多了
Uh, I hate your new hair color.
你新发型真丑
Give it to me!
继续
Your eye shadow is a little much.
你的眼影画得有点过了
In the face! My face!
还不够 再猛一点
大事件
Our top story: is Tina the Mad Pooper?
今日头条 蒂娜就是变♥态♥屎犯吗
What if actual surveillance footage existed
如果监控录像拍到了蒂娜的作案证据
showing Tina in the act?
你会怎么看呢
Let's go to a reenactment of what that footage
我们根据监控录像拍到的内容
might look like.
为大家模拟重现了当时的场景
She was always so quiet.
她总这么安静
Yeah, she kept to herself.
对 她都把自己封闭起来
Yeah, she did. She did.
确实如此 确实如此
So, did Tina create the very story she reported on?
那么 这一切是否是蒂娜一手策划的呢
Mr. Grant is here to comment.
我们请到了格兰特先生谈谈他的看法
When Tina auditioned, frankly,
老实说 蒂娜来面试的时候
I was physically afraid of her ambition.
她的野心让我感到了身心的威胁
She would've done anything to get on TV.
为了上电视 她可以不择手段
And now, apparently, she has.
很明显 目前看来 她确实这么做了
Ah. And what if WSN had an exclusive video confession?
我们还有蒂娜亲口承认起罪行的独家视频
Me Tina are Mad Pooper.
我 蒂娜 是 变♥态♥屎犯
You don't believe that
你们不会因为电视上那么说
just because it was on TV, right?
就真的相信吧
Got it. Tina?
明白 蒂娜
Principal's office, now.
去校长办公室 马上
I didn't do it.
不是我♥干♥的
Follow the money.
追踪"屎"迹
此处借用水门事件中的经典名言 前联邦调查局副局长费尔特对记者作出的关键指示 "追踪钱迹"
I'll take a poop detector test.
我愿意接受便便检测器测试
Poop on me once, shame on you.
泄我一次 其错在你
Poop on me twice, we're not best friends anymore!
泄我两次 我们不再是挚友
瓦格斯塔夫小学
It's not me, it was a reenactment.
不是我 那只是个模拟的视频
If it didn't happen, then how could they reenact it?
若非真的发生过 他们又怎么模拟呢
Huh. Uh, yeah.
也是哦
You should be a teacher instead of secretary, Ms. Schnur.
当秘书真是屈才了 你该去当老师
I know.
我一直这么觉得
Louise, why are you here?
露易丝 你来这儿干嘛
Tammy didn't frame you.
苔米没陷害你啊
Unrelated charge.
我犯了别的事儿
咨♥询♥顾问室 福旺德
And now we wait.
好戏即将上演
At least you're guilty of something.
至少你是犯了事儿
I got framed.
我是被陷害的
Cry to Principal Spoors when he gets back
等斯普尔斯校长从禁烟大会回来
from the anti smoking assembly.
跟他哭去吧
Oh, my God, the assembly!
天哪 禁烟大会
The whole school is there.
全校都会参加
Can you think of a better place
你还能想到比那儿更好的
for the Mad Pooper to strike?
变♥态♥屎犯作案地点吗
The Super Bowl, American Idol,
超级碗 美国偶像
Westminster Dog Show, upside down roller coaster,
西敏寺犬展 上下颠倒的过山车
International Space Station,
国际空间站
yoga retreat, inside a T shirt gun...
瑜伽静修 藏匿于衣内的手♥枪♥
If I could just get out of here,
如果我能从这儿出去的话
I could clear my name.
我就能洗清罪名了
I'll take care of Ms. Schnur.
我来搞定舒娜老师
Oh, no, look, they're towing a high mileage, smallish car
天 快看 有人在往一辆
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