开心汉堡店
Bob's Burgers S07E05
Part 2
March 7, 2020, 5:21 p.m.
开玩笑的
Just kidding.
我没有秘书
I don't have a secretary.
好好笑
Oh. It's very funny.
要来点黄油糖饼干吗
You guys want a butterscotch cookie?
我一个客户做的
One of my clients made them for me.
看起来非常咪西咪西
They look delicioso.
我的天 真是好吃
Oh, my God, these are good!
-鲍勃 -好吧 我也来一块
- Bob? - Uh, sure, I'll have one.
我再吃一块 好吃
Ooh, I'll have one more. Mmm. Good.
好了 拿出我的"税"克斯
All right, let me just pull out my tax-ophone.
吹起来
And tune it up.
我们直接开始可以吗
Okay, let's just get started, could we?
我们先确认一下意见是否统一
Okay, let's make sure we're on the same page here.
-我们要17层酱 对吗 -对
- We're making 17 layer dip, correct? - Correct.
但是不要第13层 因为不吉利
But we won't put in a 13th layer because it's bad luck.
我去冰箱里
I'm going to visit the produce drawers
找找老妈藏起来的培根丁
and look for mom's hidden bacon bits
她以为我们不知道
that she thinks we don't know about.
喵了个咪的
Xanadu.
吉恩 快来看
Gene. Come. See.
这啥玩意
What is it?
比老爸大腿内侧还软
It's softer than the tops of Dad's legs.
我知道这是什么了
Oh, I know exactly what it is.
这是哈密瓜
It's a cantaloupe.
记不记得有次老妈在商店
Remember when Mom put it under her shirt
把它放衣服里 假装自己多了个胸
at the grocery store and pretended she had another boob,
然后店里的人非让她买♥♥
and then they made her buy it?
那都是三年前的事了
That was three years ago!
-我们得把这玩意扔了 -什么
- We got to throw it. - Wh-What?
我们把它从太平梯扔到后巷去
We got to throw it off the fire escape into the back alley.
好 等等 还是算了
Yes! Wait, maybe no.
这个想法好像不太好
This seems like possibly a bad idea
会给我们惹上麻烦
that could get us into trouble.
鉴于我是管事的 所以
And I guess I'm in charge, so...
吉恩 别想太多
Gene, don't overthink it.
千载难逢的机会
This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
我们从来没有单独在家里待过
We've never been home alone before,
也从来没找到过烂哈密瓜
and we've never found a rotten cantaloupe before.
你是想说 这证明有上帝指引吗
Are you saying this is proof there's a God?
我没说不是
I'm not saying it isn't.
吉恩 当生活给你一个烂瓜
Gene, when life hands you moldy melons,
你就用它做烂瓜汁
you make moldy melon-ade.
好 走吧 去扔个烂瓜炸♥弹♥
All right, let's do it. Let's throw a melon!
就是这样 上道了 胖哥哥
That's the spirit! There you go, large bro!
乔
Joe.
乔 乔 乔
Joe, Joe, Joe.
我从来没这么想过乔
I've never even thought about Joe that way before,
但是也许他一直这么想我
but maybe he's been thinking about me that way all along.
也许他今天看着镜子
Maybe today, he looked at himself in the mirror,
告诉自己 就是今天
and he said, "Today's the day
告诉蒂娜你的心
that you tell Tina how you feel."
他现在可能正乱着呢
He's probably a mess right now.
我得再眼神交流一下
I've got to make eye contact again. I...
可是从这里看不到
I can't see him from this position though!
好吧 把桌子转过去
All right, time to turn my desk.
留堂是两个小时
Detention is two hours.
如果每五分钟挪一英寸
If I move the desk an inch every five minutes,
90分钟后 我就可以看到乔了
I'll be able to see Joe's eyes in about 90 minutes.
-开始 -蒂娜
- Here goes. - Tina.
不要挪桌子
No moving your desk.
烦
Damn it!
我再想别的办法 乔 等我
I'll find another way. Wait for me, Joe.
我跟你们核实一下
Okay. I just want to verify that
你们今年的退休供金是 零
this year your retirement contribution was... zero.
没错
That sounds right.
抱歉 我接个电♥话♥
Oh, I'm sorry, I have to get that.
今天我放了帕梅拉假
I sent Pamela home early today.
记得
Just...
记得吗
Remember?
我没有秘书
There's nobody there.
记得
I-I remember.
喂 我是杰拉尔德
Hello. This is Gerald.
蒂姆 你好
Oh, hey, Tim.
对 饼干收到了
Yeah, I've got the cookies right here.
好吧
Okay.
不管发生什么 都不能吃这些饼干
Under no circumstances should we eat these cookies?
-我的天 -什么
- Oh, my God. - Oh, my... What?
好吧 但是
Right, but...
我们吃了一点
Let's just say maybe we ate some.
我吃了两块
I-I had two.
我只吃了一块
Uh, I-I only had one.
喂 我吃了三块
I had three, hello!
好的 谢谢你告诉我们
Okay, well, uh, thanks for telling us.
拜拜
Bye.
-杰拉尔德 怎么了 -怎么回事
- Gerald, what's happening? - What's going on?
我给你们的饼干里
Uh, it turns out the cookies I gave you
有大♥麻♥ 很多
have marijuana in them... A lot of it.
不
Oh, no.
貌似是
I-I guess
蒂姆做了两袋饼干
Tim made two batches of cookies.
这是给他妈妈的那袋
These were for his mom.
他妈妈吃了那袋并没有嗨起来 所以
She apparently ate hers and didn't get high, so...
不 不 不
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.
我们不能大白天的嗑嗨啊
We can't get stoned in the middle of the day.
我们是大人了 还有小孩
We're old. We have kids!
天哪 完了
Oh, God. This is bad.
坏饼干 虽然很好吃
Stupid cookies! They were good though.
-我再吃一块 -琳 不要
- Maybe I'll just have one more. - Lin, no.
吉恩 我们要创造历史了
Gene, we are about to make history.
三 二
And here we...
一
Uh-oh. ...go!
不
No...!
-什么鬼 -我去
- What the...?! - Ugh, dude.
我的天 是洛根吗
Oh, my God. Is that Logan?
露易丝·贝尔彻
Louise Belcher.
躲 躲 躲
Hide. Hide. Hide. Hide. Hide. Hide. Hide. Hide.
真是让我今天中头彩啊
Oh, you just made my day.
我一直想发泄
I wanted to work out some of this hostility
自己抑制不住的敌意
I'm feeling all the time,
斯汪森医生说这很正常
which Dr. Swanson says is totally normal,
但我一直在想 怎么发泄
but I was like, how am I gonna do that?
现在我知道了
Now I know.
我要取消所有安排
I'm gonna clear my schedule
专注于让你们体验人间炼狱
so that I can make your lives a living hell!
你是不是忘记今天你有事了
Uh, I think you forgot about that thing you have today!
还记得吗 你不能错过的事儿
Remember that thing? You can't miss that thing!
你死定了 露易丝·贝尔彻
You are dead, Louise Belcher!
这是个意外
Okay, look, that was an accident.
一个我希望录下来的有趣的意外
A hilarious accident that I wish I had on video.
没必要这么抓狂吧
You don't have to get all crazy-face mad about it, okay?
洛根走吧 我们去公园吧
Logan, come on. Let's hit the park.
你们去吧 我要花时间想想
You guys go. I'm gonna figure out
怎么毁掉露易丝的生活
how to ruin Louise's life for a while.
好吧哥们 我们对你有信心
All right, dude. We believe in you.
我们现在要进去看电视了
Well, we're gonna go inside and watch TV now.
随便 我要绕到前面去
Fine. I'm just gonna go around front,
按响你家门铃告诉你♥爸♥妈你刚做了什么
ring the doorbell and tell your parents what you did.
那就搞笑了 因为他们不在家
Well, joke's on you because they aren't home.
你♥爸♥妈不在家 有意思
Oh, your parents aren't home? Interesting.
我的选择又多了
That expands my options.
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