瑞克和莫蒂（2013）
Rick and Morty S03E10
Part 3
Oct. 6, 2020, 11:52 a.m.
They told me to give you this.
他们让我给你这个
They said it will stretch as your cancer pill wears off
他们说随着你的癌症药丸药效消失
and your body awkwardly enlarges at the rate of a ‘50s movie.
你的身体尴尬地以老电影里的速度变大时 衣服会撑大
Are there pants?
有裤子吗
They said you’d prefer just a shirt.
他们说你会只想要一件衣服的
Apparently, you have a need to swing your dick around?
似乎是因为你有乱晃鸡♥巴♥的需求
Rick and Morty escaped.
Rick和Morty逃走了
No shit. Take me to the Pentagon.
废话 带我去五角大楼
We’re at war with Rick and Morty.
我们要和Rick和Morty开战
You’ll want to make a sTop at the White House?
那你想顺道去下白宫吗
I have pants at the Pentagon, Rhonda. It’s in my contract.
我在五角大楼有裤子 Rhonda 合同里写着呢
I mean you need to call a press conference.
我是说你需要召开新闻发布会
Israel and Palestine have announced a permanent ceasefire.
以色列和巴勒斯坦宣布永久停火
What? They signed something called
什么 他们签署了一个叫作
“The Pretty Obvious If You Think About It” accord.
"挺明白的事儿想想就知道"协议
Apparently, an anonymous American diplomat
似乎是一名匿名的美国外交官
took them to a “Star Wars” cantina,
带他们去了一个"星战"主题酒吧
where they smoked perspective-enhancing alien pheromones through a laser hookah.
他们用激光水烟抽了能增强认知视野的外星费洛蒙
I still say it has to be Putin.
我还是认为这是普♥京♥干的
It was Rick and Morty, you fucking dunce!
是Rick和Morty干的 你傻驴啊
But you’re getting the credit, sir.
不过功劳都是你领了 先生
Your approval rating just hit 100%.
你的民众支持率刚刚达到了100%
Why would Rick and Morty want that?
Rick和Morty为什么要这么做
Because they’re assholes!
因为他们是混球
I’m flattered, but it takes a whole team to achieve what we did today.
感谢大家的称赞 但我们今天的成就归功于整个团队
Thank you.
谢谢
Well? They haven’t been back home, sir.
情况呢 他们没有回家 先生
We’ve got every possible location under surveillance.
我们在监视每个他们可能出现的地点
God damn it! They’re right here!
妈的 他们就在这儿
They’re here, God damn it! Code Red! We need backup!
他们在这里 妈的 红色警报 需要支援
Everybody relax.
大家放松
Just waiting for you in the only room you can’t blow up or spy on.
只是在你不能炸掉或监控的唯一房♥间等你而已
So, we’re not changing timelines for you,
我们不会为你改变时间线
but now you have everything you want,
但是现在你得到你想要的了
so you can forget we exist,
你可以无视我们的存在
and we’ll return the favor.
我们也能无视你的存在
You couldn’t say that in a text?
你就不能写条短♥信♥说吗
Well, since we won’t be seeing each other again, my --
呃 因为我们不会再见面了 我的
Guys, we get it. It’s a Code Red. Enough.
伙计们 我们懂 是红色警报 够了
My grandson has worked hard for you,
我孙子为你的事跑前跑后
and I feel like he’s earned a selfie.
我觉得他有权和你合影自♥拍♥一张
Honestly, I could take it or leave it at this point.
说实话 现在我无所谓拍不拍的
You’re taking it.
你要拍
No. What kind of fratty-ass status move is that?
不 你这是什么大学兄弟会显摆地位的招啊
Get out of my office!
滚出我的办公室
SeriousIy? You’re that stubborn?
我靠 你真那么固执吗
He’s the stubborn one. I’m protecting my country.
他才固执 我是在保护我的国家
Uh, from selfies?
免受自♥拍♥的侵犯吗
From subordination to hostile powers.
免于屈从敌对力量
Uh, does China know about that deal-breaker?
那中国知道你这强硬的态度吗
China doesn’t piss on the White House.
中国不会跑来骑在白宫头上拉屎撒尿
Well, why would they? I’m sure it was expensive.
是哦 他们为什么会 那很费钱吧
Get out. Not without a selfie.
滚 没自♥拍♥就不走
Arrest them. Son, you have a right to refuse his order,
逮捕 小伙 你有权不服从他的命令
and I guarantee you’re going to die if you touch me,
我保证只要摸我一下 你就会死
and there’s no afterlife. Everything just goes black.
没有什么来生 一切直接陷入黑暗
Don’t do it.
别这么做
Whoa, Rick! Okay.
哇 Rick 好吧
What was that?
这是怎么回事
Death. What kind?
死亡 哪种
Instant. There was no sound.
即刻 可是都没声音啊
He just died. Yeah, terrifying.
他就死了 嗯 很可怕
It’s a terrifying thing to watch happen.
这看着是很可怕
It’s called a deterrent.
这叫威慑
You couldn’t just knock him out?
你就不能只把他打晕吗
How is knocking out a deterrent?
打晕怎么能算威慑呢
Everyone wants to be knocked out.
每个人都想被打晕
Nobody wants to be dead.
没人想死
You committed murder in the Oval Office.
你在美国总统办公室里杀了人
Now you can’t leave. That’s fine.
现在你不能离开 没事
I said I’m not leaving without a selfie.
我说了要一起自♥拍♥再走
Uh, I don’t need a selfie.
呃 我不需要跟总统一起自♥拍♥
And I’m saying you aren’t getting one
我不会跟你自♥拍♥的
and you aren’t leaving.
你也走不了了
So we agree? Yes. No. We disagree
所以我们达成一致了 是的 不
because you think you’re getting a selfie and leaving.
我们意见不统一 因为你想要拿到合照然后离开
Am I getting a selfie?
我会拿到合照吗
Never. Then I’m never leaving.
绝不 那我绝不走
Exactly. See?
没错 看吧
Does anyone have a shot?
有人能开枪杀了他吗
Yes, nine people. I can show you.
有 有九个人可以 我能给你们展示一下
But I wouldn’t recommend --
但我不建议
Open fire!
开枪
God, you are dumb!
老天 你们太蠢了
Get the President out of here!
带总统离开这里
Bad idea. Wait. Why?
这是馊主意 等等 为什么
Because if there isn’t someone in here that they’re not supposed to kill,
如果这里没有他们不能杀的人
they’re going to wreck the place trying to kill me.
他们会在试图杀我的过程中把这地方都砸了
As long as you live, no matter where you are,
只要你活着 无论你在哪儿
if it isn’t in a selfie with him,
只要你不是在跟他的合照里面
I’ll be here.
我都会在这儿
Jesus! He’s not a fucking god!
老天 他又不是神
You don’t know what I am!
你不知道我是什么
And you don’t know what I can do!
你更不知道我能做什么
Geez, it’s -- it’s cool, Rick!
老天 冷 冷静点 Rick
I’m Doctor Who in this motherfucker.
我就是这儿的神秘博士
I could be a clone. I could be a hologram.
我可以是个克隆 我可以是个全息影像
We could be clones controlled by robots
我们都可以是克隆
controlled with special headsets
是被正在操♥你♥妈♥的真正的Rick和Morty
that the real Rick and Morty are wearing
用头戴的特别设备操控的
while they’re fucking your mother!
机器人所操控的克隆
I’m going to kill you!
我要杀了你
Then come to 312 Olive Street!
那就来奥利街312号♥
Is that her address?
这是我妈现在的地址吗
You don’t know because you’re a bad son!
你不知道 因为你是个坏儿子
Ow! Take him down!
嗷 干掉他
Semper fi!
为了国家
Aaaaah!
啊
MAN: Number three, The Twister.
第三式 旋风转圈
Ow! Damn it. Number four...
嗷 该死 第四式
The Hanky Panky.
偷天换日
Beth?
Beth
My dad might have cloned me, and I might be the clone.
我爸可能把我给克隆了 我可能就是那个克隆
And he says I’m not, but that’s what he’d say to a clone.
他说我不是克隆 但他对克隆肯定会这么说
Typical.
典型的Rick做派
Number six, The Texas Ripple.
第六式 德州涟漪
You look like you to me.
我看你就是你嘛
What are you, an idiot?
你是笨蛋吗
[Sighs] I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
对不起 对不起
That was so rude.
我话重了
I came to you for help, and now I’m insulting your intelligence.
我本想寻求你的帮助 但却又在羞辱你的智商了
And look where intelligence gets you.
瞧瞧智商让人落得如此境地
Well, don’t knock intelligence,
别怪智商
because right now I’d love to understand how I can help you.
因为现在 我想知道如何能帮助你
I can’t be in charge of that, Jerry.
这事儿我做不了主 Jerry
My mind, my ideas are all part of the variable.
我的思维 我的想法 都是变量
The only constant is you.
而你是唯一的常量
You know me inside and out.
我的里里外外你都知道
Do what you have to do.
做你要做的吧
Okay. Sit down.
好吧 坐下
瑞克和莫蒂（2013）
Rick and Morty
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