瑞克和莫蒂（2013）
Rick and Morty S03E01
Part 3
Oct. 6, 2020, 11:51 a.m.
and six years of improv workshops.
还有六年的喜剧即兴表演研讨班
Comedy comes in threes.
喜剧成三(喜剧创作的准则)
It's a trap!Abort! We never left his -- -[ Farts]
这是一个圈套 计划中止 我们从来没有离开他的
No!
不
Another day, another dollar.
照以前一样
Am I a great insect creature or what?!
我是伟大的昆虫生物 不然呢
Congratulations, Agent.
祝贺你 特工
You’ll be highly commended for this.
你会因此大受赞扬的
Always wait for permission to [burps]feel accomplishment .
时刻等待着获许拥有成就感
That’s my motto. One thing still perplexes me
我的座右铭 我还有一件事想不通
Why would Rick Sanchez turn himself in?
为什么Rick Sanchez会来自首
Well, I’m just a dumb-ass bug, but it’s possible Rick knew
这个嘛 我只是个蠢虫子 但是Rick有可能早就知道
he’d be interrogated at this facility,
他会被用这个装置审问
where we not only keep our most wanted,
而这个装置不仅有我们最想要的信息
but our most sensitive data.
还保存着我们最敏感的数据
Anyone here with level-9 access could [burps]
这里任何拥有九级授权的人就可以
I don’t know. Collapse the government.
说不准 瓦解一个政♥府♥
I’m just gonna go take a dump.
我要去拉屎
Is it cool if I use the Ievel-9 bathrooms?
介意我用一下九级的洗手间吗
W-What’s the Ievel-9 master access code again?
九级核心授权密♥码♥是多少来着
Oh, that’s easy -- 8-3 --
哦 简单 8 3
Oh, yeah!
耶
S.E.A.L. Team Ricks in the house!
这里是Rick海豹突击队
Hi, Rick.
你好 Rick
Bye, Rick.
再见 Rick
D-99, y-you okay?
D-99 你还好吗
I’m bummed I didn’t get to give that insect dick a test drive.
真扫兴 我还没来得及试用下虫屌♥呢
Wait, wait, wait, wait! T-The Council of Ricks sent us.
等等 等等 等等 等等 我们是受Rick委员会指示
We have your Morty and Summer.
我们手里有你的Morty和Summer
They’re prisoners on the Citadel.
他们作为俘虏关押在大本营
Great. [ Grunts]
很好
Security breach in room 6755. [ Alarm blaring ]
6755号♥房♥间发生安保事故
Lovely.
这下好了 不但我的计划被搞砸了
Not only is my plan screwed up, I also forgot how to improvise.
关于即兴表演的记忆也全没了
All security people approach. [ Grunts]
所有安保人员立即前往
Security breach.
安保事故
A city of Grandpas?
这是一座全是外公的城市吗
It's the Citadel of Ricks.
这是Rick的大本营
All the different Ricks from all the different realities
所有来自不同时空的不同Rick
got together to hide here from the government.
一起聚在这里躲避政♥府♥
But if every Rick hates the government,
但是如果政♥府♥每个Rick都痛恨政♥府♥
why would they hate Grandpa?
为什么他们还会恨我们的外公
Because Ricks hate themselves the most.
因为Rick最痛恨的是他们自己
And our Rick is the most... himself.
而我们的Rick最是他自己
Not anymore, homey.
已经不是了 小屁孩
S.E.A.L. Team Ricks turned his unibrow
Rick海豹突击队把他的一字眉
into two brows -- with a bullet.
分成了两根眉毛 用子弹分的
Your Rick’s dead! Your Rick’s dead!
你们的Rick死了 你们的Rick死了
Sir, Rick D-99 is returning from the mission alone.
长官 Rick D-99 正单独返回
Apparently, S.E.A.L. Team Ricks suffered heavy casualties.
很显然 Rick海豹突击队损失惨重
Bring him in.
让他进来
He says he’ll only talk to a Rick with higher clearance.
他说他只愿意与一名更高级别的Rick通话
La-d i-da. Give me that.
真矫情 把那玩意儿给我
D-99, this is the commander in chief of the Citadel’s militia.
D-99 我是大本营自卫队的总司令
Go-- [Burps] Good enough.
够好了
He’s a spy. Blow him up. I’m gonna go take a shit.
他是个间谍 炸了他 我要去拉屎
Operating an unregistered portal gun,
操作一支未注册的传送枪
radicalizing a Summer,
将一名Summer转变为激进分子
conspiring with a traitorous Rick.
并且与一个叛徒Rick合谋
How do you plead?
对此你如何辩护
How is this a fair trial?
这怎么算得上是个公平的审判啊
0-Our lawyer is a Morty!
我们的辩护律师是个Morty
It’s not fair, you have no rights, and he’s not a lawyer.
这不公平 你们没有权利 他也不是个律师
We just keep him here because he’s fun.
我们让他待在这里是因为他很逗
Look at him go. [ Laughs]
瞧他那傻样
[ Laughs I Yeah!
哈哈 耶
We’ll be lenient if you renounce your Rick.
如果你与你的Rick断绝关系我们就从宽办案
What say you, Summer?
你怎么说 Summer
I say fuck you!
滚你丫的
My grandpa was my hero.
外公是我的英雄
You killed him because you were jealous of him.
你们杀了他是因为你们都嫉妒他
That’s pretty obvious from the haircuts.
这点从发型就明显看得出
So do what you want to me, but let my brother go.
所以你们把我怎么样都行 但是要放我弟弟走
He already renounced Rick.
他已经跟Rick断绝关系了
Morty?
Morty
[ Whispers indistinctly] What?
什么
N-No, I don’t want to see your pog collection.
不 我才不要看你的游戏币收藏
I don’t renounce Rick, and I never have.
我没有与Rick断绝关系 我从来都没有
I was just trying to protect my sister.
我只是想保护我的姐姐
I wanted you to have a normal life.
我想让你有正常的生活
That’s something you can’t have when Rick shows up.
这是每次Rick出现时你就无法拥有的生活
Everything real turns fake. Everything right is wrong.
所有真实的都变得虚假 所有正确的都变成错误
All you know is that you know nothing and he knows everything.
你只知道你一无所知而他无所不知
And, well -- well, he’s not a villain, Summer,
他虽然不是坏蛋 Summer
but he shouldn’t be your hero.
但是他也不应该成为你的英雄
He’s more like a demon or a super fucked-up god.
他更像是个魔鬼或者是个一塌糊涂的上帝
Let’s not suck the ghost of his dick too hard.
别他妈这么深情地缅怀他
He was a terrorist, and now he’s dead.
他是个恐♥怖♥分♥子♥ 现在他死了
Oh, yeah? If you think my Rick’s dead, he’s alive!
是吗 你以为我的Rick死了 其实他还活着
And if you think you’re safe, he’s coming for you!
你们要是觉得你们安全了 就等着他给你好看吧
Hey! Whoa, whoa! What are you doing in here?
嘿 喔 喔 你来这里干什么
This area is for teleporting the entire Citadel
这个区域只需要几个按钮和表盘
to somewhere else using only buttons and dials.
就可以把整个大本营传送到别处
Yeah? Well, it’s a bad idea
那一开始设计成这样
to have it designed that way then, isn’t it?
就很不明智了对不对
[ Screaming] What the tuck?
这他妈是怎么搞的
We just teleported into a Galactic tederal prison!
我们被传送到了银河联邦监狱
I’m gonna go take a shit. [ Alarm blaring ]
我要去拉屎
Order in the court!
法庭内请保持秩序
Whoa! What the hell?!Oh, my God!
喔 这是怎么回事 我的天哪
Wait, wait, wait, wait! No, no, no!
等等 等等 等等 等等 不 不 不
Whoa!
喔
The Citadel has been teleported to [burps] Federation space.
大本营被传送到了联邦的地盘
It’s doomed. This has to be C-137, you guys.
完蛋了 这一定是C-137干的
What are we gonna do?! You know he’s coming for us.
我们该怎么办 他要找我们算账了
All right! Calm down! We have his Summer as a hostage.
行了 都冷静 我们可以把他的Summer当做人♥质♥
Obviously, I get her.
很显然 我抓住她了
You guys play Rick, Laser, Scissors for the Morty.
你们用"瑞克 激光 剪刀"决定谁抓住Morty
W-What the hell is that?
你这是出的什么
Payback.
报复
Grandpa Rick!
外公
Duh. You’re alive!
还用说吗 你还活着
Rick! Morty, take this.You’re gonna need it later.
Rick Morty 拿着这个 待会儿用得上
Hold on. Hold on. Whoa!
等等 等等 喔
COUNCIL MEMBER: That’s enough, Rick.
够了 Rick
What -- What’s this supposed to accomplish?
你这是想干什么
We have infinite grandkids.
我们的外孙多得用不完
You’re trying to use Disney bucks at a Caesars Palace here.
你这好比是想在凯撒宫酒店里花掉迪士尼代币
[Gasps ] That’s a bluff. He’s bluffing, sir. He loves me.
他在唬你 他很爱我的
You’re a rogue Rick -- irrational, passionate.
你不按套路出牌 不理性又感情用事
You love your grandkids. You came to rescue them.
你爱你的外孙 你来这儿就是要救他们
I came to kill you, bro.
我是来杀你的 哥们
That’s not even my original Summer.
这都不是我原装的Summer
Oh, my God. He’s not bluffing. He’s not bluffing!
妈呀 他不是在唬人
RRick? Why not shoot through her?
Rick 干嘛不直接射穿她
Twenty yards, nine-gauge plasma pistol.
20码的距离 9口径脉冲手♥枪♥
My first shot would liquify her insides and injure you,
我的第一枪会液化她的内脏 但只能打伤你
second shot adds recoil.
第二枪后坐力会增加
The risk to me is minimized if I wait for you to shoot her,
如果我等你枪毙她 我的风险就会降到最低
which I’m encouraging you to do.
我就希望你这么做
瑞克和莫蒂（2013）
Rick and Morty
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