凯文滚一边（2021）
Kevin Can F- Himself
第一季
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凯文滚一边（2021）
Kevin Can F- Himself S01E07
Part 1
Oct. 25, 2021, 2:44 p.m.
凯文滚一边 前情提要
Previously on "Kevin Can F... Himself"...
凯文死定了 没错
Kevin is going to die. Yes.
行 我来
Okay, I can do it.
我还以为我们已经不会再有机会了呢
I thought we weren't gonna do this anymore.
怎么会
No, you didn't.
你需要开拓一下眼界
You just need to broaden your horizons.
她喜欢我 我们要利用这一点
She likes me. We can use that.
我的老天 这是怎么了
Jesus Christ, what the hell is happening?
啊 你救了我一命
Augh! You saved my life.
艾莉森
Allison. Oh.
有问题吗 没有
Is there a problem? No.
一切都没问题吧 噢 老天 山姆
Things okay here?Oh, Jesus, Sam.
按我说的做 不然就没钱
You do it my way, or you don't get the money.
下周六
Next Saturday.
下周六吗
Next Saturday?
你不要预约 你知道的吧
You know you don't need an appointment, right?
这事我今天就能解决
I can have this taken care of today.
不 不 不 我还需要点时间
No. No, no, I still need a little more time
才能解决
to get a few things in order.
下周 我就去南加州看望我母亲
Next week, I'm gonna go visit my mother in South Carolina,
我每年这个时候都会去看她
which I do every year at this time,
这样我就有不在场证据了
so that gets me out of Dodge.
周六我走了以后
With me gone Saturday,
凯文就会进入单身汉模式
Kevin's gonna be in full bachelor mode,
也就是说他会喝得醉醺醺的睡到11点都不醒
which means he's gonna be blacked out by 11:00,
既然睡不醒 那就别醒了
and when he's out, he is out.
所以 你懂的吧 搞场抢劫案
So, you know... make it look like a robbery,
但是 别真的抢我们东西
and obviously, don't actually take any of our stuff.
或者 行吧 要是你要看上什么你就拿走吧
Or -- Okay, yeah. Take whatever you want.
我们卧室在楼上左手边
Our bedroom is top of the stairs on the left,
然后你就知道怎么办了吧
and I'm guessing that you know what to do after that.
你懂的吧
You do, right?
当然了 老天
Yes! Jesus!
很好
Good.
那
So, uh...
完事之后你准备干什么
what are you gonna do after?
我会把那家伙尸体弄出你家
I'm gonna haul ass outta your house.
噢 抱歉 我是说 整个事完事儿以后
Oh, no, sorry. I mean, like, after after.
你手里有一大笔钱
You know? It's a lot of money.
你有没有什么 什么大的计划 或者
Do you have any -- any big plans, or...
我当然赶快跑啊 我保释期到了
Getting the hell away from here the second my parole's up.
我就知道
Tell me about it.
嗯
Yeah.
反正 周六
So, eh, Saturday.
周六 然后
Saturday, and, um...
只要一完事 你钱就到手了
soon as it's done, you'll get the money.
7000刀够你跑到天涯海角了
So, $7,000 can get you pretty far.
也还不够远
Not far enough.
- 嘿 - 怎么了
Hey. Hmm?
- 顾客要退菜 - 啥 为什么
Customer sent this back.What? Why?
她说这里面有乳制品
She says it's not dairy free.
这个酱 这可是戈尔贡佐拉干酪
The sauce -- it's gorgonzola.
也就是奶酪 你个傻叉
That's cheese, you dumbass.
谁在乎呢
Who gives a shit?Who --
这害的我现在要重新做一块新的啊 尼克
That's a whole new fillet I gotta make, Nicky.
- 我没那么多时间 - 借过
I don't have time for this.Excuse me --
噢 我的天
Oh! Jesus!
抱歉 抱歉
I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry.
妈的
Shit!
找点冰来 找点冰来
Get some ice! Some ice!
尼克
Greg: Nick.
怎么
What?
还怎么
"What?"
天啦
Christ.
- 那只是意外 - 是吗
It was an accident. Yeah?
现在烤架也用不了
Now I have to shut down the grill
扎克的手臂也被烫伤了
till I can scrape Zack's forearm off it.
- 你回去吧 - 你可不能就这样开除我
Go home. You can't fire me.
不然他们会把我关回去的 你真的要这样吗
They'll throw me in prison. You really gonna do that?
你少烦我了 你刚才那种行为叫攻击他人
Spare me, okay? That was an assault.
据我所知 沃波尔是可以来抓你的
As far as I'm concerned, Walpole can have you.
你别
Just...
能给我一天时间吗
Can I at least have a day?
先别让我保释官发现这事好吗
A day before my parole officer finds out about this? Okay?
你觉得你哪来的资格
Do you think you're in a position
和我讨价还价
to negotiate right now?
你觉得呢
Do you?
好 行
Okay. Fine.
明早 我再向上面汇报你的
Tomorrow morning, I'm updating
就业状态
your employment status with the county.
嘿 计划有变
Hey, change of plans.
我们今晚就走
We're leaving tonight.
但是走前要先做件事
I just have one thing I need to take care of first.
艾莉森
Tammy: Allison.
我知道今晚这一夜你过的很糟糕
I can only imagine how traumatic tonight was,
但是我还是要问你几个问题
but we're gonna have to ask you some questions.
行吗
Is that alright?
听到枪声之前 你在哪
Where were you tonight, just before the shooting?
我
I was --
我和凯文躺在床上
I was in bed with Kevin.
再问一句
And just for the record --
你和凯文麦克罗伯兹是什么关系
your relationship to Kevin McRoberts?
我是他老婆
I'm his wife.
我就是他不幸而可悲的妻子
I'm his miserable, pathetic wife,
现在他死了 我很开心
and I'm so glad he's dead.
嘿
Hey!
你要是不想认真对待我们的问题
You can just go home now
你就先回家吧
if you're not gonna take this serious.
我很认真啊
Well, I am serious.
是吗
Oh, yeah?
谁会告诉侦探她丈夫被离奇谋杀了
You'd tell a detective that you're super glad
但是她很开心呢
your husband has just been suspiciously murdered?
没有 我知道不能说这话 但是
No, of course not, but this just seems --
我觉得你们这个搞的没什么必要
it seems unnecessary.
你喜欢计划是吧
You love a planning phase, right?
那我们来吧
Well, here we are.
我又不是傻子
Well, I'm not an idiot.
我一切都计划好了
I have planned, okay?
几天后我就会去见你的好朋友尼克
In a few days, I'm gonna go see your friend Nick --
- 他不是我好朋友 - 行吧
Not my friend. Okay.
你懂我啥意思 我是说你的熟人
Well, you know what I mean. Your acquaintance --
熟人也不行
Not even that.
你最好的朋友 尼克
Your best friend Nick,
然后我们一起来看看细节
and we're gonna go through all the details,
这样警♥察♥来调查
and then when the police investigate,
就会发现我们准备的证据
they're gonna find what we planted as proof
他们会认为凯文就是他们要找的毒贩子
that Kevin is the drug dealer they're looking for.
你没事 我也没事
You're good. I'm good.
就这样
Done.
就这样
Done?
你知道我们
You realize we're not even
都还没说到重点是吧
at the hard part of all this, right?
当然
Sure.
凯文死了之后 麻烦才开始
Once Kevin's gone, that's like the beginning.
你以为葬礼结束之后
You can't just pick up
你能全身而退
and go live out your scone-and-a-book fantasy
过着诗与远方的生活吗
the minute the funeral cold cuts are gone.
就算他死得没有任何问题
Even when a death isn't suspicious,
人们也会观察你
people are always looking to make sure
看你是不是很悲伤
you're mourning enough.
凯文滚一边（2021）
Kevin Can F- Himself
剧集 | 凯文滚一边（2021） | 导航列表