凯文滚一边（2021）

Kevin Can F- Himself S01E03

Part 5 Oct. 25, 2021, 2:44 p.m.

我们有段时间没见了
Well, it's been a while.
也许我变了
Maybe I've changed.
完全失控了
Totally lost it.
我不信
Eh, I'm not buying it.
好的
Okay.
开动吧
Bon appétit.
去大鳟鱼湖的路是一条狭窄的长廊
The road to Big Trout Lake is a narrow corridor
充满了弯弯绕绕和陡峭的山丘
filled with twists, turns, and steep hills...
使得日常的来回变得充满挑战
Mmm. ...that make ordinary runs challenging
托德这样一次运这么多货物几乎就是在赌博
and mega-hauls like Todd's an outright gamble.
这周你要用车吗
Hey, you need the Honda this week?
也许吧
Maybe.
要用的话再跟你说
I'll let you know.
开动了是说你可以吃了
"Bon appétit"means you can start eating.
我们可以吃点正常点的食物吗
Can we please just have some real food?
这个就是啊
But this is.
- 这是蛋白质和蔬菜啊 - 不科特
- This is protein and vegetables. -No, Kurt.
我想吃点正常的食物好吗
I would like some real-ass food, you know?
有碳水化物和动物油脂的那种
With carbs and animal fat
所以我不用在来这边的路上
so I don't have to keep speed-eating
在车里胡吃猛塞
alone in my car on the way over here.
太孤独了而且都吃得我烧心了
It's lonely and I'm getting heartburn.
好吧
Yeah, o-okay.
我来点个外卖♥♥
I'll order something.
谢谢你
Thank you!
太好了谢谢你
Yes, God! Thank you!
点墨西哥卷饼怎么样
Ooh, maybe chimichangas!
再次欢迎来到周日三一教堂
Once again, welcome to the Sunday Trinity
大书本探讨戒酒互助会
Big Book Discussion Meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.
我说过我酗酒
I've stated that I'm an alcoholic.
在座还有其他的酗酒者吗
Are there any other alcoholics present tonight?
这个会议上我们庆祝戒酒周年日
We also celebrate the anniversaries at this meeting.
365天不饮酒就是一个周年
An anniversary is defined as 365 days free of alcohol
或者你戒断的其他事物也算
or anything else that affects you from the neck up.
今晚有一个周年纪念
We have one anniversary tonight,
就是山姆的八周年纪念日
and that is Sam, celebrating eight years.
上来吧山姆
Get up here, Sam.
我叫山姆
Hey, I'm Sam.
酗酒者
Alcoholic.
你好山姆
Hi, Sam.
我逼自己参加这个项目
Uh, I dragged myself into the Program
是在我到达人生最底谷的时候
when I finally hit rock bottom.
一天晚上我喝的太大了
One night, I got so loaded
偷了酒吧里遇到的男人一堆海♥洛♥因♥
that I stole a bundle of heroin from some guy I met at a bar --
醉到连他的名字都记不清了
too drunk to even remember his name.
也许叫杰森吧
Jason, maybe?
如果他抓到了我肯定会把我杀了
If he'd caught me, I bet he would've killed me.
那种恐惧和羞愧我至今都还能感受得到这是件好事情
I can still feel that fear and that shame, and that's good.
防止我走老路
It keeps the cycle from starting again.
我已经告别这种自我毁灭模式八年了
I've been done with destructive patterns for eight years.
我不会再自甘堕落了
I'm not going back.
谢谢你邀请我过来
Um, thank you so much for having me.
是吗
Really? This -- Yeah.
我知道这些事情挺沉重的
Uh, I know these things can be painful.
奇怪的是我还挺自豪的
Oddly, I'm, uh -- I'm proud.
山姆
Sam.
- 你怎么来了 - 我想给你个惊喜
-- What are you doing here? --Oh, I wanted to surprise you.
我错过了吗
Did I miss it?
是的不过没关系以后还有更多机会
Yeah, but that's okay. There's plenty more.
我爸在家里看瓷砖样板
My dad was at the house looking at tile samples,
我忘记时间了
and I lost track of time.
- 不好意思 - 没关系
-- Sorry. --Eh, that's okay.
房♥子看上去倒是挺不错
House looks great though.
挺好珍这位是艾丽森
Good. Uh, Jenn, this is Allison.
艾丽森这位是我的妻子珍
Allison, my wife, Jenn.
我们其实见过的
Uh, we've actually met before.
我和山姆在高中时一起打过工
I, uh, worked with Sam in high school.
你能来也太好了
Oh, how sweet of you to come.
当然
Of course.
这可是件大事
It's a big deal.
抱歉你这里有东西
Sorry, you got, um -- You have something.
是个豆子吗
Is that a bean?
一颗黑白斑豆
A pinto bean.
是辣椒酱里面的
It's, uh -- It's from a chili.
总之
Um, anyway...
你好
Hello.
- 我下不了手 - 什么
-- I can't do it! -- What?
我不能伤害他
I can't hurt him!
你用火烤了他一晚上
You cooked him over a fire all night long.
不一样这可是谋杀
That was different. This is murder!
我们度过了一个改变一生的夜晚
We had a totally life-changing night together.
你和这个早就死了的猪吗
You and the already-dead pig?
不准你这么说
Don't say it like that.
你不懂你不在这
You don't know. You weren't here.
我昨晚就在这睡的
I slept here.
但你来的太晚了
But you were late.
你错过了我和他的感情连接
You totally missed the connection I had
这个美丽的生物
with this beautiful creature.
我们聊了很重要的东西
We talked about real big-picture stuff, you know?
生命和爱
Life. Love.
还有男人们说他们不会在洗澡的时候小便
How dudes who say they don't pee in the shower
肯定都是在说谎
are definitely lying.
你洗澡的时候会小便吗
Do you pee in the shower?
不会
No.
重点是
Look, the point is,
我不会伤害我的好朋友的
there's no way that I can cut up my best friend!
你觉得这和尼尔有关系吗
Ok-- Do you think that this might possibly be about Neil?
当然不是
Of course not.
是因为我的新朋友星尘小猪
This is about my new friend, Piggy Stardust.
更是因为我彻底完蛋了
And worse -- about how, now I'm completely screwed
我没有肉拿来做辣椒酱
because I got no meat for the chili!
给他们素食辣椒酱呗
Just give them vegetarian chili.
素食辣椒酱还不如不参加
Vegetarian chili is worse than no chili at all.
没人想喝沙拉汤
Nobody wants salad soup!
那你就成为
Well, then, you'll just be
街坊领居的笑柄吧
the laughing stock of the whole neighborhood.
你说的对
You're right.
我没法出这个家门了
I won't be able to leave the house.
就这样吧
That's it.
- 我要成为一个隐士 - 一个隐士
-- I'm gonna become a Kermit. -- A "Kermit"?
对一个永远不出门的人
Yeah someone who's alone and inside all the time.
就像木偶秀里隐士蛙总是在躲着猪小姐一样
Like Kermit always hiding from Miss Piggy.
这就觉得丢人了吗
This is when you feel humiliation?
你在我们淋浴房♥小便就不觉得丢人吗
You definitely pee in our shower.
我再也不离开这个房♥子了
I'm never leaving this house again,
你也会一直陪在我身边
and you're gonna be here right by my side the whole time.
直到我们死翘翘宝贝
In it till we kick it, baby!
你可真幸运
Lucky you.
真幸运
So lucky.
好吧我要上楼了
Alright, I'm gonna go upstairs
边炖这个边洗个澡
and stew this out over a bath.
45分钟之后再上来
You're gonna have to come up in 45
带着啤酒一个三明治
with a beer and a sandwich.Oh--
并不代表我需要帮助
Not that I need anyone!
诬告他人很危险
It's a dangerous thing, falsely accusing someone --
尤其是一个在社区地位很高的人
especially a guy high up in the community.
干得真棒
Good job, family.
还不如控告欧唐纳神父
Might as well accuse Father O'Donnell
卖♥♥毒品呢
of peddling pills.
请记住
So, please, keep in mind,