凯文滚一边（2021）

Kevin Can F- Himself S01E06

Part 6 Oct. 25, 2021, 2:44 p.m.

准备好了吗笑一个
Ready? And smile.
谢谢凯文
Thanks, Kevin.
麦克罗伯茨太太很不错
Mrs. McRoberts. Looks great.
上帝啊看看我们
Oh. God, look at us.
太完美了
It's perfect.
就像肯尼迪和杰奎琳
Like JFK and Jackie O.
贫穷版的
But poor.
也就是说玛丽莲梦露是我的了
But that means I get a Marilyn!
怎么了
Patty: What?
- 你还好吗 - 我去
- You okay? - Jesus!
- 抱歉 - 你不该在这里
- Sorry. - Yeah, you should be!
你到底在想什么
Whoa. What -- What the hell were you thinking,
把这个地方提供给他们
offering this place?
因为我不好意思拒绝
Oh, it seemed easier than saying no.
山姆你不能这样对他屈服好吗
Sam, you can't give into him like that, okay?
- 他早就算好了你会这么做 - 算好了
It's what he's counting on. Counting on?
他不是什么木偶大♥师♥好吗
He's not exactly a puppet master, okay?
他只是凯文罢了
It's Kevin.
山姆这正是他逍遥法外的原因
Sam, "it's Kevin" is why he gets away with everything.
这就是为什么他永远都能赢
It's why he always wins.
你说得好像是命中注定一样
You say that like it's destined.
根本就是啊
It is!
这个世界就是为凯文这样的人设计的
This whole world is designed for guys like Kevin
还有皮特和尼尔
and Pete and Neil!
- 我可不确定 - 山姆他开枪杀了人
I don't know that it's -- Sam, he shot someone.
凯文在我们家杀了人
Kevin shot someone in our home,
警♥察♥根本不在乎
and the cops couldn't care less.
他们还在里面和他觥筹交错
They're in there toasting him right now.
整个体系都被♥操♥控了毫无还手之力
This whole game is rigged! Fixed!
我还是放弃算了你知道吗
And I-I should just give up, you know?
我应该我还有啥理由继续呢我早就该放弃
I should -- Why not? I should just give up...
和你一起逃离这里
and run away with you.
我们可以逃去一个湖边小镇或者沙漠里
You know, we could go to, like, a lake town or a desert,
我们可以改头换面重新开始
where we could be totally different people.
我可以
I could be, like...
改名丹尼斯
Denise, and, uh,
丹尼斯喜欢自己做陶艺还记得给植物浇水
Denise makes her own bowls and remembers to water her plants.
怎么了
What?
所以和我在一起就等于放弃吗
Being with me is giving up?
我不是这个意思
That's not what I --
现在看来这似乎是正确的答案
Right now, it seems like the right answer.
似乎是但其实不是吗
It seems like it, but it's not?
我把一片真心都给了你
I'm offering you something real.
一片
Something...
你就是不知道如何自救对吧
You just don't know how to help yourself, do you?
和你在一起会怎么样
Oh, right, being with you is gonna, what?
就能得救吗
It's gonna save me?
总比现在好吧
It'd be an improvement.
你知道吧我和凯文刚认识的时候
Um, you know, Kevin -- when we met,
他让我从父母家搬出来
he got me out of my parents' house,
我们才交往了两个月他坚持要跟我同居
because he insisted that we move in together after two months,
所以他也算救了我吗
and, so, I guess I let him save me, too.
我不是凯文
I'm not Kevin.
我知道
No, I know.
但你知道吗在有些人眼中
But you know that there are people who look at me
我并不可怜
and they don't see a charity case?
他们觉得我这样没问题
Who like me like this?
就这样吗
Like this?
得了吧你自己知道比起那些蠢货
Come on, you know you deserve better than this place,
你值得去更好地方
than those idiots.
你可以有
You could be...
更多机会
more.
这种话并不是恭维
That's not a compliment.
对我以前以为是
God, I used to think it was,
但我已经厌倦了尝试更多机会
but I am so done with trying to be more.
就这样吧
This is it.
听天由命吧
This should be enough.
什么
Patty: What?
哦五魁首啊
Oh, Jumping Jehoshaphat.
六六六啊
Licking Lucifer.
瑞思拜啊大姐
Uh, whoa there.
那个有趣的艾丽森终于觉醒了吗
Is this Fun Allison rearing her ugly head?
我以为她8年前已经淹死在水上公园了
I thought she drowned in that water park eight years ago.
宝贝悠着点
Babe, cool it.
这可没有政客名媛的气质
That is not very Jackie O behavior.
对学学人家一个人喝酒吧
Yeah, take a page out of her book and drink alone.
你现在要注意形象了
You have, like, an image now.
你得表现得有个政客妻子的样子
You gotta act like a politician's wife.
你没有公众形象吗
Don't you have a public image?
我有啊
Uh, yeah.
我就活在其中
I'm living it right now.
我从民众中来
I'm a man of the people.
我知道你觉得自己是个亲民英雄
I know you think you're some everyday hero...
但其实你就是个混♥蛋♥ 凯文
but you're just a dick, Kevin.
亲民英雄
Everyday Hero.
这个叫法不错
I like the sound of that.
凯文你的竞选口号♥有了
Kevin, that's your campaign slogan!
凯文·麦克罗伯茨亲民英雄
"Kevin McRoberts -- Everyday Hero."
太好了
It's brilliant!
干杯各位
Cheers, everybody!
亲民英雄
Both: Everyday Hero!
我说过了我今晚不上班
I told you, I'm off tonight.
布拉姆如果你再打过来
Bram, if you call again,
你就等着整个冬天就帮我铲雪吧
I'm making you shovel my walk all winter.
帕蒂出去买♥♥烟了
Uh, Patty stepped out to grab some cigarettes.
这话听着熟
Sounds familiar.
有什么事我可以代为传达
I can leave her a message if you want.
我嗯你
I -- Well -- You --
抱歉你是瑞吉维警官吧
Sorry, you're -- you're Officer Ridgeway, right?
你是又来盘问她了吗
Are you here to question her again, or...
不
No.
我刚听说了入室抢劫的事想着应该过来看看
I just heard about the break-in, so I thought I should stop by.
或许能给她带个烤鸡什么的
See if I can bring her a roast chicken or something.
入室抢劫是隔壁的事
The break-in was next door.
我知道但还是挺让人抑郁的
No, I know, but it's still pretty traumatic.
她没事
Mm, she seems fine.
一切都好甚至呢
Good, even.
实际上我觉得
Actually you could say
是她这么多年来最快乐的时光
it's the happiest she's been in years.
好吧那就好
Well, good for her.
但事实上最奇怪的是
But you know, actually, the weirdest thing happened.
当
I --
当我得知入室盗窃的消息时我一点都不惊讶
When I heard about the break-in, I wasn't totally surprised.
我们分手后我一直疑问重重
Since we broke up, I've had all these questions, you know?
这些问题我之前就该问问她的
I-I guess I should've been asking them all along,
但我越是细想这些问题
but the more I think about what those questions would be,
就越觉得她不会回答
the less I think she'd ever answer them.
但是呢也许你能问出来更多
But hey, maybe you'll have more luck.
我毕竟不是警♥察♥
I'm not a cop, so...
怎么了
Patty: What?
帕蒂请回我电♥话♥
Patty, please call me back.
求你了
Please.
- 你在等我吗 - 我一直在给你打电♥话♥
You waiting for me? I've been trying to call you.
我看到了
I saw.
但我想当面吼你一顿
But I wanted to yell at you in person.
别这样
No, don't.
我我很抱歉
I am -- I am so sorry.
你到底知不知道你在为什么而道歉
Do you even know what you're apologizing for?
- 那你道个屁歉 - 好吧
Then it doesn't count! Okay.
我做啥错事了
Well, what did I do?