凯文滚一边（2021）

凯文和艾莉森…永远在一起！
Kevin and Allison...Together forever!
所以我错过了什么？- 我要杀死凯文 -
So what'd I miss? - I'm gonna kill Kevin.
你认识那种天生就是杀手的人吗？
You know any natural-born killers?
我想我应该认识
I think I might.
好，这个我能办到
Okay, I can do it.
那是把枪吗？
Is that a gun?
我必须保护咱俩
I have to protect us.
是尼克，他应该一周后才来的
It was Nick. He wasn't supposed to come
for another week.
相信我，我知道
Oh, trust me, I know.
我们可不会轻易对待枪击案的
Aah! We don't take shootings lightly.
你最好还是别出城了
You may not want to go out of town.
我有更重要的使命了,宝贝
I have a higher callin', babe.
我要竞选市长
I'm running for office!
你才是那个想杀自己丈夫却失败了的人
You're the one who tried to kill
her husband. And it was a bust.
那你就是帮凶
And you're the one who helped.
我全听到了
I heard everything.
尼克,不是你想的那样
Neil, it's not what you think.
你别想对凯文说出一个字
You're not gonna tell Kevin anything.
啊,你tm在干什么？
Ah. What the hell are you doing?
你要勒死她! - 你要勒死我!
You were choking her! - You were choking me!
我没有.我只是想要拿回我的手♥机♥.
I was not. I was trying to get my phone back.
你手都放我脖子上了好吗！
You had your hands on my neck!
你tm刚才到底是怎么想的？
What the hell were you thinking?
怎么了?拜托.
Oh, what? C-Come on.
她倒是扮演起受害者了?
She's trying to play victim here?
你想要杀死凯文好吗.
You tried to kill Kevin.
那可是凯文！
Kevin!
你疯了吧
You're insane.
人们都应该知道.凯文更应该知道
Everyone has to know. Kevin has to know.
他必须知道
He has to.
噢,md.
Oh, shit!
艾莉森?
Allison?
噢,天呐
Oh, God.
噢,天呐
Oh, God.
艾莉森?!
Allison?!
好吧,好吧
Okay, okay.
艾莉森? - 好啦
Allison? Okay.
我们必须让这看起来
We have to m-make it look
跟什么都没发生一样,好吗？
like none of this ever happened, okay?
就跟正常一样
Like normal.
正常?
Normal?
这根本就不正常好吗.就没有一样是正常的
But this isn't normal.None of this is normal.
我不知道该怎么办了
I didn't know what to do.
所以你就拿水壶砸了我弟弟?这有什么帮助?
So you kettled my brother?How does this help?
这,他起码不省人事了,不是吗？
Well, he's unconscious, right?
意味着他也没办法说出去了
Which means he's not talking.
他也无法动弹了,这下我们怎么办?
He's also not moving.What are we gonna do about this?
艾莉森.清醒点?!
Allison, hello?!
知道了,知道了
I know, I know.
你别吼我了好吗？
Just please stop yelling, okay?
好了,我有个主意
Okay, I have a plan.I have a plan.
把你手♥机♥给我
Give me your phone.
为什么?你就给我就行了好吗?
Why? Give me your phone, okay?
你要打给谁?
Who are you calling?
你怎么还在吼我？
Why are you still yelling?
嗨
Hi!
嗨嗨嗨,我是艾莉森
Hi, hi, hi, this is Allison.
我很好,听我讲,有件...事
Fine. Um, listen, I could really use your help
我真的需要你的帮助
with... something.
嘿
Hey.
我真的很抱歉
I'm really sorry about all this.
我知道
I know.
我们一起解决,好吗？
We'll fix it together, okay?
所有的事情
All of it.
好的
Okay.
好了,来了,来了来了
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
嘿. 哇偶
Hey.Whoa.
我真是谢谢你了 - 不，我的意思是你好
Thank you. - No, I mean hey,
嘿,你好,戴安
hey, hey, Diane.
我...你还好吗?
I... You okay?
还好吧
Fine.
好滴
Okay.
总之,感谢你拿过来的手推车
Well, thank you for bringing the hand truck.
好吧
Okay.
你确定你还好吗,小戴？
Sure you're okay, D?
查克背着我和街对面的谭雅亚科诺
Chuck's been cheating on me for 10 years.
已经出轨了10年了
With Tanya Iacono from across the street.
唉,小戴,那...那真是太惨了
Oh, D, that...That is terrible.
我很抱歉
I am so sorry.
我有那么蠢吗?
Am I that much of an idiot?
不,当然没有了
No, no, no, no.
她-她有着像费莉希蒂一样的卷发
Sh-She has this curly hair like Felicity.
而且还卖♥♥着雅芳
And she sells Avon.
拥有好些花哨的乳霜
Has all those fancy creams.
但是,小戴,你...你头发也很棒,你知道不？
But, D, you... you have great hair, too, you know?
你...你比他强太多了
You're... You're too good for him.
没有他你活的更好
You're better off without him,
所以...干脆把他一脚踢开
so just...just kick him to the curb.
就是就是
Yeah, yeah.
没关系,真的
It's fine, it's fine.Yeah.
管他那么多呢
Just... to hell with him.
就是说呢,是吧？
Yeah.Right?
要是没有我的提醒
The jerk can't even remember to...
那个混♥蛋♥估计都不记得喝水
To drink water unless I remind him.
估计一周之内就能死掉
He'll probably drop dead in a week.
对,要的就是这种精神
Oh, that's the spirit.
对了,我们,嗯...
Oh, hey, let's, uh...
我们去海边玩几天,怎么样？
Let's go down the Seas for a few, huh?
我请?
My treat?
要不改天吧?
Can I get a rain check?
因为我正在捯饬家具呢
Um, 'cause I've been moving some furniture.
好了
Okay.
好了 - 我还有... - 就这样吧
Okay, - I'll just...- Alright.
拜
Bye.
你必须让他保持安静好吗
You have to keep him quiet.
对不起,我又没挟持过人♥质♥
I'm sorry, I've never had a hostage before.
现下当然不擅长了
I'm not great at it yet.
理论上我觉得应该是绑♥架♥,不是挟持人♥质♥
I think it's technically kidnapping, not hostage taking.
你认真的吗？
Are you serious?
噢,大事不好,凯文回来了
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, that's Kevin.
噢,天呐
Oh, God.
天呐,多么棒的一个晚上啊
Oh, God, what a night!
我就像为政♥治♥活动而生的一样
It's like I was made for politicking.
多亏你这双小肉手,它们正适合握手
It's those meaty mitts.They're great for handshaking.
确实人们都说我香肠手(指笨手笨脚）
I've always been told I'm ham-handed.
现在我反而把他变成优势了
Now I made it a positive.
这条腰带勒死我了
Ah, this belt is killin' me.
不过仔细想想
Hey, think about it, though.
如果你赢了选举,你可以把这个城市
If you win,you could make this town
变得更好
a much better place to live.
对我们而言
For us.
你说对了,想想...
It's true.think about it...
可以整天游♥行♥,还没有超速罚单
Parades,no speeding tickets,
想在哪个酒吧外小便都没人管
peeing outside any bar we damn well please!
我们必须把他弄出去
Hey! We have to get him out of here.
对头
Oh, yeah.
这就对了,我认为我这个新的市议员
That's it. I think this new City Councilman
值得一瓶啤酒
has earned himself a beer.
先别
No, hey...