凯文滚一边（2021）

Kevin Can F- Himself S01E02

Part 7 Oct. 25, 2021, 2:43 p.m.

安保系统不管用
Oh, uh, that whole security system wasn't working.
摄像头模糊不清狗一点用没有
The cameras were blurry, the dog was a bum,
球棒在我和尼尔砸西瓜的时候断了
and the bat broke when Neil and I were smashing watermelons.
我全都扔了
I scrapped all of it.
全扔了
All of it?
狗也是 - 我还给我的人了
Even the dog? - I took him back to my guy.
在他发现比尔拴在他门柱上的时候
I expect I'll get some sort of store credit
应该还能得点代金券
once he finds "Bill" tied to his porch.
你把狗扔了
You abandoned the dog?
我走的时候把我的培根鸡蛋奶酪三明治给他留了一半
When I left, I gave him half my bacon, egg, and cheese.
如果这是抛弃每天早晨读抛弃我一次
If that's abandonment, abandon me every morning.
有那笔保险的钱我就能买♥♥那件
With that insurance money, I can get the hoodie
贝利切克在2017季后赛穿的连帽衫了
that Belichick wore in the 2017 playoffs.
所以另外一件连帽衫 - 留着吧外国人
So, that other hoodie - Keep it, foreigners!
得分板再加一笔
Put another win on the board!
人生游戏凯文362胜
In the game of life, it's Kevin 632,
人生3胜
Life 3.
新贝利切克连帽衫日宝贝
New Belichick Hoodie Day, baby!
不好意思
Oh, um, excuse me.
这里是有个心理咨♥询♥师办公室吗
Is there a therapist office in here?
心理咨♥询♥师
Therapist?
对
Ah, yeah.
要芭芭拉一样的发型
Just, uh, ask for a wash like Barb gets.
她会给你安排
She'll hook you up.
安排
She'll "hook me"...
是药啊
Oh, it's drugs.
等一下
One sec.
见鬼
Shit.
见鬼
Shit.
凯文滚一边下集预告
On the next "Kevin Can Himself".
凯文艾丽森一生一世
Kevin and Alison together forever.
看到你让我有点内疚
Seeing you again makes me feel a little guilty.
是吗
Oh, yeah?
你为了什么场合打扮这么好看
You got a special occasion you want to look nice for?
珍这位是艾丽森艾丽森我妻子珍
Jenn, this is Alison. Alison, my wife, Jenn.
我们之前见过
We've actually met before.
我们现在出于确保相互毁灭的状态了
We're in that mutually assured destruction territory now.
你是怎么回事
What the hell's been going on with you?
我心里那根弦绷断了
Something in me just snapped.