凯文滚一边（2021）

Kevin Can F- Himself S01E01

Part 2 Oct. 25, 2021, 2:43 p.m.

不我去
No!
黄色的月亮
* A yellow moon
怎么会有人想到
Why would anyone put a trash can there
把垃圾桶放在那里
in the first place?
对这些生命中最美好的东西
* Yes, these are the best things in life
如果缺了你的爱
* Without your love
对我毫无意义
* It doesn't mean a thing
因为只有你赋予这些事
* For only you can make these things
铭记的意义
* Worth remembering
想要的话就是你的了
Man: It's yours if you want it.
只想要的话还不够吧
I don't think it's wanting it enough that's the problem.
我们又出了一个新房♥源
Well, a new listing came in.
我一看到它就想到了你
I thought of you the minute I saw it.
你说啥
What?
卖♥♥家很积极房♥子在关口之内
Sellers are motivated, it's within the gates,
但在较小的那边而且你只需要付5%的收腹
but on the smaller side, and you only need 5% down.
差不多是我们所有的积蓄了
That's, like, all our savings.
十年的存款付首♥付♥
10 years' worth just for a down payment?
我可能不行
I don't think I could --Eh.
还有再商量的余地
Math is workable.
还能再商量嘛
Math is workable?
进来吧我们来详细掰扯掰扯
Come on in, we'll do some crunching.
我帮你拿外套
I'll take your coat.
进来吧给我
Come on. Here.
- 让我 - 等一下
Um, let me, um --Just a sec.
对不起
Sorry. Oh!
天搞什么
God, what the hell?
我的天啊太抱歉了
Oh, my God. I am so sorry.
哦不我咬到了舌头
Oh, no. I just bit my tongue.
- 我可以 - 不了
Can I -- No, no.
进来吧我们可以讨论
Just come in, and we can discuss the --
这样吧还是算了
You know what? It's -- It's fine.
我觉得现在谈
'Cause I don't think this actually would really make
可能也不会有太大可能
a lot of sense for us right now.
对
Mm. Yeah.
你应该好好冰敷一下
But you should really ice that.
打扰下
Hi. Excuse me.
嗨
Hi. Woman: Hi.
你觉得我适合哪种红色呢
Um, could you tell me what shade of red is right?
我的结婚纪念日快到了
I-It's my anniversary coming up,
我一直挺喜欢那种经典大红唇你懂吗
and I've always loved kind of the classic red lip, you know?
但我每次想试一下的时候
But when I try, I always choose
总是选错颜色然后看起来很廉价
the wrong shade of red and end up looking trashy.
是说你吗怎么会呢
With you? Impossible.
- 客气了 - 不不
Come on. No, no.
我觉得你现在涂得颜色就很合适
I think whatever you're wearing now is perfect.
完全同意
I totally agree.
整个造型都非常美
This whole look really works for you.
是的
Yeah.
啊我就涂了一层无色唇膏而已
Well, it's just tinted ChapStick.
你们可以直说的
Well, you coulda told me.
一张强力球随机彩票幸运数字是爱德曼11号♥
And a Powah Ball quick pick, bonus numbah 11 for Edelman.
再加几个车轮刮刮器
And, uh, throw in a couple of the wheel scratchers.
我女儿最喜欢了
My girl likes 'em.
艾丽森
Allison.
亲爱的你来了你还好吗
There's my girl. How are ya?
哈喽 D 我挺好的
Hey, D. I'm -- I'm good.
你呢
How are you?
我也还行不过你叔叔查克正背疼犯了
Eh, you know, better than your Uncle Chuck with his back.
他们管这叫椎间盘突出
They call it a slipped disc?
反正疼得像是从三层楼梯上摔下来一样
More like it tripped down three flights of stairs.
话说回来
But...
又有什么办法呢
what can you do, right?
试下物理治疗吧
Physical therapy?
亲你衣服好像挂到了
Oh, sweetie, you got a little snag.
哦这个漂亮的袋子里是啥啊
Ooh. What's in the fancy bag?
给你婶婶带什么好东西了
You bring your auntie something nice.
不是的是给凯文买♥♥的
Uh, no. It's for Kevin.
我给他买♥♥了一块手表周年纪念礼物
I got him a watch for our anniversary.
哎哟喂
Mm. La-de-da.
- 那他给你买♥♥了什么 - 还没买♥♥
What'd he get you?Nothing yet.
他想让我直接告诉他我想要什么
He wants me to tell him what I want.
好男人
Mm. Good man.
我们一周年时查克给我买♥♥了双跑鞋
O-Our first anniversary, Chuck got me running shoes.
跑鞋你敢相信吗
Yeah. Can you imagine?
姐的膝盖不是用来跑步的
These knees don't run.
别让男人猜
Don't make men guess.
直接告诉他你想要一台戴森或者潘多拉的手链
Tell him you want a Dyson or a Pandora's bracelet.
这些我都不想要
Well, I-I don't want any of that.
看来生活已经很富足了
Sign of a good life.
你很幸运亲爱的
You got lucky, honey.
我们都很幸运
We both did.
凯文
Kevin?
- 在 - 太好了你回来了
Present.Oh, good, you're home.
我回来了也完蛋了
I'm home and I'm screwed.
开派对的消息传到了公♥司♥
Word of the party got around work.
一直传到了博斯曼·哈里森耳朵里
All the way up to Bossman Harrison.
是么
Uh-huh.
这下他也要来了太扫兴了
Now he's coming and he cannot hang.
我知道周年礼物我想要什么了
I found what I want for our anniversary.
不是让你先跟尼尔说吗
I told you to tell Neil.
我说了他已经在隔壁哭上了
I did. He's crying next door.
纪念日快乐
Happy anniversary.
这是什么
What's this?
我们要搬家了
We're moving!
所以我们需要打印信用记录
Okay, so we need to get a credit report
填写申请表格
and fill out an application.
还有你之前已经把学生贷款还清了吧
And you paid off that student loan a while back, right?
如果一个人根本没上大学为什么要还贷款
Why would I pay it back if you never went to college?
- 因为你还是用了那笔钱 - 对
Because you still used it.Yeah.
投资在尼尔的猫头鹰双♥臀♥餐厅了
To invest in Neil's Hooters for Butts business.
结果没用多久
Ah, yes. Only a matter of time
你就看到了结局
till you see that back-end.
你能把平板递给我吗
Can you, uh, hand me the tablet?
你为什么涂身体乳啊
Why are you doing that?
电影里的女士们不都这么做嘛
Well, ladies always do it in the movies,
我想享受下这美妙的感觉
and I wanted to feel fancy.
凯文这座房♥子就很美妙
Kev, thisis fancy.
你看这里有花岗岩的台面还有储藏室
Look, it's got granite countertops and a mudroom.
不出一个月我们就会搬到阿默斯特盖茨了
We could be Amherst Gates residents in one month.
挺好的宝贝是挺好的
It's great, babe. It is.
不过
But, I mean...
我们真的要搬走吗
do we have to go?
就不能保持原样吗
Can't some things just stay the same anymore?
我们已经存了很久的钱付得起首♥付♥
We've saved for so long. We can cover the down payment.
我们可以拥有自己的家
We can own a home.
那个房♥子真的比这里好很多吗
Is it really that much better than this place?
重点不在房♥子你知道吗
It's not about the house, you know?
这是一个全新的开始
It's a fresh start.
我们的人生还有无限可能
We can be everything we always wanted.
我不知道我们还能成为谁
I don't know what else we could be, but...
不过好吧
but okay.
好的
Okay.
艾丽森想要什么都可以
What Allison wants, Allison gets.
好的
Good.
我已经跟银行约好了派对周末结束后
'Cause I've already made an appointment at the bank
周一大早我们就过去
first thing Monday morning after the party.
别提派对了
Ah. What party?
大老板哈里森要来完全没有派对的气氛了
It's useless now that High and Mighty Harrison is coming.
我得时刻小心翼翼战战兢兢
Being around him is constant work.