凯文滚一边（2021）

Kevin Can F- Himself S01E03

Part 7 Oct. 25, 2021, 2:44 p.m.

我这堆傻乎乎的素食乱炖
My lame-ass batch of vegetarian stew...
加上我这堆诱人的肌肉
And my gorgeous pile of manly meat.
变成了世界上最美味的
Into the greatest friendship chili
友谊辣椒酱
this world has ever tasted.
我来小试吃一下
Well, I gotta give this a little test.
不行不行皮特我爱你
W-- No, no, no, no. Pete, I love you,
但你闻起来像宠物饲料
but you smell like the pellets at a petting zoo,
你得离辣椒酱至少1.5米远
and I need you to stay five feet away from the chili.
凭啥你就能这么做
Well, how is that okay?
因为这是我的酱
Because it's my chili.
不好意思
I'm sorry.
我们的酱
Ourchili.
很高兴我们都鼓起勇气
I'm so glad we were both man enough to admit
承认需要彼此
we need each other.
- 正常的那种需要 - 不是变♥态♥的那种
In a totally normal way.In a totally normal way.
要我说你们俩还是分开一段时间比较好
You ask me, you could both do with some more time apart.
不不不
No.No, no, no.
凯文需要尼尔
No, he -- Kevin needs a Neil.
我们已经开始计划
We've already begun planning
该怎么弥补失去彼此的日子了
to make up for the lost goofin' time.
对先是水球大战然后连刷《神探飞机头》
Yeah, water balloon fight. Then, "Ace Ventura" marathon
接下来是我们无与伦比的捉迷藏游戏
followed by one of our epic games of hide and seek.
艾丽森接下来24小时你可能见不到我了
Allison, you might not see me for the next 24 hours.
天啊不要
Oh, no!
不过首先我们给伦祖利兄弟送点辣酱
But first, let's get this chili to the Renzulli Brothers.
凯文带着尼尔出发啦
To the Kev-mobile!
加油来吧左边
Come on. Left. Ow. Ow.
- 左边 -痛啊
Left. Ow.
- 左边继续 - 好痛
Left. Keep going. Ow!
它在盯着我看
It's looking at me.
对它就这个猪样
Yeah, it does that.
所以他们觉得你理所当然会清理干净
So, I guess they just assume you'll clean it up.
好吧我们该怎么处理
Okay, what are we gonna do about this?
- 用电锯吧 - 我是说药的事
Chainsaw? N-- I mean the pills.
听着艾丽森我在发廊已经说过了
Listen, Allison, I already told you at the salon.
- 我金盆洗手了 - 帕蒂你不明白
I'm out, okay? Patty, you don't understand.
我需要这些药而你是
I need this, and you're m--
唯一能帮上忙的人
the only one that can help.
你知道吗
Okay, you know what?
既然我已经说了这么多你要知道答案
We're sharing so much now? You like answers?
那我也一样
So do I.
你为什么需要这些
Why do you actually need these?
你到底出了什么事
What the hell's been going on with you?
就是
I just...
我陷入了困境
I'm in a really bad place.
你告诉我凯文清空我们账户的那晚
The night that you told me that Kevin drained the account,
我整个人失控了
I lost it.
我放纵了一回
I went on a bender.
还记得你帮我擦掉脸上的粉吗
That powder that you wiped off my face,
其实是粉
that was coke.
白粉儿
"Cain."
我明白
Ye-- I know what you meant.
我内心的某些东西突然崩溃了
Somethin' in me just snapped,
所以我决定去吸点
and I made this decision.
我不知道该不该告诉你这个
I don't know if I should tell you.
我喝醉不省人事
Um, I got blackout drunk,
然后发现
and apparently,
我从酒吧里一个人那里偷了点奥施康定
I stole a bunch of oxys from this guy at a bar.
我太醉了都不记得他的名字了
I was so drunk, I don't even remember his name.
可能叫杰森吧
It was, um, Jason, maybe.
这玩意儿肯定很难弄到
And they must be hard to get,
因为我本来要赔他钱他不收
because he won't take money for them,
他说我最好再弄点
and he said that I g-- I'd better get more.
帕蒂我搞砸了我很害怕
Patty, I screwed up, and I'm scared.
求你了
Please.
好吧
Okay. I--
我保证不了什么
I got no guarantee.
但我在佛蒙特州可能有个门路
But I may have a connection in Vermont.
- 我打几个电♥话♥帮你问问 - 谢谢你
I'll make a few phone calls.Oh, thank you.
先别谢我
Well, don't thank me yet.
如果他说可以我会过去跟他见面
I mean, if this works, I'll go up there soon.
但就算我能搞的到
But even if I get anything,
这也是我最后一次找他好吗
I'm using this pipeline once, okay?
当然我懂我懂
Of course, of course.
我会把你要的给你
I'll get your stuff
剩下的够让我的客户戒掉毒瘾
and enough to wean my clients off,
然后我就彻底不做了
and then, I'm done.
明白当然
Yes, sure.
我觉得你应该跟我一起去
And I think you should come with me.
是吗
Really?
我需要用车
I need a car.
你可以借凯文的
You can borrow Kevin's.
哦好吧
Oh. Okay.
行吧
Yeah, okay.
我们我们一起去
We'll -- We'll go together.
天这里臭的要死了
God, it smells like death out here.
你总是伤害
* You always hurt
你爱的人
* The one you love
凯文滚一边下集预告
On the next "Kevin Can Himself"...
我不能再这样生活下去了
I can't live like this anymore.
- 不能 - 艾莉森很可爱
I can't.Kevin: Allison's cute and all,
但有时她可能觉得我是个傻♥逼♥
but sometimes I think she thinks I'm an idiot.
世界都围着他转
The world revolves around him.
我真的很需要那些药
I really need those pills.
你是帕蒂·奥康纳吗我是塔米·瑞吉维警探
Patty O'Connor? Detective Tammy Ridgeway.
- 伍斯特警句的 - 我们不闲聊好吗
Worcester PD.We're not bonding, okay?
他们在找卖♥♥家
They're looking to trade.
艾丽森
Allison?
会没事的
It's going to be fine.
那个你根本不应该伤害的人
* The one you shouldn't hurt at all
你总是拿走
* You always take
那朵最美的玫瑰
* The sweetest rose
将它碾碎
* And crush it
直到花瓣凋零
* Till the petals fall
你总是伤害
* You always hurt
你爱的那个人
* The one you love