凯文滚一边（2021）

Kevin Can F- Himself S01E01

Part 4 Oct. 25, 2021, 2:43 p.m.

所以过去15年我错过了什么
So, what'd I miss the last 15 years?
伍斯特吗？
In Worcester?
凯利广场的三个新交通规则
There were, like, three new traffic plans
你都错过了哦
for Kelly Square that you missed out on.
你的损失呢
So...condolences.Mm.
我回来一定是脑子抽风了
I must be crazy coming back here.
对啊所以你为啥要回来
Yeah. So, um, why did you?
就是冥冥之中有种力量拉你回来
Kinda just pulls you back.
我懂
Yeah. I get it.
所以你回来多久了住在哪里
Uh, so, how long you been back, and where you staying?
珍的父母还住在老房♥子里
Well, uh, Jenn's parents are still in their old house.
对
Right.
我们正在翻新旧水塔附近
We're actually renovating a place
的一个地方
down near the old water tower.
那很不错啊
Happy for you.
我得走了
Okay. Um, well, I'm gonna get going.
等等我给你做个熟食拼盘吧
Hold on. I can make that charcuterie plate for you.
不用不劳费心我不介意的
No, don't worry about it.I don't mind. Really, I'm --
我自己搞得定
I can take care of it.
不过谢谢了
But thank you.
我早该知道你高中时
I shoulda known you'd be trouble when you tried
把口音改掉会很麻烦了
to drop your accent in high school.
芝肉拼盘
Meats.
- 嗨 - 嘿
Hey. Hey.
怎么了
What?
没事
Nothing.
哇哦这派对开的
Wow. Some party.
很
Uh, it's...
高级啊
elegant.
- 很低调 - 死气沉沉的
It's understated.It's dead.
你能让外面的一些人进来吗
Can't you get some of the people from outside to come in here?
派对上总得有几个活人吧
I could use a few bodies.
宝贝这是我们的周年纪念
Babe, it's ouranniversary.
我怎么会让朋友们来
Of course I'm not gonna ask my friends
这种无聊的活动呢
to come to this lame thing.
你可以让你♥爸♥爸的朋友进来啊
You can ask some of your dad's friends.
不不不他们在外面玩纹身枪呢
No, no, no. They're outside revving up the tattoo gun.
整个计划正在精密进行中
This whole event is a finely tuned machine.
你干嘛要搞破坏呢
Why are you trying to mess with it?
我很焦虑啊我们明早还得早起
I'm anxious. We have to be up early.
这一堆不知要打扫到几点了
I'm already thinking about cleanup.
我们在开派对你却在担心
So, we're having a party and you're thinking
打扫的事
about cleaning up?
我忘了你家有精神病遗传病史了
I always forget mental illness runs in your family.
名牌带过来了
I brought the name tags.
我们不都认识吗不打招呼的吗
I'm pretty sure we already know each other's names.
凯尔文对吗
"Kelvin"? Yeah.
我之前给有线电视公♥司♥
Kevin McRoberts has some complaints
打过差评
on the ol' cable company record,
所以入职博斯曼·哈里森的时候
so when Bossman Harrison got hired,
我都告诉别人我叫凯尔文·麦克罗伯茨
I introduced myself as Kelvin McLoberts.
喂不要印在咖啡桌上去不掉的
Hey, no permanent marker on the coffee table.
- 这是陶器 - 二手货
This is from Pottery --Both: Goodwill.
是陶器坊的
It's Pottery Barn.
我得出去一下活跃下气氛
I gotta get outside, control the flow.
不能困在这里傻等我的臭老板
I can't be stuck in here waiting for my pain-in-the-ass boss,
哈里森先生
Mr. H-Harrison.
欢迎
Welcome.
我们刚在讨论一部新剧
We were just discussing a new TV show.
叫臭老板
"Ass Boss."
- 凯尔文 - 哇哦
Kelvin. Whoa.
天啊
Geez.
圣餐之后我就没享受过这么好的酒了
Haven't had something this fancy since communion.
哈里森先生感谢您大驾光临
Mr. Harrison, so glad you could come.
麦克罗伯茨夫人
Mrs. McLoberts.
一个小妇人没想到握手这么有力
Strong handshake from a little lady.
大多数妇女在50岁时就骨质疏松了
Most women develop osteoporosis by 50.
你很幸运嘛
Good for you.
50 我还差得远呢
50? I'm not even close.
这是熟肉拼盘吗
Ooh, is that a charcuterie plate?
当然是
It sure is.
谢天谢地你得马上出去
Oh, thank God. You're needed outside ASAP.
那个汤姆·布莱迪说玩翻杯子他天下无敌手
The Tom Bradys are saying they can beat anyone at flip cup,
大家都说他赢不了你
and they called you out by name.
哈里森先生这是我的邻居尼尔
Mr. Harrison? Uh, this is my neighbor Neil.
嗨我是凯尔文的邻居和好哥们尼尔
Hi, I'm Kelvin's neighbor and closest companion, Neil.
他家出了点小问题
He needs me to help him with a problem
需要我去帮个小忙
in his house for a moment.
- 他的水管 - 着火了
His plumbing --Caught on fire.
对他家水管着火了
Yup. His plumbing caught on fire.
煤气管道和水管缠在了一起
The gas lines got tangled up with the water pipes.
其实这种事会发生的
It happens more than you think.
对我要去处理一下
Yeah. I should go deal with that.
现在吗
Yeah. Now?
派对才刚刚开始啊
'Cause the party just started.
我知道不过那里更需要我
I know. But I'm needed elsewhere.
有个好邻居是件幸事
It's nice to have good neighbors.
对啊
Yeah.
别扫了你晚餐的兴致
Well, uh, don't ruin your dinner.
我还做了鹌鹑
I made quail. Oh.
我能问一下吗
Can I just ask...
你们家有寄存间吗
do you have a mudroom?
有的
I do.
很好啊
Great.
我
I...
很喜欢你的咖啡桌
like your coffee table.
谢谢
Thank you.
我帮您倒杯酒可以
Can I get you a glass of wine?
好的
Alright.
那好
Great.
我马上回来
I'll be right back.
不不他去哪儿了
No, no, no. Where'd he go?
兄弟们慢着我觉得他接受不了这个
Guys, guys, be cool. I don't think he's into this.
什么鬼
-What the hell? -Gah!
- 凯尔文我从来 - 都是艾莉森的主意
Kelvin, I never --I-It was Allison's idea!
我从来都没有享受过这种兄弟般的待遇
I never get to be one of the boys!
等等什么意思
Wait, what?
大家开派对从不邀请我
Nobody invites me anywhere!
人们忘了在区域安装总监
People forget that behind the grandeur
闪耀的名头背后
of "regional director of installation,"
我只是一个普通人
I'm just a man.
一个喜欢生活中简简单单快乐的普通人
A man who likes the simple things in life.
喜欢跟这个酷似汤姆·布拉迪的哥们儿
Like shotgunning brewskies with guys
一起玩玩散弹
who slightly resemble Tom Brady.
他是我四表哥
He's my fourth cousin.
当然了兄弟
Sure he is, bro.
我就知道你会玩的开心
I knew you were gonna be a good time.
所以我才让布兰达一定要邀请你过来
That's why I made sure Brenda invited you.
她没邀请我
She didn't.
她没有
She didn't invite me.
该死的布兰达
Aw. Damn Brenda!
她是觉得我不够好玩吗
Doesn't think I can hang.
什么
What?
她见过你这么做吗
Has she seen you do that?
很开心我来了
I'm so glad I made it.
这个派对终于好玩起来了
And now that the party's finally getting good, thank God.
不如你来后院加入我们吧
Why don't you join us in the backyard?
我们可以再搭一个啤酒乒乓的场子
We can do another beer bong hit out there.
你觉得我们把啤酒换成高级的皮诺葡萄酒怎么样
Uh, you think we can do it with a nice Pinot this time?
可以
Sure.