凯文滚一边（2021）

Kevin Can F- Himself S01E03

Part 4 Oct. 25, 2021, 2:44 p.m.

她叫珍两个N
Jenn, with two "N's."
我挺讨厌她的
Mm, I hate her.
以前我关店之后他会把灯关掉
Um, I would lock up and he would turn the sign off,
然后我们到后厨
and then we would go in back in the kitchen
鬼混一番
and fool around.
我跟珍不熟
And I didn't know Jenn that well,
所以感觉没那么糟
so it didn't seem quite as terrible.
更多是一种我把她比下去的心理
It just felt like I wanted to beat her.
刺♥激♥又危险
And it was fun and dangerous.
你对危险的理解
Having sex in front of the tortilla chips
就是在玉米片前面做♥爱♥吗
is your idea of dangerous?
那是我做过最坏的事了
Well, it's the worst thing I've ever done.
所以你又要去跟他鬼混了
So, you're gonna go fool around.
不是
No.
听上去你挺想的
Kinda sounds like you want to.
- 他已经结婚了 - 你也结婚了
He's married.You're married.
当然当然了
E-- Of co-- Yes, of course.
我们都结婚了
We're both married, yes.
所以绝对不可能的
It's not gonna happen.
你就穿这个去
And this is what you're wearing?
我就提醒下
I'm just saying.
你不是有条盖璞的裹身裙吗
You have that wrap dress from the Gap.
我会回家换身衣服的好吗
Well, I'm going to go home and change, okay?
所以你呢
So, what about you?
你和科特玩得开心吗
You have fun hanging out with Kurt?
你们开心吗
Did you have fun?
嗯
Uh, yeah.
还行
It was fine.
你们出去下馆子了还是
Okay, did you go out, or...?
- 没有 - 行吧
No. Oh, okay.
那也很好啊一个会做饭的男人
Well, that's nice. A man who can cook.
但要做得好吃才行他厨艺好吗
Unless he's bad at it. Is he bad at it?
我不知道科特就是这样
I don't know. He -- He's Kurt.
他开一袋沙拉倒在盘子里
He opened a bag of salad, put it on a plate,
然后看着我吃
and then watched me eat it.
这样的话那我宁愿选凯文
Okay, well, I'd take that over being chained to Kevin
虽然他做的辣椒酱世界级的难吃
while he makes the world's most disgusting chili.
科特还觉得我俩都吃得很健康呢
Kurt thinks we're eating healthy together.
我昨晚吃的那个芝士汉堡
That cheeseburger I had last night
是这周第三个了
was my third this week.
憋说话
Shut up.
你为了见我打扮这么漂亮啊小妞
Oh, you got all done up for me, huh, sweetie?
你已经准备好接客了对吧
Really putting yourself out there, aren't ya?
慢慢适应自己的新职业
Yeah, settling in to your new profession.
对了你还想让我给你安排
Hey, let me know if you want me to set up
几个桥下的约会吗
any more appointments under the bridge.
喂你好
Yes, hello.
我刚才路过克拉克街小学
Um, I was just walking by Clark Street Elementary,
看到一个人在卖♥♥毒品
and I saw a man selling drugs.
我跟踪他到了白金汉大街的汽车修理厂
And I followed him to the auto body on Buckingham Ave.
他在那里工作
He works there.
你们一定要管管我不想让这个恶魔
Please help, because I don't want this monster
把毒品卖♥♥给孩子
getting children hooked on drugs.
不客气
Okay, well, you're welcome.
感谢接听
Thank you for your time.
好的拜拜
Okay, bye-bye.
凯文你回来了吗
Kev, you back yet?
天呐凯文拜托
Jesus Christ, Kev, come on.
时机太完美了
Perfect timing!
猜猜我有什么
Guess what I got?
一只猪
A pig.
叮叮叮
Dinga-ding-ding!
这就是我们的杀手锏
This is our trump card, baby!
它在盯着我看
It's, um, staring at me.
你可以
Can you --
这样好多了
Oh, there you go. Much better.
躲猫猫
Peek-a-boo! Oh!
开玩笑的
Just kidding.
我开玩笑的
I'm just kidding.
笨蛋尼尔以为他可以用鸟肉
Stupid Neil thinks he's gonna win
赢我的猪肉
with bird meat when I got a pig on my side!
亮出它比赛就可以结束了
This is game over, right here.
这猪确实是结束了
Certainly is for the pig.
我要按上帝预设的想法来烹饪它
I'm gonna cook him as God intended --
用大火烤上一整夜
all night long over a roaring open flame
离我们家十英尺
10 feet from our house.
会很有意思的
It's gonna be a great time, babe!
你会爱上它的
You're gonna love it.
我会爱上它吗
I'm gonna love it?
对啊这是我的惊喜
Oh, yes. That's my surprise.
你和我凯文和艾莉森
You and me -- Kevin and Allison --
这个后院里最厉害的组合
the greatest duo that this backyard has ever seen.
我们在一起整整八个小时
We got eight hours of togetherness
烤一只猪
over a roasting pig.
你想要我在这吗
You want me to be here?
我一个人做不来啊
I can't do this on my own!
并不是说我需要什么人帮忙
Not that I need anyone!
好吧可是你只需要
Okay, well, all you have to do
看着火然后别睡着就行了
is just watch an open flame and try not to fall asleep,
所以为什么需要我在这
so w-why do you need me here?
不止是别睡着
It's so much more than just not falling asleep.
尼尔和我
Neil and I...
那个邻居和我
That neighbor guy and I
以前经常做这种事情
used to do this sort of stuff all the time.
拜托会很有意思的
Come on, it's gonna be the best time.
我们可以借这个机会整晚喝啤酒
We got an excuse to pound beers all night long.
而且半夜三点的时候
And then, around 3:00 A.M.,
我可以一句不差的表演
I'll do my line-for-line reenactment
心灵捕手
of "Good Will Hunting."
- 虽然听上去很好 - 艾丽森
Oh, as great as that sounds, I --Allison.
不是你的错
It's not your fault.
嗯我知道
Yeah, I-I know.
这不是你的错艾莉森
It's not your fault, Allison.
我知道
Yes. No, I understand.
艾丽森这是电影里的台词
Allison. It's from the film.
这不是你的错
It's not your fault. Uh-huh.
你看多么有意思啊
I mean, see? How great is that?!
不来的话你要去哪里
Where else are you gonna be?
我有工作
Well, I have a work --
在打包店有事要做
I have a work at the package store.
我就在这
I'll be here.
等着你
Waitin' for you.
我也会等你
Oh! "So will I!"
是他的错
It was his fault!
可以等一下下吗
Would you just hold on one second?
当然
Yeah, sure.
嗨天呐
Hi. Oh, my God.
抱歉嗨
Uh -- S-Sorry. Hi.
很高心你能来
So glad you made it.
你看上去不错
Ugh. Uh, you look great.
谢谢你
Oh, thank you.
我不知道该做什么
Uh, I-I don't really know what to do.
从来没来过这种场合
I've never been to one of these before.
别担心不是什么太重要的事
Oh, yeah, don't worry. It's not a big deal.
你从来没有来过互助会吗
Um, you've never been to a meeting?
没有
No.
你觉得我应该来过吗
Do you think I should have?
请别这么想我不是那个意思
No. No, please. That's not what I meant.
你是我见过的最自律
Um, you're the most self-controlled person
的人了
I ever met.