凯文滚一边（2021）

Kevin Can F- Himself S01E03

Part 2 Oct. 25, 2021, 2:44 p.m.

已经放很久了我给你煮一壶新的
It's been sitting for a while. Make a fresh pot.
别不用我不挑
No, no, I'm not picky.
那天晚上的事我很抱歉
I am sorry for the other night.
我那天很不顺
Just had a really bad day,
你说了一些我不太爱听的话
and you were saying some stuff that I didn't, uh --
没关系
It's not a big deal.
不是我太没礼貌了
Wha-- No, I was rude.
跟你在一起的时候我觉得
When I'm around you, I feel --
自己重回15岁了而我15岁时就是个捣蛋鬼
I don't know -- 15, and I was a brat at 15.
所以很抱歉
So I am sorry.
- 咖啡凉了 - 说过要重新给你煮一壶的
It's cold. I told you I'd make a new pot.
- 我 - 不不用
I c-- it's not --No, no.
没事我只配喝凉咖啡
No, it's okay. I deserve this.
嗯好坚强哇
Mm. Mm. So stoic.
我也很抱歉
I'm sorry, too.
我觉得我只是在
I think I was kinda harsh to cover the fact
努力隐藏再次见你的
that seeing you again makes me feel a little...
负罪感
guilty.
是吗
Oh, yeah?
我跟我的互助人一起做改进计划时
When I was working the steps with my sponsor,
我列出了自己需要赔罪的人
I listed out people to make amends to,
你的名字也在列
and you were on there.
而且是在前几位
Maybe towards the top.
我应该跟你打电♥话♥赔罪的
If anyone deserved a call...
不过我没那么做
I just didn't do it.
怎么你把我的电♥话♥号♥码弄丢了么
What, did you lose my number?
不我只是比较怂
Nope, just a coward.
我明晚会拿到戒酒互助会的纪念勋章
You know, I'm getting my chip in AA tomorrow night.
戒酒八年了
Eight years sober.
- 八年 - 对
Eight years? Yeah.
我感觉根本不认识这个焕然一新的你
Feel like I don't even know this version of you.
不过你看起来还是一点没变
You look the same, though.
你真的没变吗你这么说我很开心
I like that you think I'm the same.
你确实没变
You are.
他们建议邀请别人也来参加
They say to invite people to these things.
你想来吗
Would you come?
就当成我向你赔罪吧
Consider it me making my amends.
所以你要为特殊场合打扮的漂漂亮亮
So, you got a special occasion you wanna look nice for?
当然我丈夫要带我去巴黎呢
Sure, my husband's taking me to Paris.
搞笑我只想对自己好一点
No, this is self-care.
上次你给我设计的渐变层次
Woman: Last time, we did those swoopy layers.
会计部的凯西看了说发型不错
Cathy in accountin' says, "Nice haircut."
我懂她在说什么
And I knew what she meant.
她坚持要带发圈你能想象的到吗
Woman #2: And she's insisting on a band. Can you imagine?
不
No.
嗨辛迪
Hey, Cindy.
你能帮我洗个头吗
Hoping you can squeeze me in for a wash?
没问题
Okay, great.
稍等我一下亲爱的
One sec, hon.
我们来看看发型书
Let's have a look at the book.
问题是我现在没货了
So, thing is, I'm cleaned out at the moment.
哦这周有几个人情况不太好
Oh. We had a couple people in rough shape this week,
多拿了一些但我周一会补货
needed a bit more, but I'm re-upping Monday.
但我现在就需要
I sorta need 'em now.
听我说辛迪我知道你的膝盖伤到了
Listen, Cindy, I know your knee's blown,
但也就一两天多吃点布洛芬
but for a day or two, toss back a few ibuprofen.
就好了
It'll be fine.
帕蒂布洛芬你认真的吗
Patty. Ibuprofen? Are you serious?!
我真的很需要
I really need them.
好吧
Okay.
让我在想想办法好吗
Let me see what I can do, okay?
谢谢你
Thank you.Yeah.
谢谢对了
Thank you. Oh.
上次的钱
For last time.
谢谢你帮我掩饰
Thanks f-for frontin' for me.
我今后会小心的
It won't happen again.
不客气
No big thing.
宝贝你还是别脱外套了
Hey, babe, you might want to keep your coat on,
因为这里马上会很冷（辣椒）的
'cause it's about to get "chili" in here.
是说辣椒酱
Chili, the food.
感谢解释我真谢谢你了尼尔
Thank you for clearing that up, Neil.
今年就不能直接买♥♥辣椒酱吗
Can't you just buy the chili this year?
艾丽森亲
Sweet Allison.
伦祖利兄弟开♥发♥了这条街
The Renzulli Brothers don't plow our street
不是让我们吃商店里买♥♥的辣椒酱的
in exchange for store-bought chili.
不他们这么做是因为我们交了税
No, they do it 'cause we pay taxes.
伦祖利兄弟选择了这条街
The Renzulli Brothers plow our street
是因为我们贿赂了他们
early and often because we bribe them in,
原话是辣椒下肚烦恼无忧
and I quote, "Yummy-nummy chili in their tummies."
没错今年
That's right, and this year,
我们会做一批加了
we're making an extra-special batch
油炸火鸡肉的特制酱料
with deep-fried turkey meat --
火鸡肉是用我全新的
prepared, of course, using my brand-new
55000英热单位专业不锈钢火鸡油炸锅烹制的
55,000 BTU All-Pro Stainless Steel Turkey Deep Fryer.
这个设备也太性感了
She is a sexy little contraption.
我给她起名辣辣的小鸟
I call her the "Dirty Birdie."
就是
Is that the, uh --
停在我们车道上的那个东西
the thing that's set up in our driveway?
没错最好在户外进行
Bingo! Best to do it outdoors.
煎火鸡是很危险的
Frying a turkey can be very dangerous.
对有时候还会爆♥炸♥呢
Yeah, sometimes they explode,
原因不得而知
and no one knows why.
听起来蛮暴♥力♥的
Sounds violent.
安心啦老妈我会小心的
Don't worry, Mom, I'll be careful.
爆♥炸♥的火鸡由尼尔操刀
Neil's cooking the exploding turkey.
对怎么了
Yeah. Why?
我不太明白哈
I guess I was just confused
因为你通常是你负责做肉
'cause you usually cook the meat,
我以为这是你的辣椒酱
so I thought it was your chili.
就是啊因为我是幕后的魔术师
It is, since I'm the magician behind it.
你知道的我们两个都有参与所以
Uh, well, you know, we both work on it, so...
嗯但我是主要的魔术师
Yeah, but I'm the main magician.
你是无关紧要的观众
You're the random audience member
说我们从未见过面也不过分
we can all agree I've never met before.
嗯你错了
Um, you're wrong.
什么
What?
我说了无意冒犯
I said "no offense."
不你确实无意
No, you didn't.
我错了吗
I'm wrong?
如果我是错的
Uh, if I'm so wrong,
为什么我的计划想法和无所事事99%的情况下
how come my plans, ideas, and goof-arounds work out
都能成功
99% of the time?
呃因为我帮你操控了一切啃了难啃的骨头
Uh, 'cause you got me jukin' stats and crackin' skulls.
你需要我
You need me.
搞笑我不需要任何人
Pssh, I don't need anybody.
好吧那我只好拿走
Fine, then I'll take my
我的55000英热单位全专业不锈钢火鸡油炸锅
55,000 BTU All-Pro Stainless Steel Turkey Deep Fryer
做自己的辣椒酱去了
and make my own chili,
它会让你的辣椒酱尝起来跟水一样
and it's gonna blow yours into the water.
辣椒酱厨艺大战
A chili cook-off?
我祝你没有我的帮助
Good luck making anything the Renzulli Bros respect
做出让伦祖利兄弟满意东西
without my help.
我根本不需要你的帮助
Pfff. I don't need your help!
因为我有艾丽森
'Cause I've got Allison!Oh!
她会帮我做辣椒酱的
She's gonna help me cook the chili,
而且她比你强多了
and she is way better than you.
真不敢相信你会这么跌份儿
I can't believe you'd stoop that low.
亲我们已经在地狱边缘徘徊了
Oh, we're playing limbo now, baby.
你想像不到我会多跌份儿
You don't even know how low I can go!
欢迎加入梦之队宝贝
Welcome to the Dream Team, baby.