凯文滚一边（2021）

Kevin Can F- Himself S01E06

Part 5 Oct. 25, 2021, 2:44 p.m.

你说的一点都没错
You're proving my point.
哪个成功人士会在餐厅工作
What kinda winner has ever worked at a restaurant?
嘿你好啊你是艾丽森工作的餐厅老板吧
Hey, there, Allison's boss from the diner.
你还好吗凯文
How you doing, Kevin?
我是成功人士山儿
I'm a winner, Sal.
- 是山姆 - 多好的名字
- Sam. - Even better.
山姆你不觉得这个社区
Now, Sam, don't you feel there's a dire need
亟需改变吗
for real change in this neighborhood?
我说的是那种好的改变
Uh... And I'm talking about the good kind of change,
那种能让一切回到正轨的改变
the kind that gets things back to the way they used to be.
我喜欢你的想法
I actually like --
那就请为这个社区贡献一份力
Then please, do the world a favor
给凯文投票吧
and vote for Kevin.
谢谢你但是我得走了
Thanks. Uh, well, I should get going.
我就是来告诉艾丽森
Um, I just came by to tell Allison
如果有需要的话她可以休息一段时间
she could take some time off if she needs it.
反正现在餐厅也不忙
It's a little slow right now, anyways.
等等
Ugh! Wait!
- 中风 - 什么情况
- Stroke! - What?
不不是你想的那样
No, it's not what you think.
艾丽森总是说你的餐厅不行了
Allison is always saying how your diner is dead.
没有客人
Devoid of customers.
工作节奏比一群在花生酱跑道上的乌龟还慢
Slower than a herd of turtles on a peanut butter race track.
好吧我没有这么说过
Okay. Well, I never say that.
太完美了
It's perfect!
你的餐厅是我的绝佳竞选营地
Your diner is the perfect spot to be my venue!
- 多么空旷 - 好的
- It's so empty! - Okay.
- 呃其实 - 但是兄弟有我在
- Well, it's not - But hey, with me,
热情而饥饿的顾客会滚滚而来
you'll have a solid stream of hearty, hungry customers.
我的天
Oh, my God.
我们叫它肉肉欢迎你
We'll call it a "meat and greet"!
- 好吧但是山姆不想 - 不不
- Well, maybe Sam doesn't want - No, no.
是肉肉欢迎你
No, like a meat and greet.
肉吃肉的肉
Meat like M-E-A-T.
- 好的但是山姆不想 - 不不不
- Right, but maybe Sam doesn't - No, no, no.
肉就像意大利蒜味腊肠
Meat, like salami.
我去山姆太完美了
Ah! Sam, it's perfect!
没问题
Uh...sure.
至少可以让我做做生意
I could always use the business.
没错兄弟
Yeah, baby!
凯文的竞选有救了
The campaign of Kevin is saved!
不会吧
Neil: Damn it!
不用理他
He'll be fine.
我一直想知道什么样的傻瓜会在美容院买♥♥这些产品
I always wonder what sucker buys the product in a salon?
应该不多吧我想
Not many, I guess.
相信我这镇上有很多傻瓜
Trust me, there are plenty of suckers in this town.
只是最近生意不太好
It's been a little slow.
今天还有人预约吗
Did you even have any appointments today?
我们可以去打保龄球什么的
I mean, we could've gone bowling or something.
我在等客人上门呢
I was hoping for some walk-ins.
生意什么时候开始不好的
When did business start dying down?
不知道
I don't know.
最近吧
Recently.
我
I, uh...
听说你抓到那个毒贩了
heard you caught your dealer.
闯进艾丽森家里的那个
The guy who broke into Allison's house?
是的今早我们的人带着搜查令进了他家
Yeah. We got into his house this morning with a warrant.
他姑姑还给我倒了咖啡
His aunt offered me some coffee,
我敢肯定她往里面吐了口水
which I'm pretty sure was light with cream and spit,
但我们找到想要的东西了
but we got what we needed.
那
That's...
太好了
great.
这种人♥渣♥就该被抓起来
So glad to have that lowlife off the streets.
你叫他人♥渣♥是没错
Well, it's easy to call him a lowlife,
但是镇上很多人其实跟他也没什么不同
but he isn't much different than any other guy in this town.
嘿你想出去走走吗
Hey, you wanna get outta here?
我可以早点关门
I could close up shop a little early
我们一起去凯文的竞选活动吧
and we could go to Kevin's campaign event.
呃我我想想
Uh, I don't -- I don't know --
艾丽森一直在给我发新消息
Allison's been texting me updates,
感觉会是那种好笑又一团糟的活动
and it seems like one of those really fun train wrecks.
我不喜欢跟这种人一起玩
They're not my kinda company.
凯文就是个蠢蛋但是不管怎么样
Kevin's an idiot, but whatever happened
人♥渣♥也是人啊
to "lowlifes are people, too"?
是的但是我不太喜欢艾丽森
Yeah, um, I meant Allison.
什么
What?
我对她的感觉不太好
I just don't get a good feeling off her.
我我已经尽可能地去信任她了
I'd like to say I trust her as far as I can throw her,
但她总令我生疑
but she's like this big.
好吧
Yeah. Okay.
那我们就不去见证
We can skip watching the downfall
一个政♥治♥体系的衰败了我们出去玩吧
of the political system and just hang out.
打保龄球吧
Maybe go bowling.
谢谢你的理解
Thank you.
你这有卫生间吗
Hey, you got a ladies'?
有在后面
Yeah, it's in the back.
记得支持凯文·麦克罗伯茨
Remember, Kevin McRoberts --
因为这个世界就要下地狱了
Because the World is Going to Hell.
好的
Okay.
我们的竞选口号♥不是这样的
Okay that is not the campaign slogan, either.
你得说的简单点
No, no. You gotta keep it simple, like, uh --
比如你的名字加个感叹号♥
like maybe just your name with an exclamation point.
凯文
Kev!
冰淇淋车有米奇棒棒糖的那辆
The ice cream truck, the good one with the Mickey pops,
只有四个街区远
it's only four blocks away.
如果我们现在开溜就能赶上
If we haul ass, we can catch it.
不尼尔我怎么跟你说的
No, Neil, what have I told you?
我不会再开溜了
I'm done hauling ass.
从现在起我的整个人都是人♥民♥的
From now on, I'm putting my ass in the hands of the people.
你真能吹嘘但是我了解你兄弟
You talk a big game, but I know you, man.
只要一开始玩终极捉迷藏
The second you start a game of ultimate hide and seek
或者一看见那辆冰淇淋车
or see that ice cream truck,
你就控制不了自己了
you won't be able to help yourself.
凯文·麦克罗伯特他控制不了他自己
Kevin McRoberts -- He Can't Help Himself.
你知道吗尼尔
You know what, Neil?
也许你说的对
Maybe you're right.
我们来玩终极捉迷藏吧
Let's play ultimate hide and go seek.
你先藏
You hide first.
太好了
Yes.
数到3000 兄弟
Start counting to 3,000, buddy.
我们十年前就该这么做了
We shoulda started doing that 10 years ago.
她来了
Oh! There she is.
我们的第♥一♥夫♥人♥
Our first lady.
正好赶上你的重要时刻
Just in time for your big moment.
你就站在这儿你看看
You just stand right here, and look the way you do.
我以前搞摄影的时候
You know, in my photography days,
我们叫这相机猎物
we'd call that "camera meat."
什么搞摄影的时候
What photography days?
我以前是波士顿狗仔队的
I was a Boston Paparazzo.
所以你当年才会被詹姆斯·泰勒揍的吗
Oh, is that why you got punched in the face by James Taylor?
不是
No.
嘿那不是维克之家的警♥察♥吗
Hey, aren't those the cops from the Vic House?
对是的
Oh. Yeah.
击败了肖恩·埃弗里之后
Kept in touch with them after my trouncing
我们得和他们保持联♥系♥
of Sean Avery.
还有给我们慷慨捐赠的
And we have Mr. Harrison,
哈里森先生
who donated quite handsomely, too.
社区里的人都来了
Buncha people from the neighborhood.
大家都来支持你的男人
Everybody showed for your boy!
来一张
Oh, here we go.