糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S04E11
Part 4
Jan. 3, 2021, 1:01 p.m.
私信
屏蔽
备注
暗♥杀♥
暗♥杀♥
好了
There.
不 我在掉粉
Oh no, I'm losing followers.
看来法国人不太乐意我这样做
The French don't seem too happy with me.
大概人们总是不太乐意
I suppose people do get a little bit touchy
你暗♥杀♥他们的同盟 对吧
when you assassinate their allies, don't they?
最好先别管"乱博"上的事了
Better ease off the Twaddler for a bit.
国王还要做些什么
What else do kings do?
我知道了 我可以任命一个新的大主教
I know, I'll appoint a new Archbishop.
让我们来看看
Let's have a look here.
招坎特伯雷新大主教. 须自备法冠!
好了 这就是我的办事风格 从不用脑子
There you go, that's how I rule, with strong knee-jerk decisions.
好了
All right!
您有新邮件
教皇的来信
Message from the Pope.
教皇诺森三世 你在干什么????
不 这么多大写 他可不太开心啊
Oh no, that is a lot of capital letters, he is not a happy man.
你怎么敢不问我的意见就任命新主教! 你这是在把国家当驴一样骑!
你的哥哥永远不会做这种事! 简直不敢相信你们是同一个妈生出来的!
你什么都不知道 ! 你简直糟糕透顶!
不然就是他不知道发邮件的基本礼节
Either that, or he doesn't understand e-mail etiquette.
乔思林·威尔斯主教 来电
乔思林主教 最近如何 夫人
Bishop Jocelin. How you doing, My Lady?
你还是一如既往地迷人啊
You look ravishing as ever.
国王陛下 再次提醒 我是个男人
Your Royal Highness, I keep telling you, I'm a man!
抱歉 名字的原因 总让我搞混
Oh, sorry, it's the name. I keep getting confused.
你想要什么 甜心 我是说伙计
So, uh, what was it you wanted, darling? I mean, mate.
威尔士正在策划谋反
The Welsh are rebelling against you
他们取得了教皇的支持
and they have the support of the Pope.
您知道这是为什么吗
Any idea why that might be?
不 抱歉 我得走了
Uh, no, sorry. Gotta go!
总是很忙啊
Busy man. Agh!
先是爱尔兰 然后是法国
First the Irish, then the French,
现在又是教皇和威尔士
now the Pope and the Welsh.
看看他们在"乱博"上都说什么了
Let's see what they're saying on Twaddler.
#废物约翰国王
#史上最烂国王
#约翰王令人失望
真过分 够了
Oh, that's just mean! That's it,
这么爱抱怨 就来点真格的
I'm going to give them something to complain about.
我要提高赋税
I am raising their taxes.
还可以为军队征到一点资金
Could do with a bit of cash for the army,
您想要将税收涨到
很有压力
榨干♥他♥们
来镇♥压♥这些叛乱什么的
for all these rebellions and everything.
卖♥♥儿卖♥♥女
逼上绝路
执行
是男爵们
Oh, it's The Barons.
男爵 来电
绅士们 觉得目前为止我这个国王如何
Gentlemen, what do you think of my premiership so far then, eh?
垃圾
Rubbish.
别这样 绅士们 这统治不无聊吧
Come on, gents, it's not been boring,
至少可以这么评价吧
at least give me that.
我们起草了一份文书
We've drawn up a document,
大宪♥章♥
the Magna Carta,
我们强烈建议您签字
we strongly advise you to sign it.
但是
But...
乔思林正把它邮件给您
Jocelin's e-mailing it to you now.
她也参加了
Her too?
是"他也参加了"
Him too!
我很抱歉 但我们别无选择
I'm sorry but you've left us with no choice.
好了 已发送
There, sent.
您有新邮件
好吧 只要你们开心
Whatever, if it keeps you happy.
菲尔男爵 大宪♥章♥
读完后签字...不然就去死吧!
条款和条件
Terms and conditions,
没人会读这个的吧
no-one reads those, do they?
先生们 这到底是什么
Guys, what is this thing any way?
已接受大宪♥章♥
它限制了您作为国王的权力
It limits your powers as King,
现在管事的是我们了
means we run the show now.
取消 取消
Cancel, cancel!
真是万分抱歉
And I'm awfully sorry
我们已对法国路易王子
but we've sent Prince Louis of France
发出邀请 请他入侵
a Macebook invite, to invade!
侵略
An invasion?
在这种情况下真正伟大的国王会做什么呢
Now what would a truly great king do in this situation?
BBC 天气频道
东英吉利看上去不错啊
East Anglia looks nice this time of year.
我要赶紧去那里了
I'm going to make a run for it.
约翰国王的确去了东英吉利
King John did go to East Anglia,
在那里的沃什湾 他丢掉了皇冠御宝
where he famously lost the Crown Jewels in The Wash.
[沃什湾与清洗同音]
不 不 不是跟袜子一起丢的
Mm? No, no, no, not along with one of his socks!
沃什湾是东英吉利的一个大海湾
The Wash is a large bay on the coast of East Anglia. Yeah.
皇冠御宝被装在一辆马车里
The Crown Jewels were being carried on a horse drawn wagon,
马车的速度可比不上汹涌的海潮
which was too slow for the incoming tide, yeah.
约翰真算是傻子之王
John certainly was the King of Idiots.
真假辨析
True or False
约翰国王在食用过多桃子
King John died after eating too many peaches
并饮用过多苹果酒之后暴毙
and drinking too much cider.
是真的 他死于由暴食引发的痢疾
It's ture! He died of dysentery as a result of over-eating.
不受欢迎的国王的死法也不甚愉快
An unpopular king had an unpleasant death!
可怕古埃及
历史牙医
我这颗牙齿松动了 需要拔掉
I've got this loose tooth that needs to come out,
但每次看牙医时我都会紧张过头
but I've always been so nervous when it comes to dentists.
别担心 莫瑞先生非常受人敬重
Well, Mister Mori is exceptionally well respected.
他还为国王看过病
He's even been consulted by a king.
国王 那可真厉害 是哪个国王
Oh, a king, that's impressive. Which king?
尼罗河上游还是下游的 反正是个法老
Oh, um, upper or lower Nile, one of the pharaohs.
-你是说 -古埃及的法老
- What, you mean as in? - Ancient Egypt.
当时的牙医地位极高
I mean, dentists were extremely high status back then.
胶先生 要知道你非常走运
Ah, Mister Gum, I hope you know how lucky you are.
在我们那儿 大多数人都没机会看牙医
Where I come from, most people don't have access to dentistry,
他们只能等待坏牙自己掉下来
they just have to wait for the rotten teeth to fall out for themselves.
能帮我拿点鸦♥片♥吗 曼迪
Can I have some opium please, Mandy.
别担心 鸦♥片♥镇痛效果很好
Don't worry. I find it really takes the edge off an even severe pain.
恐怕有点问题
I'm afraid I had a bit of a problem with that.
他们的确用鸦♥片♥来做止痛剂
我试过预定鸦♥片♥的
I did try to order some,
但警♥察♥局说
but the police said
要是我真买♥♥了 就把我扔进监狱
they'd throw me into prison if I did,
现在使用鸦♥片♥是严重违反法律的
it's very, very illegal nowadays.
那就拿只死老鼠来好了 曼迪
Just a dead mouse, then, please, Mandy.
死什么
Dead what?
别担心 胶先生 今天刚抓到的
Don't worry, Mister Gum, freshly caught today.
不 它已经跑了
Oh, he's gone.
它在这里
There he is!
我一定会逮到你的
I'm going to get ya!
你不会真要把那玩意放到我嘴里吧
You're not seriously putting that in my mouth, are you?
要的
Yes.
在坏牙上放一只死老鼠
Applying a dead mouse to the affected tooth
就是古埃及的止痛法
is the ancient Egyptian painkiller.
-这肯定跟虫子有关 -什么虫子
- It must be something to do with the worms. - What worms?
真事
嘴里的虫子
Uh, mouth worms.
我们埃及人相信
We Egyptians believe that
正是嘴里的虫子造成了龋齿
it's mouth worms that cause dental decay.
他们真♥相♥信这个
管他呢 张大嘴
Anyway, say rah!
我的天呐 你每天都刷牙了吗
Oh dear, dear, dear, have you been brushing regularly?
绝对刷了
Absolutely.
用鸡蛋壳和磨碎的公牛蹄刷的吗
Using a mix of eggshell and crushed ox's hooves?
正宗古埃及牙膏
绝对没有
Absolutely not.
老实说
Oh, honestly.
真不明白我们为什么要费这个劲 曼迪
I don't know why we bother some days, Mandy.
我知道 真让人吃惊
I know, shocking, isn't it?
我是绝不会把死老鼠放到嘴里的
There's no way I'm going to put a dead mouse in my mouth!
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
剧集 | 糟糕历史（2009） | 导航列表