糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S04E04
Part 5
Jan. 3, 2021, 1 p.m.
好吧 尼克 看看两队表现如何
Right, OK. Nick, let's find out how the teams did, then.
尼安德特人队捕杀了一只猎物
Well, Team Neanderthal did manage one kill.
-小鼹鼠 小鼹鼠 -小鼹鼠
- Shrew. Hee-hee! Shrew! - Shrew.
你们在搞笑吗
Are you taking the mick?
你是说 你们去了三人
You telling me that three of you went out there,
只回来了两个人
only two of you came back alive
而且只捕到一只小鼹鼠吗
and all you brought back with ya was that shrew?
这么说来 好像是挺水的
Yeah, put like that, it's not very good, is it?
水到家了 智人队干得如何
No, it's not. How did the Homo Sapiens do?
他们猎到了两头野猪三头鹿
Well, they killed two wild pigs, three deer
还有一只长牙獾
and a sort of badger thing with big teeth.
但没抓到小鼹鼠哦 小鼹鼠
But no shrew. Shrew!
拉倒吧 我受够了
Just... All right, I've had it up to here
这讨厌的鼹鼠
with the flaming shrew, right?
胜利一方显而易见
Clearly we've got a winner here.
尼安德特人队 四肢发达不等于全部
Team Neanderthals, it's not all about brawn,
有时头脑也不能太简单
sometimes it's about your bonce.
你们的大脑小得跟豌豆似的
And your brains are clearly the size of a pea.
不过 说实话 唐勋爵
Well, in point of fact, Lord Sugar,
尼安德特人的大脑比智人的要大
the Neanderthal brain is larger than the Homo Sapien brain.
确实如此
-开玩笑 -没有
- You're joking? - No.
那你们为什么不善加利用
Well, why don't you use it?
再不小心点 你们尼安德特人的香火就断了
And if you're not careful, your entire race is going to die out.
就冲你们这种表现 尼安德特人队...
For that reason, Team Neanderthal...
你们出局了
you're fired!
-全部人 -没错
- What, all of us? - Yeah.
只开咕噜不行吗 反正他都挂了
Why don't you just fire Grunt? Him dead anyway.
对我来说他一个死人都比你俩有价值
He's still more flaming use to me than youse two are.
滚出我的视线 咱们继续 智人队
Get out of my sight, go on. Team Homo Sapien,
接下来犒劳你们一下
I've got a treat lined up for you.
开过F1赛车吗
Have you ever been behind the wheel of a Formula One racing car?
赞
Yeah!
-抱歉 F啥 -无所谓 一起去
- Sorry, what is wheel? - Never mind. We'll go, yeah?
-我很乐意 -凯伦你会开车吗
- Oh, I'd love to. - Yeah. Karen, do you drive?
-会 -你去吗
- I do. - You in?
-去 -那我也去
- I am. - I'm in, then.
尼安德特人族真的最终灭亡了
The entire Neanderthal race did end up dying out,
哪怕你会觉得体育老师
even if you think your PE teacher
活生生地证明了尼安德特人还没死光
is living proof that they didn't.
就因为尼安德特人块头大 脑袋也大
Because of their larger bodies and brains,
所以他们的饭量比智人♥大♥
Neanderthals had to eat more food than you Homo Sapiens,
但他们的捕猎技术实在太糟糕了
but they had inferior hunting techniques.
所以一旦发生食物短缺
If food became scarce,
智人更易适应环境 存活下来
the Homo Sapiens were better adapted to survival.
鼠君无所不知
The rat knows all.
邪恶的维多利亚时代
你知道吗 冰激凌是我们维多利亚人发明的
Did you know it was us Victorians who invented ice cream?
有时候不用讨价就能还价
But you could sometimes get more than you bargained for.
日安
Good day!
冰激凌 冰激凌
Ice cream! Ice cream!
来只美味的冰激凌吧 买♥♥点啥 孩子
Get your lovely ice cream here. Yes, child?
您这里都有些什么口味的呢
What flavours do you have?
问得好
What a fine question.
小姐 我们有猫绒味
Well, young lady, we've got cat hair,
虫蚤味 原味香土
bed bug and flea, plain dust,
香土虱子味 香土农家乐 劲爆香土
dust with lice, dust with straw, dust surprise,
就是香土里加点猫绒
which is dust with a little bit of cat hair in there too.
我们还有棉絮飘香 虫絮飘香
Then we've got your cotton fibre, bed bug and cotton fibre,
蚤絮飘香系列
and flea and cotton fibre ripple.
至尊精品 尽在维多利亚牌冰激凌
All sorts of stuff falls into your Victorian ice cream.
确实如此
我都不知道选哪种好了 先生
I'm not sure which to choose, sir.
我明白 其实你不用为难
Yeah, well, luckily you don't have to.
我们已经把所有口味混在一起了
We just mix it all together.
拿着吧 应有尽有全在这了
There you go, it's all in there.
上面要再来点椰蓉屑吗
would you like a couple of flakes with that?
-要的 先生 -就知道你要
- Yes, sir. - Yeah, course you would.
愚蠢透顶
又做了一单生意
Another happy customer.
冰激凌 冰激凌
Ice cream! Ice cream!
来只美味冰激凌吧
Get your lovely ice cream here.
在贫穷的维多利亚时期的英国
In poor Victorian Britain,
商贩用什么冒充巧克力来骗孩子
what did one merchant sell to children as chocolate?
A 一小块木头
Was it A: Bits of wood?
B 涂成褐色的蜡烛
B: Wax painted brown?
C 撒上可可粉的发霉土豆
Or C: Mouldy potato covered in cocoa?
正确答案是...
The answer is...
B 涂成褐色的蜡烛 那东西可不能吃
B, wax painted brown, which can't be very good for you.
是的 不少维多利亚食物相当致命
Yes, the diet of some Victorians could be pretty dangerous.
博恩斯探长
历史重案组
我是历史重案组的博恩斯探长
DI Bones, Historical Crime Squad.
不必担心 夫人 专家来了
Don't worry, madam, the professionals are here.
好吧 尸体在哪...
Now, where's the dead...?
找到了 在这呢 尸体♥位♥置确认
Found it, it's here. Located the dead body.
被害人体表无明显外创性伤痕
Victim shows no visible signs of injury.
你 告诉我这里发生了什么
You, what happened here?
阿尔伯特叔叔正在喝茶
Well, Uncle Albert was just having his tea
喝着喝着倒头就过去了 是吧
and he dropped down dead, didn't he?
-是的 -没错
-Yeah. - Yeah.
可能被下毒了
Might have been poisoned.
-下毒 -肯定是 让我检查下
- Poisoned? - Indeed. Let's take a look.
面包上有类似粉笔灰的物质
Bread shows signs of a white chalky substance.
那就是粉笔灰
That'll be the chalk.
面包师用粉笔涂面包 好显得更新鲜
The bakers make the bread look whiter using chalk.
有些面包师就是这么干的
这又是什么 天哪 竟然是脚趾甲
What's this? Oh, it's a toenail!
那也是面包师的 他通常用脚和面
That'll be the baker's. He kneads the bread with his feet.
这也属实
我说怎么闻着这么恶心呢
That'll explain the cheesy smell.
但是 再恶心也毒不死人
Still, might not be enough to kill him.
他当时在喝什么
What was he drinking?
就是那杯咖啡
Well, that coffee.
闻着一股怪味
Now, that to me smells nutty.
那是因为加了橡树果
Oh, that'll be the acorns.
我们只买♥♥得起廉价咖啡
We can only afford cheap coffee
他们有时会往里面加锯屑
and they tend to put sawdust in it.
还有橡树果
And acorns.
他当时还喝什么了
Was he drinking anything else?
确实如此
就是点羊脑
Just sheep brain.
和砒霜
And arsenic.
再说一遍
Come again?
奸商有时往牛奶里掺羊脑
Dodgy tradesmen sometimes put sheep brains in the milk.
你看
Look.
为了省钱 他们还往糖里混砒霜
And to save money, they pad out the sugar with arsenic.
1900年 利物浦约有一千人死于混了砒霜的糖
这玩意儿有毒啊
That's poisonous!
我不担心 吃这糖也不是一天两天了
Oh, I wouldn't worry. I've been eating the sugar for years.
她也中毒了 去拿点水来 快点
She's been poisoned! Go and fetch some water, man! Quickly!
只要水 什么都别加
Just water! Nothing added!
给你 你要的水
Here you go! Here's your water!
你确定里面什么都没加吗
Sure nothing's been added to that?
绝对没有 我直接从井里打上来的
Absolutely, I got it straight from the pump.
闻着怪怪的
Smells funny.
很可能是霍乱病菌
Ah, yeah, that'll probably be the cholera.
喝水可能导致感染霍乱
备注 找份文职
Note to self. Get a desk job.
夸张故事 残暴行为*
*Tall tales, atrocious acts
我们有最吓人的真♥相♥*
*We gave you all the facts...
如果你喜欢本期节目 为何不来一起玩呢
If you enjoyed that, why not come and play?
登录CBBC官网
Go to the CBBC website,
点击"糟糕历史" 回见
and click on Horrible Histories. See you there!
历史不再是个谜*
*The past is no longer a mystery
但愿你喜欢糟糕历史*
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
剧集 | 糟糕历史（2009） | 导航列表