糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S04E02

Part 3 Jan. 3, 2021, 12:59 p.m.

with the Human Report. Bob.
谢谢萨姆不太对劲
Thank you, Sam, I think.
相当久远的七百万年前
Well, it's a whopping seven million years ago,
七百万年前
我们身处非洲迎面走来你的亲戚
here we are in Africa and here comes your family.
好吧它们是黑猩猩
Well, OK, they're chimpanzees
这特殊的一群看起来跟其余的不太一样
but these particular ones look a little different to all the others.
面部有些不同
There's something about the face,
或者可能是牙齿
or maybe it's the teeth
也可能是写着"进化中"的T恤
or perhaps the "I'm Evolving" T-shirt.
进化中
不管是什么
Whatever it is,
当时都出现了一点微妙的变化
there's a subtle difference that might just be
那可能就是它们进化成你我的开端
the first tiny steps towards becoming you and me.
进化成你我可帅多了
Well, you, anyway. I'm much better looking.
如果我们快进一百万年
And if we zip forward a million years,
六百万年前
我们会发现一系列细微变化累积起来
we find a series of these tiny changes
已经让黑猩猩看起来与之前完全不同
have combined to make a chimp that's no longer a chimp at all.
图根原人
是的这是图根原人
Yes, it's a Orrorin Tugenensis.
一个全新的品种可以依靠自己的双脚
A whole new species that boldly stands on its own two feet
站立起来
by standing on its own two feet.
练习了几百万年后
And give it another million years to practice
五百万年前
它们甚至可以四处走动
they're even walking around,
教会他们的迷你大脑控制双脚一前一后
teaching their tiny brains to put one foot in front of the other,
这样走
like this. Oh!
比看起来要困难啊
More difficult than it looks, isn't it?
但三百万年前
But by three million years ago,
三百万年前
它们把走路模式归类了怎么知道的呢
they've got this walking business sorted and how do we know this?
因为我们找到了南部猿人的骨骼
Because we found the skeleton of the Southern Ape,
南部猿人
昵称为露西
nicknamed Lucy,
和我的第一个女友一样
just like my first girlfriend.
露西
她身高1米2 短胳膊
And she's 1.2 metres tall with short legs,
钩下巴还有橘子大小的大脑
a hook jaw, and a brain the size of an orange,
和我的第一个女友一样
just like my first girlfriend.
但更重要的是
But more importantly,
露西的骨架证明她大部分时间
Lucy's skeleton proves that she walked on two legs
使用双腿走路如我们今天一样
most of the time, just as we do today.
当然是指猿人骨架露西了
That's Lucy the Ape Skeleton, of course,
不是我的第一个女友露西
not Lucy my first girlfriend
她活得很好还拥有成功的广播事业
who is alive and well and has a successful radio career.
此时猿人已经直立但大体上还是猿人
So the apes are now upright but they're still basically apes.
但过不了多久
But not for long!
是的小小的250万年前
Yes, a trifling two and a half million years ago
250万年前
能人出现了
up popped Homo Habilis.
能人
这是"能干的人"的拉丁语
Latin for handyman.
希德·能人 "能干的人"
还比帮我装♥修♥厕所的人便宜得多
and a lot cheaper than the guy who put in my bathroom.
是的他开始使用工具等
Yes, he starts using tools and as such,
他是真正的早期人类
he's the first true human.
我要用这个早期的聚会纸带喷来庆祝下
A fact I will now celebrate using this early party popper.
需要改进
Needs work.
能人开始摄取蛋白质更丰富的饮食
Anyway our little handy man switches to a protein rich diet
这帮助他大脑生长设计出更好的工具
which helped him to grow a bigger brain and design better tools
好让他抓到更好的食物
so he can catch better food,
接着大脑继续生长设计出更好的工具
leading to bigger brains and better tools,
更好的食物更大的大脑
and better food, and bigger brains
更好的工具更好的食物
and better tools and better food...
抱歉卡壳了
Sorry, yeah, got a bit stuck.
随着非洲森林退化为沙漠
Anyway, as the African forests recede into desert,
人类不得不进化
mankind has to evolve
好赶上变化因此大约190万年前
just to keep up, so about 1.9 million years ago,
190万年前
匠人出现了且由于沙漠里很热
Homo Ergaster appears. And since the desert is so hot,
匠人
他脱毛了
he loses all his fur.
我们打了马塞克保住他的面子
Though we've blurred that out to save his embarrassment.
与此同时在亚洲
Meanwhile, over in Asia,
匠人的远亲直立人出现了
Homo Ergaster's cousin has appeared, Homo Erectus,
直立人
他发现了火
and he has discovered fire,
意味着他能烤肉了
which means he can now cook meat
这有助于他吃得更好
which helps him to eat better
长更大的大脑做更好的工具
and grow bigger brains and make better tools
猎杀更好的食物
and kill better food
还有不不不别戳我
and... No, no, no! Not the stick.
之后直立人最终
Anyway, Homo Erectus is gradually replaced
海德堡人
被海德堡人取代
by Homo Heidelbergensis
他们身高超过2米步长极大
who at over 2 metres tall has a very long stride
这帮助他一直溜达进了
which helps him to stroll all the way
石器时代的欧洲
across into Stone Age Europe.
他是右撇子跟我一样
He is right handed, like me,
他发明了原始语言
has developed a primitive language
就像我刚才做的一样
like what done do,
还喜欢用矛戳动物
and likes to stab animals with spears
这是我们之间的区别
which is where we differ.
最终海德堡人进化为这个
Nut, gradually, Heidelbergensis evolved into a chap
你可能听说过的家伙
you've probably heard of,
尼安德特人矮胖又不擅长奔跑
Neanderthal man, who's short, squat and awful at running.
尼安德特人
有点像我第二个女友我可不想记起她
A bit like my second girlfriend who I'd rather forget.
尼安德特人♥大♥脑很大
And Neanderthals have pretty big brains
但从他们的捕猎技巧中完全看不出来
but you'd never know it from their hunting technique,
他们跳到巨型动物身上
which is to jump on huge animals
努力把它们摔死
and try and wrestle them to death.
真是个壮观的观赏运动
A great spectator sport.
说曹操曹操到来了些观众
And what do you know, here comes some spectators.
是我们的非洲朋友他们进化成了
Yes, it's our friend from Africa who has now evolved into...
智人
智人和你我一样
Homo Sapiens, just like you and me.
是的为了寻找食物
Yes, the search for food has led us
我们走出非洲来到欧洲
up out of Africa and into Europe.
此时尼安德特人和智人
So now we have both Neanderthals and Homo Sapiens
同时生活在一片土地上
in the same place at the same time,
争夺同样的食物
fighting for the same food.
但持续不了多久
But not for long!
智人有更好的捕猎技巧
With better hunting techniques
并且身材娇小所需食物更少
and needing less food to fuel their smaller bodies,
所以略胜一筹在24000年前
Homo Sapiens have the edge and a mere 24,000 years ago,
24000年前
尼安德特人灭绝了只剩我们智人
Neanderthals die out, leaving us, Homo Sapiens, behind.
我说完了
So there we have it.
进化简史
Evolution in a nutshell.
怎么能说就此结束了呢
And what's to say it's stopped there?
或许未来我们拇指为了发短♥信♥更快会进化
Perhaps in the future our thumbs will evolve to text quicker
耳朵为了听到更大声的音乐而进化
or our ears to listen to louder music,
或许萨姆最终会进化成
or maybe Sam will finally develop a way
能够边查收邮件边做指甲
to check our emails and do her nails at the same time.
你说呢萨姆
What do you reckon, Sam?
无可奉告
No comment.
尽管几百万年前猴子就进化成了人类
Although men evolved from monkeys millions of years ago,
可直到维多利亚时期
it wasn't until the Victorian era
进化论才首次
that the theory of evolution
被一个叫查尔斯·达尔文的人提出
was first put forward by a man called Charles Darwin.
进化论
[恶搞David Bowie的Change]
人们以为所有的动物之间没有联♥系♥*
*People thought all animals arrived here unrelated
天地初开人类降临完美设计*
*The world began and then came man. All perfectly created
可有人看到了树上*
*But then someone looked up a tree
说那猴子长得跟我一样*
*And said that monkey looks just like me
所以在自然历史的课堂*
*So it really was a mystery
那知识还真是让人迷惘*
*What I'd learned in natural history
我加入皇家舰艇贝格尔*