糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S04E11
Part 2
Jan. 3, 2021, 1:01 p.m.
但因为歉收 很快耗尽
but they'd run out, due to a bad harvest.
于是只能靠供给船 可船沉了 惨啊
So we had to rely on supply ships, they sank, catastrophe!
最后我们只好有什么吃什么
So we had to make do with what we could get,
不管它是不是被牲口吃下去再拉出来的
even if it's already been all the way through an animal.
都是真事
这里有颗麦粒在动
I think I just saw one grain moving there.
不 那是个虱子
No, that's a nit.
谁捡到就归谁
Finders keepers.
由于前菜里包含了大便和虱子
With his starter containing poo and nits,
评委开始担心罗兰食物的营养价值
the judges are worried about the nutritional value of Roland's diet.
罗兰 你的食物对你无益 朋友
Roland, your diet can't be good for you, mate.
你说得很对
You're not kidding.
痢疾对十字军来说是个大问题
Dysentery's a real problem on crusades.
事实
躲开
Oh, out the way!
这个锅漏了
This one's got holes in it.
好吧 各位 你们还有5分钟
OK, everyone, you have five minutes.
最好还是改成10分钟吧
Better make that ten minutes.
你貌似喜欢往菜里多放香料
I see you like your spices, then.
是的 我们在中东发现了各种各样
Oh yes, in the Middle East we found all sorts of
以前从来没听说过的异域调料
exotic spices we'd never heard of before.
事实
想尝些这个吗
Want to try some of this?
这是胡椒
It's called pepper.
不用了 朋友
You're all right, mate.
可以祛除肉的异味
It helps takes away the taste of the meat, as well.
好的 各位 时间到
OK, everybody, time's up.
历史版厨艺大♥师♥
在我试吃之前
Now, before I eat this
请告诉我这不是马肉
please tell me it's not horse meat.
不 不 不是马肉
No. No, it's not horse meat.
不过我们有时确实得吃掉自己的马
Although we do sometimes have to eat our own horse.
事实
是人肉
It's human.
是切成薄片的敌军后臀肉
It's sliced enemy backside.
火锅
Mm, hot pot.
他们确实吃过敌人
我们从哪儿找的这些人 约翰
Where do we find 'em, John?
动物粪便中的小麦谷物
Grains of wheat in animal poo,
人的后臀肉切片
slices of human backside.
平底锅在哪儿
Ooh, where's the pan?
我快撑不住了 伙计们
I don't think I'm going to make it, boys.
一般我会说 我死都不会让你们晋级
Normally, i'd say you're through over my dead body
但是 鉴于你可能会
but, since you might
把我尸体的臀部切片吃掉
slice the bottom off my dead body and eat it,
我们要说 你成功晋级了
we are saying you're through to the next round.
确切地说 罗兰晋级了
Or rather Roland is.
恭喜
Congratulations.
以上百分之百鼠实
That's 100% accur-rat.
如果十字军遇到困境
If things went wrong on Crusade,
敌人的后臀肉就会出现在菜单上
enemy backside was on the menu. Ha!
我觉得这就是所谓的
I think that's what you call
不公平交易[字面意思:屁♥股♥交易]
a bum deal!
但成功回到家乡的十字军
But Crusaders who managed to make it home
确实带回了一些美好的礼物
did bring back some wonderful gifts.
他们回来了 他们从东征之旅回来了
They're back! They're back from the Crusades.
太好了 爸爸会给我带礼物吗
Wicked! Will Dad have got me presents?
邓肯 你♥爸♥爸千里迢迢
Duncan, your father did not go all that way
不是只为了给你带礼物的
just to bring you presents.
他去那里是为了重获圣地
He went there to reclaim the Holy Land,
还有给我带礼物
and bring me back presents.
我终于到家了
Argh, I'm home. At last.
我的礼物在哪儿
Where are my presents?
你看不到他受了多少罪吗
Can't you see what a hard time he's had?
他的身上沾满了萨拉森人的血
He's covered in Saracen blood.
这个吗 不 这是水果汁
What this? Oh no, it's fruit juice.
水果汁
Fruit juice?
那边太热了 当地人都跑到山坡上
It's so hot over there that the locals run up the mountainside,
抓一大把雪 跟果汁混合在一起
grab a handful of snow and mix it with some fruit juices
黎巴嫩的山地居民确实这么做
做成类似雪泥的东西
to create a sort of slushy thing.
真牛
Wicked!
看 我给你们带回来一些
Look, I've brought you back a couple. Ah.
"草莓惊震"给你 "柑橘风暴"给你
Strawberry Shocker for you, and a Citrus Frenzy for you.
我觉得这玩意能流行起来
I think they're really going to catch on.
只要我们研究出怎么把它们冰镇起来
Once we work out how to keep them cold.
这就是你的礼物吗
Is that it?
卡伦的老公上次给她带了条金项链
Karen's husband brought her a gold necklace last time.
我这儿有更好的
I can do much better than that.
我带回了咱家的第一个调料架
We got our very first spice rack.
这些东方调料肯定会大为改善
These Eastern spices are really going to transform
他们确实也带回了调味品
我们乏味的中世纪菜肴
our dull medieval cuisine.
也就是说 你现在不喜欢我做的菜了
So you don't like my cooking now?
不 我累了一整天
No. It's been a long day.
只想好好洗个舒服的热水澡
I just want to have a nice, long hot bath.
-洗澡 -我们在那边都洗澡
- A bath? - We were all doing that over there.
你该找时间试试
You should try it one day.
还嫌我臭了 是吧
So I smell now, as well?
一点点 不 我不是这个意思
A little bit. No, I'm not saying that.
你最好准备了什么好礼物
You'd better have something good in there.
是的 我有 看 香水
Well, I do, look. Perfume.
来 闻一闻
Here, get a whiff of that.
他们也带回了香水
玫瑰
Oh, roses!
我从巴勒斯坦一路走回来
I walked all the way from Palestine.
这又不是金子
It's not gold, is it?
你在抱怨什么
What are you complaining for?
我东征归来买♥♥了一大堆好东西
I bought loads of good stuff back from the Crusades.
调料 香水 糖 丝绸
Spices, perfume, sugar, silk,
柠檬 橘子 杏
lemons, oranges, apricots,
甜瓜 大黄
melons, rhubarb.
枣 咖啡 大米 镜子
Dates, coffee, rice, mirrors,
地毯 棉花 纸
carpets, cotton, paper,
独轮手推车 床垫 披肩和国际象棋
wheelbarrows, mattresses, shawls and chess sets.
将军
Check mate.
除了调料 香水 糖 丝绸
Apart from spices, perfume, sugar, silk,
柠檬 橘子 杏 甜瓜
lemons, oranges, apricots, melon,
十字军确实带回了这些东西
大黄 枣 咖啡
rhubarb, dates, coffee,
大米 镜子 地毯
rice, mirrors, carpets,
棉花 纸 独轮手推车
cotton, paper, wheelbarrows,
床垫 披肩和国际象棋
mattresses, shawls and chess sets,
我究竟从十字军东征得到了什么
what exactly have I ever got out of the Crusades?
这些水果雪泥
These fruit slushy things.
你没有别的东征要去了吗
Haven't you got another Crusade to go on?
恐怖的都铎王朝
都铎罪犯俚语新闻
大家好 欢迎收看《都铎罪犯俚语新闻》
Hello, and welcome to the news, in Tudor Criminal Slang.
一个海格特汉子在高级鸟嘴的抽屉之后
A Highgate cove is today facing three trees with a ladder,
今天面临三棵树的梯子
following the drawer of a high ranking beak.
一个海格特人
A Highgate man
在偷了高级行政官的钱包后 面临绞刑
faces the gallows, after picking the pocket of a senior magistrate.
无情的骗子等待鸟嘴在他最爱的
The callous foist waited for the beak to couch a hog's head
豪饮区睡成猪头 才偷他的木塞
in his favoured boozing ken before prigging his bung.
扒手等待行政官在当地酒吧睡着后
The pickpocket waited for the magistrate to fall asleep
才偷了他的钱包
in his local pub, before stealing his purse.
下一条新闻
In other news,
一个达利奇狐媚子成为蹦蹦跳的小偷
a Dulwich doxy became a prancer prigger.
来自达利奇的一个女流浪者成了偷马贼
A female tramp from Dulwich became a horse thief,
我觉得
I think.
行走的死亡信♥号♥♥利用小马
The walking mort used the nag
从啄痕手推车里提起啄痕
to lift peck from a peck barrow.
那个 我觉得那是个流浪汉
The, uh, I think that's a tramp,
利用马去从什么玩意儿里偷了些东西
used the horse to steal some stuff from something.
这个长钉声称她会把啄痕
This spike claimed she would use the peck
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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