糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S04E06
Part 2
Jan. 3, 2021, 1 p.m.
-什么 -国王要来了
- What? - The king is coming.
我就是国王 你这个笨蛋
I am the king, you fool!
老天呀
Oh, my goodness!
与国王亨利二世的对话直播
国王陛下
Your Majesty,
您是想让高贵的王室家族
is this an initiative to make the royal family
看起来更亲民一些吗
seem more down to earth?
如果是这样 我觉得您可能做过头了
If so, I think you might have taken it a bit too far.
我确实是从伦敦跋涉过来
I did come all the way from London.
你从伦敦一路走了过来
You walked from London?
不是全程 大半的路程都有人载我
Yeah, but not all the way. I got a lift most of the way.
但最后几里我确实是走来的 没有穿鞋
But I did walk the last couple of miles in barefoot.
为什么不♥穿♥鞋子呢
Why barefoot?
真事
我要赎罪 我做了一件可怕的事情
As penance, for I have done a terrible thing.
[英国城市 中世纪时亨利二世在此狩猎]
如果算上我吉灵厄姆路边的所做所为
Well, If you include what I did on the roadside near Gillingham,
应该是两件可怕的事情
two terrible things.
还有什么可怕的事情
What was the other terrible thing?
我让我的好朋友托马斯·贝克特
Well I appointed my good pal Thomas Becket
担任坎特伯雷大主教去解决教会问题
as Archbishop of Canterbury to sort out my church problems.
这是真的
你懂的 打入敌人内部解决问题
You know, a man on the inside and all that
听上去是个聪明的计划
Sounds like a clever plan.
没有 他变得超级虔诚
Well, It wasn't. He started getting all religious.
结果成了皇家的一个大♥麻♥烦
Actually turned out to be a royal pain in the royal backside.
我对他相当生气
Anyway I quite got angry with him.
问题是我有一帮没大脑的骑士
Basically, the thing is I have these idiot knights, you see...
他们过来了
Oh, here they are.
对不起 老大 我们在环线上迷路了
Sorry there, boss. Got lost on the ring road.
这里并没有环线啊
There isn't a ring road.
就是因为这个我们迷路了
That's actually why we got lost.
想必他们就是没大脑的骑士吧
These must be the idiot knights.
不要介意
No offence.
没关系 我们习惯了
That's alright. We get it all the time.
确实如此
yes, indeed
话说回来 我被托马斯·贝克特气昏了
So, anyway, I got in a right mood with Thomas Becket
就说了几句气话 比如
and made some flippant remarks, like...
谁能帮我除掉这个麻烦的神父
"Who will rid me of this troublesome priest?"
你猜这帮天才做什么了
And guess what these geniuses did.
大声点
Speak up.
我们把他揍死了
Beat him to death.
我只是要他们给他点颜色看看
I only asked them to put the frighteners on him.
但是他们做了些什么
But what did they do?
他们把他揍死在坎特伯雷大教堂的圣坛上
They beat him to death on the altar of Canterbury Cathedral,
他们真的做了这件事
那可是全英格兰最神圣的地方
the holiest place in the whole of England.
我都道过歉了
I said I'm sorry.
我们现在要谈论这个吗
Are we going to do this now?
不 不要 闭嘴
No, we not. Shush.
为了弥补我无心的指示所造成的死亡
So, to atone for the murder I unwittingly ordered,
我在坎特伯雷为托马斯建造了一座圣坛
I had a shrine of Thomas built here in Canterbury
并且徒步朝圣
and I walked on a pilgrimage
向我被杀死的好友表示敬意
to pay respect to my murdered friend.
多么悲伤的故事
Wow, what a tragic story.
现在知道那帮没大脑的骑士是谁了吗
Did we find out who the idiot knights were?
我该继续上路了
Anyway, I've got to be on my way.
观众还想了解几个问题 国王陛下
Just a few more questions for our viewers, your majesty.
-我累了 -不到五分钟的时间
- I'm really tired. - It won't take five minutes.
-我说了不行 -我速战速决
- Please, I've said no. - I'll be quick.
谁来帮我除掉这个烦人的记者
Who will rid me of this troublesome reporter?
让我们来
We will!
伙计 我开玩笑的
Guys, I was joking!
又来一次
Done it again.
你们被解雇了
You're fired.
为了弥补自己的罪过
To atone for his sins,
亨利二世承受了猴子们的鞭笞
Henry II was whipped by monkeys.
[英文中 猴子与侍僧的发音相似]
应该是侍僧们的鞭笞 抱歉
That should be monks, sorry.
尽管国王被猴子鞭笞的画面有趣多了
Though a king being whipped my monkeys is a far funnier image.
事实上 在中世纪
Anyway, in the Middle Ages,
还有更简便的方法来弥补罪过
there were simpler ways to be pardoned for your sins.
你是不是闯祸了
Have you been naughty?
害怕去不了天堂了
Worried you might not go to heaven?
害怕在炼狱受苦上千年
That you might be stuck in purgatory for 1000's of years?
帮助伸手就来
Help is at hand.
如果想有快捷 简单的方式来赎罪
If you want a fast, easy way to get back in the good books,
马上拨♥打♥ 0800我闯祸了
我们团队有专业人士为您提供帮助
our team of professional pardoners are just waiting to help you.
一切尽在"花钱赎罪"
Here at Cash My Sin.
一次咨♥询♥过后
After just one consultation,
我们的工作人员将告诉你
Our staff will be able to tell you
咨♥询♥需要收费
你究竟闯了多大的祸
how naughty you've been
要付多少钱给教堂才能赎罪
and how much money you have to pay the church to buy your pardon.
我从老爷的树上偷了这个苹果
I stole this apple from my Lordship's apple tree.
多亏了"花钱赎罪"
Thanks to Cash My Sin
我只花了三便士就赎罪了
It cost me just three pennies to buy my forgiveness.
在中世纪 赎罪比你想的要简单
Getting pardoned in the Middle Ages is easier than you think.
我们价格公道 简单明了
Our prices are simple to understand and very reasonable.
价格也许不会公道 也不简单明了
我嫉妒死我邻居家的马了
I'm very jealous of my neighbour's horse.
比我家的好多了
It's much better than mine.
你犯了妒忌罪 给两个便士
That is the sin of envy. Two pence, please.
主原谅你了
You are forgiven.
看到我的新鞋子了吗
Have you seen my new shoes?
他们很棒 是吧
They're great, aren't they?
你犯了骄傲罪
That is the sin of pride.
再给两便士
Another two pence, please.
我没钱了
I don't have any more money.
-好吧 我撒谎了 -三便士
- All right, I lied. - Thruppence.
-什么 -再给两便士
- What?! - That's another two pence.
愤怒也是一种罪
Anger is a sin as well.
一个先令可让多个罪被同时赦免
Just one shilling covers a multitude of sins.
太好了
Great.
简单方便 超值划算
It's easy, it's great value
马上拨♥打♥ 0800花钱赎罪
还有 这将意味着永生永世你不必再
and what's more it means you won't
承受地狱之火的煎熬
burn in the fires of Hell for all eternity.
绝对物有所值
It's got to be worth it.
我想去天堂 机会很渺茫*
*My chances of Heaven were looking thin
如果想赎罪 花钱帮你忙*
*Till I gave lots of dosh to Cash My Sin.
抓紧时间 16世纪初活动就截止了
Hurry! Offer must end bu the early 1500's.
华丽的乔治王朝
在乔治王朝时期
In the Georgian era,
俄♥罗♥斯♥沙皇彼得三世统帅了一大支军队
Russian Tsar Peter III commanded a large army,
尽管你会发现
although you might find
他的某些队伍会让人十分吃惊
some of his troops to be rather surprising.
历史法庭 现在正式开庭
Court of Historical Law is in session.
原告 从俄♥罗♥斯♥远道而来
Prosecuting today, all the way from Russia,
沙皇彼得三世
it's Tsar Peter III.
事实上 我还不是沙皇
Actually, I'm not quite Tsar yet.
好吧 未来的沙皇 彼得三世
Ok, the future Tsar Peter III.
他要控诉的是一只老鼠
And the accused appears to be a rat.
你确定要通过法律程序
Are you seriously going to bring
来对付一只老鼠吗
legal proceedings against a rat?
当然不是
Of course not!
我会在军事法庭上举♥行♥军事听证会
It will be a military hearing with a view to court martial.
他真的对一只老鼠提出审判
-好吧 -那么 鼠先生
- OK. - So, Mr Rat,
就假设你真的是一只老鼠
assuming you are a rat
不是装扮成老鼠的其他东西
and that is not an elaborate disguise...
请问 什么会把自己装扮成一只老鼠
Sorry, Sorry, what would disguise itself as a rat?
带着欺骗性华丽外表的耗子
A mouse with delusions of grandeur.
-有道理 -鼠先生
- Good point. - Mr Rat,
我指控你于5月15日晚上
I put it to you that on the night of May 15th,
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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