糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S04E07
Part 5
Jan. 3, 2021, 1 p.m.
希尔达 你为我们准备了什么
So, Hilda, what have you got for us?
我做的是鸭子
I am serving duck.
看起来不怎么像鸭子
Doesn't look much like duck.
尝起来也不是很像鸭子
Doesn't taste much like duck.
因为这不是鸭子 而是假鸭肉
That is because it is not duck, it is mock duck.
战争已经进行几年了
So the war has been on for a few years now
柏林的粮食补给基本耗尽了
and the food supplies in Berlin have all but run out,
所以我们只能充分利用资源
so we have to make do with what we can get.
这只鸭实际上是用香肠肉
So this duck, it is actually made with sausage meat,
苹果 洋葱 和鼠尾草做的
apples, onions and sage.
他们真的是这么做的
不算糟糕 但这不是真正的鸭子
It's not bad, but it's not duck.
那真鸭一般是用什么做成的呢
What's duck normally made from?
希尔达的"假"前菜并不是很受欢迎
Hilda's fake starter hasn't gone down too well,
除了希尔达自己
except with Hilda.
但她乐观地认为她的主菜
But she's optimistic her main course
会打动评委们
will impress the judges.
那是什么呢 希尔达
What's that, Hilda?
这是奶油鹅肉 配土豆
Oh, this is goose in cream sauce, with potatoes.
假鹅吗
Mock goose?
是的 是用土豆 苹果和奶酪做成的
Ja. Made of potatoes with apples and cheese.
所以基本上 这就光是土豆
So basically, it's just potatoes.
是的 加了奶油
Ja, in a cream sauce.
假奶油吗
Mock cream?
是的 用人造黄油
Ja. Made from margarine,
奶粉和糖做成的
milk powder and sugar.
他们也真的是这么做的
这个很不错 多加点糖会更好
It's not half bad. Could do with more sugar.
什么多放点糖你都觉得更好 老兄
You think everything needs more sugar, mate.
因为确实是什么多放点糖都更好吃
That's cos everything does.
大家 还有五分钟
Five minutes, people.
五分钟 希尔达
Five minutes, Hilda!
在《历史版厨艺大♥师♥》中从未出现过这样的事
In an unprecedented move on Historical MasterChef,
希尔达正在吃她的主菜
Hilda is eating her main course
并重新开始做菜
and starting again from scratch.
好了 各位 装盘了
OK, guys, meals of food onto plates.
历史版厨艺大♥师♥
希尔达
So, Hilda,
给我们介绍一下你的这道菜
talk us through your plate of meal.
这是犀牛
So, this is rhino,
这是老虎 然后这是大猩猩
this is tiger and this is gorilla.
假犀牛 你是用什么做的
Mock rhino, what do you make that out of,
橡子和狗屎吗
acorns and dog's mess?
不 不 不
Nein, nein, nein.
这是真犀牛 用真犀牛做的
This is real rhino, from a real rhino.
很抱歉 这不能吃 太稀有了
I'm sorry, you can't eat that, that's too rare.
[rare 稀有 也有食物太生的意思]
你更喜欢吃全熟是吗
Uh, would you prefer it well done?
不是 我的意思是犀牛是珍稀动物
No, I mean rhino's too rare,
大猩猩和老虎也是
as are gorillas and tigers.
听着 亲爱的
Listen, Liebling,
肉在二战时期的柏林就很珍稀了
meat is rare in World War II Berlin,
只能有什么吃什么
you eat what you can get.
你从哪找来的这些动物
Where did you get these animals from?
动物园
Uh, the zoo.
柏林居民把动物园的动物杀了吃掉
The residents of Berlin have killed and eaten
现在已经所剩无几了
most of the zoo animals.
这是真实发生的事
你要是不吃的话
So, if you're not going to eat it,
你介意我吃了吗
do you mind?
历史版厨艺大♥师♥
希尔达 过去的几年里
Hilda, I've had some pretty unacceptable food
这个厨房♥里出过一些很难接受的食物
served up to me in this kitchen over the last few years,
但是犀牛 老虎和大猩猩是历史最烂
but rhino, tiger and gorilla steak are an all-time low.
然而 我们还是会让你晋级下一轮
However, we are putting you through to the next round
因为我想看你吃点正常食物
because I'd like to see you eat some proper food.
恭喜你
Congratulations.
谢谢
Thank you.
卑微的中世纪
在中世纪
In the Middle Ages,
征服者威廉废除了死刑
Willaim the Conqueror banned executions,
但他拿什么来代替这项刑罚呢
but what punishment did he replace it with?
A 没收人们的钱财
A. Taking away people's money
B 挖出他们的眼睛
B. Gouging their eyes out
C 让他们遭苔刑
C. Having them flogged
答案是B
The answer is B,
但没过多久 死刑禁令就废除了
but it wasn't long before the ban on executions was lifted.
在中世纪 死刑是公众事件
In the Middle Ages, executions were public events
有时会变得非常混乱
and sometimes could get pretty rowdy.
兰开斯特的托马斯
Oh, Thomas of Lancaster,
约克郡 庞蒂弗拉克特 1322年
你在冬天的大雪中被带到这地方来
you have been brought to this place in the snows of winter,
接受斩首的刑罚
to have your head struck from your body.
你准备好接受你的命运了吗
Are you ready to meet your fate?
我准备好了
I am.
当我离开这世界的时候
And as I leave this world,
让我的家人知道我是带着强大的...
let my family know that I faced my sentence with grea...
尊严和优雅面对死亡的
dignity and grace.
我是个骄傲的人
I am a proud man,
一个完成了他的责任的人
who has done his duty.
够了吧 是谁丢的
Right, who threw that?
我就要死在这里了 你们真觉得
I'm about to die here, do you really think
这是个适合打雪仗的好时候吗
this is an appropriate time for a snowball fight?
他死刑时有人打雪仗
我看他们的回答是"是的"
I take that as a yes.
直直地从我领子进去了
Agh, that's gone right down my neck.
我最讨厌那样了 一直凉到...
I hate it when that happens, shivers down your...agh!
你们不要扔了
Right, no, right, no, you stop that.
说真的 我以为死刑已经够有娱乐性了
Honestly, you'd think an execution would be entertainment enough.
我觉得他们正在堆雪人
I think they're making a snowman.
你想不想想趁他们忙着 快点砍了
So do you want to do this quickly, while they're busy?
最后终于有点自尊
Agh, some dignity at last.
我 兰开斯特的托马斯伯爵
This is how I, Earl Thomas of Lancaster,
就是这样被后世铭记的
shall be remembered.
待会你砍完后
Um, when you're done,
我们能借你的头当雪人的头吗
can we borrow your head for our snowman?
-谁 我的吗 -是的
- Who, me? - Yeah.
好吧 反正我也用不着了
Um, yeah, I won't be using it.
真好 谢了
Cheers, thanks.
在兰开斯特公爵托马斯死刑时
There really was a snowball fight at the execution
真的有一场雪仗
of Earl Thomas of Lancaster.
而且他的死不是中世纪唯一愚蠢的死亡
And his wasn't the only stupid death in the Middle Ages,
我敢向你保证
I can tell you.
掏粪工理查德
愚蠢的死法之
死得傻呀死得傻*
*Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
真人真事乐哈哈*
*They're funny cos they're true
死得傻呀死得傻*
*Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
下次不要到你家*
*Hope next time it's not you.
这才像样
Ah, that's more like it.
春日大扫除最棒了
Nothing like a good spring clean.
你说什么
What's that?
是的 现在闻起来好多了
Oh, yes, it does smell a lot better now, doesn't it?
盛开花朵的味道 不折不扣的
The scent of open flowers, no less.
好的 让我们开始吧 下一位
Hee. Right, let's get on with it. Next!
上天啊
Oh, heavens above!
我刚把那地板弄干净
Oh, lummy, I've just cleaned that floor.
抱歉 抱歉我一身的 抱歉
Sorry. Sorry about all the... Sorry.
你是哪位啊
And you are?
掏粪工理查德
Uh, Richard the Raker, gong farmer.
我的名片
Hmm-mm, my card.
恕我冒昧
I know this is a long shot,
但粪不就是指那种臭臭的东西吗
but is gong another word for something smelly?
是的
Yes.
就是屎吗
Is it poo?
就是屎 在中世纪
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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